TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... WHAT'S THE FATE OF PETER THE PARROT'S BIG-BLOCK CHEVY MOLDED THANKSGIVING JELLO CAKE?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are all together at their Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned residence/racing compound. They recently went through a trying time related to what was originally a happy-spirited , seasonal Halloween party, that eventually went way-sinister, scary and completely sour. However, thanks to the heroic efforts of Sebastian, successfully transforming himself into 'Phantom Racer' mode, they managed to get a handle on the unsettling situation, and survive it. The turbulent happenings of that event makes it questionable as to whether or not the Heavenly Drag Racing  Association will allow any Halloween type of activities to take place next year. This was the first year ever, that the H.D.R.A. permitted their afterlife members to celebrate what was supposed to be a 'trial period' of  'wholesome Halloween fun', but with that all turning so gruesomely corrupt, due to an abrupt infiltration by an operative from the Darkside Drag Racing Association, it's anyone's guess, if there will ever be permission granted by the H.D.R.A. to initiate Halloween themed fun and folly again... When all the proverbial dust settled, and the compound was safely secured, team leader, Larry Lamb, ordered everyone to their respective quarters to rest up for the night, and recharge their batteries (figuratively speaking).

The next morning everyone files into the compound's kitchen for coffee... "Holy Gooey Gummy Bears!" squawks Peter The Parrot looking at the kitchen calendar, "Just when Halloween wraps up, it's already Thanksgiving!"... "Yep," replies Maria as she rubs her eyes and shuffles to the coffee brewer, "Today IS Thanksgiving! What does everyone want to eat later for Thanksgiving dinner??"... "Uh," blurts Fred The Wrench with a hint of cynical sarcasm, "Aren't ya supposed to eat turkey for Thanksgiving? That seems like the natural choice in my humble opinion."... "Hold it right there, Freddy-boy!!" interjects a clearly offended Peter The Parrot, "No way are we going to eat a BIRD for Thanksgiving!! NO WAY, BUB!!!"... "Well, then," comes back Fred The Wrench, as he stuffs a donut in his mouth, "what would YOU suggest we eat for Thanksgiving dinner, Peter???"... "I can whip up my special jello cake" squawks back Peter The Parrot... "Jello cake??" questions Sebastian... "Yeah!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "I've got a jello cake mold stashed under my bed that's shaped like a Chevy big block engine, and you can put all kinds of cool ingredients in the jello mold to make it festive and fun to eat!"... "Oh brother," shrugs Fred The Wrench, "besides the fact you can make it in the shape of a Chevy big block, which is kinda cool, there ain't much else that makes that idea sound appetizing to me."

Larry Lamb reaches up and grabs a fresh box of Lorna-Doone shortbread cookies from the kitchen cupboard (regular readers of this series are well aware that Lorna-Doones are Larry's favorite brand of cookie, and he often enjoys a few for breakfast, especially due to the tasty shortbread treat's dunk-a-bility). Maria has some pancakes in the skillet for her and Sebastian... Larry Lamb seats himself at the table, and dunks his first Lorna Doone cookie, looks at his subordinates, and says, "I can understand Peter's objection to serving a bird for Thanksgiving. I mean, with me being a lamb, I certainly would be aghast at the idea of eating lamb shanks for Thanksgiving, so it all makes sense to me."... "Ok, boss," replies Fred The Wrench, "but who wants to eat jello for Thanksgiving?!?"... "Listen up, Fred!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "I can put stuff in the jello cake to make it more appetizing to your Thanksgiving sensibilities!"... "Oh, yeah??" say Fred, "Like what?? -- Like what do you think you could possibly put in your jello cake to make me want to eat it on Thanksgiving?!?"...

Peter The Parrot pauses for a moment, looking like he's in deep thought, and replies, "I'll tell ya what ingredients I can put in my jello cake to make it more appetizing for ya, Fred! I can put in cabbage, radishes, oregano, tomatoes, sesame seeds, noodles, asparagus tips, raisins, soy sauce, mushrooms, dijon mustard, zucchini, peppers, horseradish, onion soup mix, clam juice, spinach, uh, how does ALL THAT sound, Freddy-boy??"... "DISGUSTING!!!"  says Fred The Wrench as he cringes at the thought of Peter's crass culinary concoction "I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE A BIG-BLOCK CHEVY ENGINE SHAPED JELLO CAKE MOLD OR NOT -- YOUR DUMB, BIRD-BRAINED IDEA DEFINITELY DOES NOT APPEAL TO ME ONE SINGLE BIT, PETER!!!"...

