TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... WILL WE SEE AN UNPRECEDENTED UNDERHAND STRATEGY ENACTED IN ORDER TO SAVE DRAG RACING?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team teleported to the future, to the distant year 3000, and to what followers of this series believe to be their most challenging assignment yet... The superiors from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association (H.D.R.A.) have assigned our do-gooders the crucial mission of saving Drag Racing from being wiped out of existence in the year 3000. Evidently, in the year 3000, a group of global zealots, and cockeyed global politicians are headstrong on completely abolishing the sport of drag racing. Our crew are assigned to pose as esteemed consultants from an elite and prestigious Cambridge based think-tank, and they've materialized in the final minutes of a crucial conference in Washington D.C., where a vote is soon to be taken by the world's top superpowers, deciding the eternal fate of drag racing...

Our seasoned leader, Larry Lamb, and Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer, and Fred The Wrench are dressed in suit and tie (although Fred's rather reluctant in his switch from greasy overalls to formal threads), Maria is wearing a business-like woman's pantsuit ensemble, and Peter The Parrot is outfitted in tacky, purple crushed velvet, reminiscent of a 'Vegas Elvis impersonator's jumpsuit. They're now in a spacious and elegant auditorium on the 200th floor of an opulent Washington D.C. high-security, government-affiliated skyscraper structure. The space their occupying is referred to as "the grand penthouse conference atrium". It's a gaudy decorated, spacious area, somewhat like what you'd see in the U.N., although unlike the U.N., there's fountains spouting top-shelf tequila, and priceless paintings fill practically every single square inch of wall space. There's exotic hostesses saddled on miniature ponies, serving caviar-laced hors d'Oeuvres. Maria's aghast when glancing out a window, "Look at that!!! For as far as the eye can see, way down there on the ground and towards the horizon, there's nothing but shanty towns and poverty, while all these corrupt international leaders and dignitaries surround themselves with bloated, over-the-top opulence!!"

Larry Lamb raises a hoof, requesting to address the room, and subsequently getting the attention of a snide dignitary officiating the conference... "The room recognizes that woolly fellow with his hoof up. Do you wish to speak?" says the full-of-himself individual... "Yes, sir. I do." replies Larry as he trots his way up to the podium... "Testing 1-2-3." Larry says into the podium microphone, "Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Larry Winston Harold Lamb the third, I'm a senior executive from a prestigious Cambridge based think tank."... "So, what do you have to contribute to the conversation, Mr. Lamb??" chimes in the conference officiator, "We're looking to wrap this matter up soon by voting drag racing out of existence, and then quickly transforming the general direction of this conference into a no-holds-barred jello-shot drinking competition!"... "Well," speaks Larry into the microphone, "I would like to implore you all to NOT abolish the sport of drag racing from our society. Taking away this form of recreational motorsport will most likely have less than desirable repercussions throughout the planet."... The event officiator abruptly interrupts Larry and says, "Uh, look, we all respect the fact that you're a polite, articulate gent, er, or lamb, or whatever, we really do, Mr. Lamb. HOWEVER, we are pretty damn unanimous in our collective desire to vote that drag racing be abolished forever."...

"Oh, I see." replies Larry Lamb with a hint in his voice of a desperate necessity to switch gears in his approach to turn the tables in drag racing's favor, "Is there ANYTHING I can do to change the minds of all of you? ANYTHING??"... The event officiator rubs his quadruple chin and blurts back, "Listen, pal. My name's Druscula Fusscula-- I run the show 'round here. Maybe we should have a private meeting in my chambers, and discuss your, ahem, strong desire to sway our impending negative decision concerning the matter of drag racing's future."... "Very well, Mr. Fusscula" Larry respectfully, though slightly apprehensively replies, "I'd be glad to voice my position to you in your private chambers, dear sir."... Druscula Fusscula leads Larry Lamb to a pair of fancy-schmancy styled golden paneled doors, somewhat sunken out of clear sight of the conference room... "What's goin' on?!?" asks Fred The Wrench to his cohorts, as they all witness Larry Lamb leave the podium, and disappear from view with the officiator of the event... "Our boss is going to have to think of something awful clever to prevent the gavel of doom from falling down and eliminating drag racing forever." replies Sebastian... "I'm nervous!!!" admits Maria with distraught ... "I'm nervous too!!!" squawks Peter The Parrot with anxiety,  "Our leader better come up with some kind of strategy behind those closed doors, to save this day from becoming a permanent death sentence for the sport of drag racing!!!"...

Larry Lamb's dazzled, as well as somewhat disturbed, by the sheer degree of excessive silver and gold plating he sees throughout Druscula Fusscula's private executive chambers. All the woods used to construct the office are from the most exclusive picks of luxurious, high-end lumber. There's 3-D photo holograms hanging on the walls, featuring images of  Fusscula posing with countless world leaders, dignitaries, and celebrities... "Let's not waste time." Fusscula says, as he admires his own hands, full of Superbowl rings that have been given to him by pro football players, who've needed favors from him over the years, "What do you want me to do about this future of drag racing situation, Mr. Lamb??"... "Well," starts Larry, "To be blunt, I need to leave this conference today knowing that drag racing will NOT be eliminated from society for all eternity, and I'm willing to do practically anything possible, to influence you and your cronies out there in the conference room, to see things my way."... "Okay, bub." replies Fusscula, "I'm game. Whattaya got, Mr. Lamb??"... "What do I got??" questions Larry Lamb, as he sees Fusscula with his hand out, while whistling a sour tune from the year 3000's hit parade, "Am I to assume you're looking for a BRIBE?!?"... "Look, Mr. Lamb." Fusscula responds, "It's going to take a lot of money, uh, make that a real lot of money, to make happen what you're asking for."... Larry contemplates what he's just heard, the selfish drooling greed, emanating from the politically corrupted mouth, of a world dignitary, who is looking for cash to change a major vote he's soon going to be officiating over at this cockeyed international conference of world leaders... Larry tries to compose himself and asks "May I please use your private washroom for a minute to freshen up? I shall be brief."... Fusscula replies "Sure. Then we'll talk, uh, business, right, pal??"... "Of course." Larry Lamb replies, as he then proceeds to trot into the washroom, closing the door behind him...

 

 Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... What the HECK is going on?!? It appears that the ONLY way to save the sport of drag racing from being abolished forever, is to come up with a substantial BRIBE for Druscula Fusscula?!? Larry went into Fusscula's private washroom and closed the door. What can Larry Lamb do in Fusscula's washroom, that can possibly produce the re$ource$ necessary to pay Fusscula off?!? If Larry Lamb is to go against his usual high code of ethics, and pay a bribe to save drag racing, that would be a completely UNPRECEDENTED strategy coming from such a respected operative of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association!!!  What do YOU think Larry will do?!? CAN DRAG RACING BE SAVED?!?!?...  OR NOT?!?!?... WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2016 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.