TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... PREPARING FOR A BEACH PARTY SAND DRAGSTER DATE OF DARKSIDE DEPRAVITY?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact...  We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were back at their home base, and assembled together in the executive conference room... "Please, I ask the you all take a seat." said Larry Lamb in a serious tone, seated at the helm of an Italian marble conference table with diamond moon-star inlays... "What's going on, boss?!?" squawked Peter The Parrot ... "Yeah, why the urgency in calling this special meeting?" blurted Fred The Wrench...  "WHAT'S our new assignment?!?" questioned Maria... "Well, Maria." replied Larry Lamb, "The new assignment that the Heavenly Drag Racing Association has just issued us, will in fact, facilitate your longtime, repeated requests to the H.D.R.A. administration over the last couple of years, to get a chance to occupy the cockpit of a race car.".... "You mean I'M FINALLY GOING TO GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO DRIVE?!?" said Maria, as she could barely contain her enthusiastic giddiness, "YOU'RE SAYING THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME, I'M FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY GETTING MY CHANCE TO GET BEHIND THE WHEEL OF  A RACE CAR?!?"... "Yes, Maria" stated Larry Lamb, "Sebastian is going to have to work the sidelines for this new assignment."..."How come?" said Sebastian... "Because this new assignment requires that we compete in the Darkside Drag Racing Association's planet X program." replied Larry Lamb "It's a program that features all female drivers, ONLY female drivers, very EVIL female drivers I might add, nasty ladies who don't hesitate to play dirty"...

"Ain't dat da beach dragster bikini league or somethin' like that, boss??" mumbles Fred The Wrench while he chews on a handful of M&Ms from the conference room's candy dish, "I saw somethin' 'bout that on yesterday's 'H.D.R.A. TODAY' intelligence briefing program."... "Exactly, Fred" replies Larry Lamb "It's a disgusting, dastardly deprived skimpy bikini beach party that also serves as one of the darkside's most competitive of sand dragster drag racing scenes."... "WHAT?!?" exclaims Maria "I HAVE TO WEAR A BIKINI AND RACE AGAINST A BUNCH OF DARKSIDE DEPLORABLE GALS AT  A  DRAG RACING BEACH PARTY OF DEPRAVITY?!?"...  "I guess you can't complain, Maria." interjects Sebastian, "After all, you have been pretty headstrong persistent in expressing your desire to drive with the Heavenly Drag Racing Association brass."... "Oh, I know. I know. I asked for it." says a more subdued Maria,  "I'm good with whatever I have to do in order to help curtail the degenerate behavior of the Darkside Drag Racing Association, and their crop of wicked, rancid racers."... "Oh," says Larry Lamb with a bit of pause and apprehension "There's still one other thing you need to know, Maria."... "What's that?" Maria replies... "All the women drive blindfolded." responds Larry Lamb... "YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT ALL THE RACERS HAVE TO DRIVE THEIR SAND DRAGSTERS WHILE BLINDFOLDED?!? THAT'S CERTAINLY A SICK TWIST!!!" blurts out Maria "GOOD GRIEF!!!"...

"We have a speedy sand dragster in stock in the shop." squawks Peter The Parrot... "Uh, yeah," says Fred The Wrench "It could use a little refreshing on the motor."... "Well, let's get to it!" squawks back Peter... Fred and Peter leave the conference room and waddle off to the shop to prepare a sand digger for competition... "Go up to the wardrobe department, Maria." states Larry Lamb "Get yourself a bikini and a blindfold."... "Will do, boss." replies Maria, as she takes the stairs a flight up to the wardrobe department... "What should I do?" asks Sebastian... "Well, since you won't be driving for this assignment, Sebastian," says an authoritative Larry Lamb "You can play the role as driving instructor to Maria. Take her up on the roof to our practice tracks, use the sand drag strip on the southern side, and grab one of the practice sand diggers up there too, and try to give her a crash course in driving."... "Okay, sir." responds Sebastian "When does our actual deprived sand dragging beach party race take place?"... "It's tomorrow!" replies Larry Lamb... "Yikes!" says Sebastian as he's taken aback by the lack of prep time... Maria rapidly returns with a pink bikini and matching blindfold  "The wardrobe department staff already received a work order from the H.D.R.A. logistics office, and had the bathing suit and blindfold pulled from their inventory. The blindfold has a trick hybrid transparency fabric that will enable me to see through it, without the creeps from the darkside knowing."... "That's an ingenuous little trick that should certainly give you an advantage over the other blindfolded drivers!" says Larry "Now go suit up, Maria. And go get in some driving practice with Sebastian."... Maria and Sebastian leave for the practice track... Larry Lamb stands alone in the conference room, shakes his woolly head a bit, as he's feeling some inner anxiety about this new assignment. Maria's never driven before. The deprived beach party sand dragging event is guaranteed to have some unsavory characters, the worst the Darkside Drag Racing Association has to offer. This is going to be a somewhat overwhelming task for the team. Larry looks up to the heavens and whispers under his breath "Please give me strength-- Please give me strength."...

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Well, it appears that this week's episode ends in a way that exposes the somber and not-so-often shown emotional side of leader Larry Lamb. We're so used to just seeing Larry's stiff upper lip, and strong side of his personality, but now, we see that there are times when even our respected leader has his own reservations and apprehensive inner reflections... Our team are assigned to an all female driver division of the Darkside Drag Racing Association's sleazy beach digger scene! Yes, this is indeed finally the opportunity that Maria has long been waiting for-- she's finally getting a chance to drive, as a bikini wearing, blindfolded beach digger competitor!! It seems as if Larry, in his own solitude, and deep frame of mind, is contemplating whether or not this task can even be a successful one with Maria making her driving debut... CAN MARIA  DO IT?!?!? CAN MARIA PULL IT OFF AND PUT THE LEWD LADIES FROM THE DARKSIDE ON THE TRAILER?!? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.