TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... THE DRAMATIC CONCLUSION TO OUR METAPHSICAL HOT RODDERS' BORDERLINE HIDEOUS HALLOWEEN PARTY...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are together at their Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned residence racing compound. A pint-sized H.D.R.A. related intruder named Stosh, masqueraded (wearing a Halloween costume), disguised as the Darkside Drag Racing Association's notorious "Mantis", evil clutch and bottom-end guy, well known and feared throughout the many parallel universes of the drag racing afterlife. The costumed character removed a layer of synthetic skin, molded in the shape of a praying mantis insect's head, adhered to his real head, and exposed his small parrot bird's head. 'Mantis' continued to shed off armor-like 'body panels" of his 'costume', and squawked out loud, "I tricked you all!!! Trick or Treat!!! Trick or Treat!!! What do y'all think of my custom-made Halloween costume that fooled you all into thinking I was Mantis?!? HA!!! AIN'T THAT A HYSTERICAL RIOT?!? HEE!!! HEE!!!!"...

"Wait a minute!!!" squawked Peter The Parrot, "This little critter feller is my old best friend from back in the day Stosh!!!!! He's a bird buddy I once served with in the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's Junior Speed Scout training program for animals!!!"... "That's right, old pal!!" responds the bird that we were all tricked on this Halloween, into believing was "Mantis", the notorious clutch guy from the Darkside Drag Racing Association... "You sure had me fooled, Stosh!" blurts Fred The Wrench "Your elaborate costume was very convincing!!!"... Maria laughs out loud at the situation... "Hey, Stosh!" squawks an ecstatic Peter The Parrot, "I got some cheese and crackers hidden under my mattress, so as Fred don't steal the edible goodies from me -- I been saving 'em for a special occasion just like this one!!!!"... "Oh brother," sarcastically shrugs Fred The Wrench, "As if it don't get weird enough 'round here with just one pint-sized parrot on the premises, now we gots two of 'em?!?"...

Everyone shares Halloween candy corn that Stosh brought with him. Peter The Parrot flies to his quarters to fetch the cheese and crackers. This is our crews first time celebrating Halloween due to the Heavenly Drag Racing Association lifting its former strict restrictions on the practice. Maria grabs a sheet from the linen closet, cuts holes for eyes, puts it over her body and pretends to be a happy howling ghost!! Moments later, Peter The Parrot, flies back to the assembled group and squawks "LOOK AT DIS?!? ALL MY CHEESE AND CRACKERS GOT SMOOSHED UNDER MY MATTRESS!!!! FRED MUSTA SAT ON MY BED WHEN HE WAS RAIDING MY OLD DRAG RACING 'ZINE STASH!!!! FRED MUSTA BEEN READING MY DRAG MAGS AND SITTIN' RIGHT WHERE I HAD THESE MUNCHIE GOODIES STASHED UNDER MY MATTRESS AND SQUASHED 'EM!!!! HE MUSTA CRUSHED MY TREATS WITH HIS AMPLE FRUMPY BODY MASS!!!!"...

"Calm down!" says Fred The Wrench, "Yes, I did recently raid your stash of old drag racing magazines, and yes, I did sit on your bed for a spell, and read through some of 'em, and musta smooshed your hidden cheese n' crackers under your mattress on accident. But I'll make it up to you, little guy!"... "Oh yeah?!?" squawks Peter The Parrot "How you gonna do that, Freddy boy?!?"... Fred walks to the fridge and pulls out a deluxe party platter that he had been saving for the proverbial 'special occasion' as well... "Oh my," says Larry Lamb, "Fred's party platter surely makes up for those squashed crackers and cheese you had hidden under your mattress, Peter!"... "I propose a toast!" interjects a gleeful Stosh, "Here's to the beauty of six members of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's afterlife racing operations, sharing a wholesome Halloween themed get-together of friends!!!"..."HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!" shouts the two parrots in collective unison ... Fred The Wrench proceeds to put on one of his favorite Fats Domino records and the party really starts hoppin'!!!...

