TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... FRED GETS A COLD, CREEPY RECEPTION AT THE DARKSIDE DRAG RACING ASSOCIATION'S EXECUTIVE OFFICES???...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were back home at their heavenly living compound and racing operations headquarters, after returning from a crucial assignment that teleported them to the distant year 3000, where the Heavenly Drag Racing Association (H.D.R.A.) assigned our do-gooders to prevent the sport of drag racing from being completely wiped out of existence, at the hands of crooked politicians participating in an international legislative conference . When leader Larry Lamb was unsuccessful in persuading the politicians to save drag racing with his brief speech at the podium, Larry was then forced to metaphysically produce a mammoth-sized money bribe, paid to the corrupt Druscula Fusscula, the officiator of the Washington D.C. based conference. It was a bribe that simply had to be paid. This weighed emotionally heavy on our group, because they never paid a bribe before. Paying the bribe caused controversy among our crew, due to what can admittedly be perceived as a morally and ethically questionable strategy...

The superiors at the H.D.R.A  then insisted that our crew create a cover-up scenario, in order to eliminate the notion that Larry Lamb paid a bribe to alleviate the threat of drag racing's massive extinction. The HDRA believed that the fact that Larry paid a bribe, somehow leaked out through a news-cycle driven cyber-eliptical virus pirate-broadcast, distributed among members of the drag racing afterlife's darkside. H.D.R.A. brass believe this dangerous development  could open the floodgates for threats of future aggressive extortion against our crew and the H.D.R.A.... Larry and Sebastian strolled over to the main metaphysical programming console, and created a replacement scenario to erase the bribe incident from all forms of the enemy's intelligence and recorded history. They morphed time and space, to create the deceptive illusion that the bribe was paid by an obscure alien-being, that immediately expired after the extortion sum was turned over, therefore clearing Larry Lamb of the ethically questionable deed.

Larry Lamb then receives another telepathic order from the H.D.R.A. Larry addresses his subordinates, "I've just been assigned to direct this team through a mission of parallel universe enigma espionage.".... "WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?!?" shouts Fred The Wrench. "THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE BACK ON THE RACE TRACK ANYTIME SOON!!!"... "I'm afraid not." Larry replies, "And I must tell you, Fred, this new mission requires that YOU pose undercover, as a traveling celestial carpet salesman, to infiltrate the executive offices of the Darkside Drag Racing Association (D.D.R.A.)"... Sebastian interjects "I'll bet the H.D.R.A. wants Fred to get into the D.D.R.A.'s offices, and find out for sure if our bribe cover-up story stuck solid with those darkside dirtbags." ... "Exactly" concurs Larry.... Maria says "I'll find Fred a salesman's suit and ensemble in the wardrobe department."... “So I'm supposed to act like I'm selling carpet to the sleazy kingpins over at the Darkside Drag Racin' Association's executive offices??" says a somewhat reluctant Fred... "Yes." replies Larry, "You'll also need to create casual, unassuming conversations with the gearheaded ghouls at the D.D.R.A., and discreetly probe them for information, confirming whether or not  the bribe incident is now perceived as being void of any involvement of us and our Heavenly Drag Racing Association related operations."...

"Alright, alright." wearily acquiesces Fred "Suit me up."... "You really are a hero, Fred." says Larry, "I'm sure that after this mission is completed, the H.D.R.A. will award you with plaques of appreciation."... "I don't need any more plaques of appreciation, or trophies, or fancy schmancy letters of accommodation." mumbles Fred, "How's 'bout them H.D.R.A. bosses rewarding me with our next assignment actually being AT THE DRAG STRIP-- With me handling mechanic duties?!?"... "I'll tell you what, Fred" replies Larry Lamb, "I promise that the next time you go out on assignment, you're a wrench in overalls, at the drags, doing the thing I know you love to do more than anything else in all the infinite dimensions of space!”... Maria hands Fred the clothes he's to wear to pose as a carpet salesman. Fred goes to get dressed and returns in a few minutes..."Hey, Fred!" squawks Peter The Parrot "You actually look presentable for a change!"... "Awww, shuddup" blurts back Fred... Larry Lamb gives Fred some carpet samples and sales brochures to make his role seem more believable, and leads him over to the teleportation chamber, so he can be teleported to the executive offices of the Darkside Drag Racing Association...

"We'll be monitoring you with our covert telepathic relay system, Fred." says Larry Lamb, "Please try to remain cool and collected, and find out whether or not our metaphysically activated cover-up plot successfully stuck with them darkside creeps."... "But, uh, I don't really know much about carpets, boss." blurts Fred as he stands only seconds away from teleportation... "I know, Fred." replies Larry, "You're just going to have to wing it, we need to know asap how the bribe incident stands with our darkest nemesis organization of the drag racing afterlife."... Larry commences telportation countdown "5-4-3-2-1"... In a flash of magenta light, Fred vanishes from the teleportation chamber and materializes all alone, in an elevator, inside the headquarters of the Darkside Drag Racing Association... The elevator door opens, Fred gets his first glimpse of the lavish interior of the enemy's offices... "Good Lord!!" Fred whispers to himself under his breath, "The womens here are barely decent in what's they be wearing-- and there's weird pulsating music and lights!! How do they get any work done at this place?!? How can they possibly concentrate?!?"...

Fred approaches what appears to be a receptionist desk, "Can I help you?" says a lavishly made-up, gaudy looking lady ghoul, "I've never seen you here before, bud. You look like a salesman."... "Uh, yeah." reacts Fred as he fidgets with his collar, "Uh, I'm a traveling celestial carpet salesman."... "Well, you'll have to speak with Mr. Fearsome, he's the purchasing agent for our organization." says the receptionist, as she smacks her gum, and applies even more make-up to her face, a face that already looks like it has multiple coats gobbed all over it, "Have a seat, I'll tell him that you're here. What's your name, bub?"... "Uh, Fred," replies our nervous mechanic playing the role of carpet salesman... The receptionist calls Mr. Fearsome, informing him about Fred and his carpet selling intentions, and then says to Fred, "Mr. Fearsome will be right out."... Then a door flies opens from a corner office, a large imposing figure of a sinister ghoul steps out and walks towards Fred... Fred can't help but gulp in apprehension as he sees the tall, menacing, freakish purchasing agent now standing in front of him... "I don't recall requesting any carpet salesmen lately!!!" blurts Mr. Fearsome as he eerily looks down at a seated Fred, "Who sent you here?!?!?"...

 

 Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Oh dear, it appears that Fred The Wrench's cover as a traveling celestial carpet salesman is already on shaky ground with the Darkside Drag Racing Association's purchasing agent, Mr. Fearsome, as Larry Lamb, Sebastian, Maria, and Peter The Parrot nervously monitor what's transpiring back at home base, via the screens of the covert telepathic relay system. Will Fred be able to infiltrate and gain valuable intelligence at the executive offices of the Darkside Drag Racing Association without being found out as a covert agent from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association???  Will he be able to learn if the metaphysical cover-up of the bribe incident stuck?!? Will Fred be able to remain cool and collected with the ghoulish Mr. Fearsome?!?! WHERE IS THIS ALL GOING?!?!? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.