TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... TENSION IN THE STAGING LANES?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were on a covert celestial assignment for the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. They teleported to a Super Stock event situated in the 1960s, snooping to investigate if a drag strip in an alternative universe is functioning as a corrupt front for a sinister seafood poaching operation. This twisted strip existing in a warped time is located in a New England based wormhole, hovering in an obscure parallel portal of the drag racing afterlife. Our crew brought along a muscled-up blue '64 aluminum hemi-powered Plymouth Belvedere with them during teleportation to serve as their race entry... "This place sure smells weird." said Sebastian, "There's a scent of burning rubber mixed with a barrage of varied seafood smells."... "That's our very first clue that there is indeed something 'fishy' going on around here-- pun intended of course." responded leader Larry Lamb in his usual distinguished demeanor.... "Let's get our Belvedere over to tech inspection." blurted Fred The Wrench... "I'm glad I wore my straight-leg double-stitch dungarees" interjected Maria, "I fit in just right with what all the other gals are wearing at this weird strip."...

Our crew arrive at the track's tech booth along with other staunch looking Super Stockers. A  sloppy track official who reeks of low-tide odors approaches our team, "Hey, I ain't ever seen you folks here before. My name's Blowfish Billy, 'cause as you can plainly see, my face kinda resembles a blowfish. I'm the top tech inspector. That's quite a sharp looking Belvedere race car you strangers brought with you.".. As the clam-scented cretin who calls himself 'Blowfish Billy' gives the car a once over, it's quickly apparent that Billy's pant pockets are stuffed with soggy clams and oysters..."So, my dear man," Larry politely says "I can't help notice that your pockets are filled with what appears to be an ample amount of seafood."... "What's it to ya??" comes back Blowfish Billy in a less than cordial, even somewhat suspicious manner... "Oh, I don't know," replies Larry, in an attempt to sound naive and unassuming, "we might possibly be interested in purchasing some seafood to bring home and cook up after we win this race."...

Blowfish Billy peers directly into Larry Lamb's eyes and says, "Win this race?? Maybe you out-of towners best focus your efforts on trying to go some rounds first, before you think you're gonna win this event!! And put the idea of anything to do with seafood out of your busybody, nosy minds for now!!! I guarantee you that the other regular  racers and track personal here don't necessarily take very kindly to outsiders and strangers like yourselves!!!"... "Alright then. I get it, Billy. We'll all mind our own business." convincingly replies Larry Lamb...  Blowfish Billy shows a perplexed tinge of anger with a slant of his brow, then adds, "Your car looks okay by me. You strangers pass tech inspection today. You all better get it up to the lanes and make a time shot while you still can, 'cause first round starts in less than an hour. And mind your own business if you make conversation with any of the locals!!! Nobody much appreciates curious snoopers asking questions!!!! Understand?!?"...

Our gang leave the presence of Blowfish Billy and arrive in the Super Stock staging lanes. There's a couple of huge hopped-up Caddys in the street class lanes that get our crew's attention... "Will ya look at dat?" says Fred The Wrench "Dem Caddys must be bursting with sea life in their big trunks!"... "Play it cool, Fred." squawks Peter The Parrot "We can't let these creeps know we're on to them this early in the game."... "Peter's right." chimes in Sebastian. "We have to pretend to not notice all the salt water that's leaking out of those trunks."... "SUPER STOCK TIME SHOTS ARE NEXT!!" comes an announcement out of the track's P.A. speakers... "I'm suited up and ready to get back in the driver's seat." says a pensive Sebastian... "It does feel good  that we're finally back on assignment at the drags, even if these circumstances are kind of cockeyed." concurs Fred The Wrench "...

Suddenly a fellow Super Stock racer approaches our team and blurts out "My Cobra Jet Ford is gonna bury your Belvedere!"... "And who are you, buster??" replies Maria with her unique brand of moxie... "I'm Clawhammer Curtis" says the lanky character with only one tooth in his big mouth and one lazy eye positioned on his forehead... "That is quite a nice Cobra you have there." says Larry Lamb as he gets a good look at Clawhammer's admittedly spiffy entry... "Don't y'all bother being friendly with me." Clawhammer responds, "You ain't going to wanna be friendly with me after I put your butts on the trailer first crack I get at ya all."...

Fred The Wrench rolls his eyes... "I saw that, old man!" says Clawhammer as he gets up in Fred's face, "What's your story, bub, are you here to be a kiddie clown and give taffy bars to the children??"... "NO!!!" replies a now visibly and audibly perturbed Fred, "I'M HERE TO WRENCH THIS HERE HEMI BELVEDERE TO BEAT THAT FORD DUMP YOU'RE DRIVING, CLAWHAMMER!!!"... Fred's outburst immediately gets the attention of droves of surrounding racers and fans... We haven't seen Fred The Wrench demonstrate this much ornery anger in his delivery for months!!!...  An uncomfortable vibe permeates throughout the staging lanes area. A deafening sheet of silence then comes over the entire celestial drag strip facility... The tension is so thick you can cut it with a knife!!! SOMETHING IS DEFINITELY GOING TO HAPPEN!!! SOMETHING IS OBVIOUSLY GONNA  BREAK!!!!...

 

 Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Something's gonna break?!? Like what?!?... Will it be about the racing???... Will it be related to the alleged illegal seafood poaching operation???... What's the deal with Clawhammer Curtis???... Why did he make an effort to approach our crew of do-gooders and blatantly provoke confrontation??? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.