Larry Lamb interjects, "Listen, I have an idea. Through the magic of telepathic telekinesis, I'll order our Thanksgiving dinner from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's five-star culinary serving station, we'll order a generous platter that doesn't feature any bird or lamb, and then have it materialize at our teleportation chamber just in time for Thanksgiving dinner."... "No offense, Peter" says Maria, "but the boss' idea is the best idea I've heard so far for planning our Thanksgiving dinner."... "I agree," chimes in, Sebastian, "and I'll tell you what, Peter, you can still make your big block Chevy molded jello cake for desert, but just put fruity ingredients in it, the kind of stuff that's supposed to be in a jello cake!"... "Yeah," concurs Fred The Wrench, "Don't be puttin' any onion soup mix, cabbage or horseradish in your jello cake, Peter! That's gross!!"... "Alright, alright" squawks Peter The Parrot, "I'll create a more standard jello cake that we can all have for dessert."

Hours pass by, and it's finally time for Thanksgiving dinner. Larry Lamb places his order telepathically with the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's five-star culinary serving station, and in the blink of an eye, it metaphysically materializes at the teleportation chamber ... "Mmmmm" says Fred The Wrench as he catches a whiff of the festive Thanksgiving platter, "it sure smells good!"... "It sure does!" adds Maria, "I made some homemade holistic cranberry sauce that we can have with it."... Larry Lamb carries the platter over to the compound's formal dining room, and Larry, Maria, Fred The Wrench, and Sebastian seat themselves at the table... "Hey!" exclaims Maria, "Where's Peter?!?"... Then to everyone's surprise, Peter The Parrot walks into the dining room, with what looks like a cracked and broken up, big-block Chevy molded jello cake.. "WHAT HAPPENED, PETER???" asks a befuddled Sebastian "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO YOUR BIG-BLOCK CHEVY ENGINE SHAPED JELLO CAKE?!?"... "Yeah," adds Maria, "it looks like a complete mess!!!"... "Evidently," squawks Peter The Parrot, "when I put it in the freezer to harden up, the pineapple chunks must have exploded and BLOWN A GASKET, THREW OUT A ROD AND CRACKED THE WHOLE BLOCK!!!"... Everyone takes a brief pause and then laugh out loud at Peter's failed and collapsed big-block Chevy engine jello cake... "Not to worry, Peter" says a calming Larry Lamb, "I ordered a deluxe pumpkin pie, just in case your jello cake would have this sort of mishap."... Peter The Parrot takes it all in stride and seats himself with the group... Our gang of drag racing afterlife do-gooders proceed to have an enjoyable and intimate Thanksgiving dinner... Larry Lamb raises a glass and makes a toast, "Here's to all of you, who are far more than just my trusty drag racing afterlife subordinates, who are also my dear friends, and my family."... Everyone joins in on the toast and share a heartfelt moment of collective joy, appreciation and thankfulness...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Despite Peter The Parrot's big-block Chevy molded jello cake dessert imploding, exploding, and collapsing into inedible jello cake carnage, our gang got past that mishap, and were able to share a warm and heartfelt Thanksgiving meal. It was a good thing that leader Larry Lamb had the foresight to add a pumpkin pie to his order from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's five-star culinary serving station, so our do-gooders still had something sweet for dessert.  Yes, all is warm, cozy and joyful on this Thanksgiving Day -- BUT AS WE ALL WELL KNOW, JUST WHEN YOU THINK OUR GANG IS HAVING A BREAK FROM THE UNPREDICTABLE MISCHIEF THAT COMES FROM THE DASTARDLY DARKSIDE DRAG RACING ASSOCIATION, SOMETHING CREEPY ALWAYS LURKS JUST 'ROUND THE CORNER, AND SPOILS THE SANE SERENITY!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.