BUT THEN!!!...  The needle on the Fats Domino record scratches its way across the disc as a result of a sudden seismic  shakeup of the surroundings!!... "OH NO!!!" shouts an aghast Maria... An eerie dark aura appears to rise up from the large party platter dish, and materialize in ghastly physical form!!!... "IT'S THE R-R-REAL MANTIS!!!" says Sebastian... "YEP!!! DAMN RIGHT IT'S ME -- THE REAL MANTIS!!! I'M CORROSIVELY CRASHING THIS LAME HALLOWEEN PARTY!!!" ghoulishly gurgles what is clearly visible as 'the real McCoy' of nefarious darkside clutch tuning creatures, "I WAS SCANNING MY SHORTWAVE CLAIRVOYANCE MONITOR AT MY DARKSIDE PAD, WHEN I SUCCESSFULLY BROKE YOUR TELEPATHIC BROADCAST SECURITY CODES, ENABLING ME TO WATCH THE PATHETIC PARTY HAPPENING HERE!!! -- YOU SEE, THIS MANTIS HEAD ON MY SHOULDERS IS NOT A HALLOWEEN COSTUME!!! THE MIND INSIDE THIS PRAYING MANTIS SHAPED HEAD IS TRUE INTERSPECIES METAPHYSICAL EVIL, SHIFTED INTO OVERDRIVE!!!! NOW I'M GOING TO TURN YOUR DOOFY, DO-GOODER, WHOLESOME HALLOWEEN PARTY INTO A SINISTER SUPERNATURAL NIGHTMARE SCENARIO, THAT YOU FEEBLE FOOLS COULD NEVER, EVER IMAGINE!!!!! HA!!! HA!!! HA!!! HA!!!"....

Sebastian immediately starts to spin at high RPMs in order to transform into 'Phantom Racer' mode... Mantis attempts to counteract and disrupt Sebastian's transformation actions by repeatedly chanting a morbid ancient mantis mantra, "STOP THE PHANTOM HERO IN HIS TRACKS AND SET HIS INNER CLOCK SEVERAL MINUTES BACK!!! STOP THE PHANTOM HERO IN HIS TRACKS AND SET HIS INNER CLOCK SEVERAL MINUTES BACK!!! STOP THE PHANTOM HERO IN HIS TRACKS AND SET HIS INNER CLOCK SEVERAL MINUTES BACK!!!"..."... Sebastian musters all the positive power he possibly can, shutting out Mantis' corrupting chanting, and successfully transforms into full 'Phantom' mode, then overwhelms Mantis with strength and finesse. Mantis tries desperately to fight back using freakish, freestyle sorcery moves, but can't break from Sebastian's mighty grip. Sebastian picks Mantis up over his head and throws him into a vat of corrosive tool cleaning liquid solution...

Mantis subsequently dissolves physically, though a weakened, translucent orb appears to materialize and escape from the toxic cleaning solution, and rapidly flies out one of the room's open skylights... "I guess that's all that is left of Mantis, for now anyways," says Sebastian, while standing tall in full 'Phantom Racer' hero regalia, "but don't think for one minute that Mantis is completely done for -- he'll travel in orb form back to his division of the Darkside Drag Racing Association's clutch experts enclave, and be reconstructed through the process of alchemy rehabilitation by their seasoned wizards of witchcraft."... "At least he's gone from here!!" says Maria, speaking with a sense of relief, as she removes her makeshift ghost sheet costume... "That was scary!" squawks Peter The Parrot... "Boy oh boy! I wanted to slug that Mantis creep right in his buggy kisser!" adds Fred The Wrench... "I believe that we best break this Halloween party up." says leader Larry Lamb with firm authority... "I'll transport back to my place." says Stosh "It was a fun party, for the short time that it lasted."... "Hey, it was good to see you again, buddy!" squawks Peter The Parrot "Don't be a stranger, come see us again!"... Stosh does his cute little bird waddle over to the metaphysical transport station, and fades away to back to where he came from... "Okay, everybody," orders Larry Lamb, "off to your quarters and get some sleep, I have a feeling that we'll be assigned another challenging mission from our superiors at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association sooner than later. Get your rest so you'll all be prepared for further drag racing afterlife do-gooder duty."...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Wow!! --  It's a good thing that Sebastian was able to successfully transform into 'Phantom Racer' mode, despite the evil chanting that Mantis was doing in an attempt to counteract the transformation process. Fortunately Sebastian was able to overpower the menacing Mantis from the darkside, throw him in a vat of toxic parts cleaning solution, reducing him to just a fleeing orb... It was nice for our gang to have Stosh The Parrot as a brief Halloween guest, and he was no worse for wear, and transported safely back to his Heavenly Drag Racing Association abode... Larry Lamb firmly orders everyone to bed, to rest up, and regain their strength and mindset for their next assigned mission from the H.D.R.A.... WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.