TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... SEBASTIAN AKA 'THE PHANTOM RACER' IS TRAILING BEHIND 'FREAKY FROSTBITE' AT HALF TRACK?!? NOW WHAT?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are engaged in their first mission of the New Year. The superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association gave our crew an incredibly challenging assignment, teleporting them to a comet being directed through space by racing fiends from the Darkside Drag Racing Association. It's a corrupted comet being navigated to eventually collide with planet earth and cause cataclysmic destruction. Our gang are about to compete in a front-engined Top Fuel matchrace being held at the cold, creepy and dastardly deranged drag strip facility, located smack in the middle of the volatile comet, and then, they're to initiate a plan to overcome the demented 'snow creature' darkside drag racing inhabitants, and THEN, somehow redirect the comet's projection so that it DOESN'T hit and destroy the earth. It's a time-traveling, circa 1960 drag racing scene, in a twisted time-warped extraterrestrial environment of maniacal mayhem. Maria has a theory that they can possibly and eventually get the comet to change its fatal course by using an ancient Mesopotamian chant to implement a form of metaphysical telekinesis generated planetary projection diversion...

The ghastly snow creatures who populate the comet and its drag strip are hideous low-lifes with no sense of morals or ethics. Comets are fundamentally icy combinations of rock, dust and space debris, hence the wicked snow creatures abound. Our team's in the staging lanes with their blown, trick lightweight, 108-inch wheelbase digger.  A cryptic looking snow creature carrying a clipboard, named Rosco, who is the event director, points to a racing team situated right next to our gang, and vocalizes in a gurgling fashion, "I'm pairing you up against 'Freaky Frostbite' and his 'Below-Zero Boys' crew."... ""WE'RE GOING TO BEAT YOUSE SENSELESS!!!" suddenly screams the Freaky Frostbite snow creature from inside his icy white dragster at our crew, "I'M GONNA PUT A  DEEEP FREEEEZE ON YOU LOSERS!!!!! ME AND MY TEAM HAVE BEEN EATING PINEAPPLE SNOW CONES ALL NIGHT AND DAY LEADING UP TO THIS RACE!!!!! AND WE'VE ALSO BEEN CONSUMING FREEZE POPS BY THE THOUSANDS TO PUMP US UP!!!! WE'RE GONNA SHOW YA FREAKY DEAKY DOOM LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE!!!!! HA HA HA!!!!"...

Fred The Wrench grows agitated by Freaky Frostbite's ridiculous rhetoric, and yells back, "WHAT THE HECK DOES EATING SNOW CONES AND FREEZE POPS HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR PERFORMANCE?!? I NEVER HEARD SUCH STUPIDITY FROM A RACER BEFORE!!!! ALL YOUR BLABBERING IS COCKEYED NONSENSE!!!"... Awkward silence blankets the staging lanes. It seems as if Fred's tongue lashing tirade of Freaky Frostbite may now result in volatile consequences! Freaky Frostbite's complexion quickly turns from snowy white to a deep shade of burning, fiery red and purple!!! Frosty Frostbite emits a dark shadowy, sinister supernatural aura of venomous vengeance as he stares Fred and our team down!!!  Something's gonna break and it may not be pretty! One of Freaky Frostbite's 'Below -Zero Boys', nicknamed 'Frigid Fug", comes from behind and puts Fred in a gripping headlock!... "Alright, Break It Up!!" shouts event director Rosco "We've got a race to run against a curfew. There's no time for brawling shenanigans!! This event has to wrap up and be finished before we all plow into planet Earth and evaporate into cosmic space dust!! Hee Hee Hee!"... Frigid Fug lets go of Fred and shrugs, "Uh, you take all the fun out of racing, Rosco!"... Fred The Wrench tries to get his composure back and blurts, "We'll get our licks in once we get to competing! You'll see!!"... "Aw, shuddup!!" comes back a still defiant Frigid Fug "You and your lame duck gang ain't got a snowball's chance in H*ll of beating us!!"... Larry Lamb discreetly mumbles to Peter The Parrot, "Somehow, that statement coming from Frigid Fug rings eerily profound in this unsettling environment."... "Yeah, I know what ya mean, boss." replies a rattled Peter The Parrot...

Rosco signals Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer and Freaky Frostbite to fire-up and pull into the burnout box. Both dragsters get marginal traction while smoking the tires. The somewhat icy drag strip is tricky at best. Maria runs out to the track to perform her back-up girl duties. She's wearing a parka jacket and hot pants, an odd combination... "My legs are cold." Maria says to herself as she directs Sebastian into the groove... "Ya know, boss," Peter The Parrot squawks to leader Larry Lamb, trying to be heard over the cackle of the engines, "I sure didn't like the way Rosco was taking pleasure in how we're supposed to be plowing into planet Earth aboard this creepy comet!"... "Yes, but do try to remain discreet, Peter." replies Larry Lamb, "We don't want these darkside sadists to detect us as being do-gooders from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association."... "Gotcha, boss" says a now more cautious Peter The Parrot... 'Frigid Fug' is handling back-up duties for Freaky Frostbite in the opposing lane, and crassly yells over to Maria, "Hey Baby, it's a shame we're all gonna expire soon when this comet collides with Earth, 'cause I sure would like to get to know you better, b-b-bbabycakes!!"... Maria glances over at Frigid Fug with a sneer of disdain, while getting Sebastian staged in the beams. Freaky Frostbite plays a little dirty waiting game, then Rosco waves him to stage. A  rickety christmas tree commences countdown and flashes GREEN!! Both dragsters raise the front tires off the launch and desperately try to get bite on a slippery surface. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!! It's a tough drag race!!! Is it possible that Fred The Wrench's tune up ain't cuttin' the muster in these chilled racing conditions?!? At the half track mark, Freaky Frostbite has a few feet of lead on Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer!! The rundown grandstands are filled to capacity with sinister snow creatures, cryptically cheering on Freaky Frostbite with fiendish, frothing-at-the-mouth enthusiasm!! This is a DRAG RACE that's NOT going so well for our do-gooders!! It's the first race of the New Year and it's a nail-biting, nerve wrecking, gosh, darn doozy of a drag strip battle!!!!...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  This mission sure has a chilly and creepy vibe!!! The pairing of Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer against Freaky Frostbite is proving to be no easy walk in the park!!! Freaky Frostbite's digger has a slight lead on Sebastian as the drivers reach the half-track mark!!! If our do-gooders turn out to not even be able to score a win on the strip, how will they be able to subsequently overpower and prevent these sinister snow creatures of the drag racing afterlife's darkside, from hurling this comet to an intentional doomsday date with planet Earth?!? CAN OUR DO-GOODER GANG MAKE IT THROUGH THIS DASTARDLY FRONT-ENGINED DRAGSTER BATTLE?!?! AND THEN GAIN CONTROL OF THE COMET'S NAVIGATION AND DIVERT IT FROM PLANET EARTH'S DOOM?!?! WE'RE DEFINITELY ALL WAITING WITH BATED BREATH TO SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2018 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.