TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... DRAG RACING'S LEADING PARANORMAL TEAM DISCLOSE THEIR MUCH ANTICIPATED NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were together for Christmas at their Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned residence/racing compound. Fred The Wrench was saved from traumatic, emotional distress by Maria, when she came up with an ancient Mesopotamian metaphysical chant, to turn a frumpy, overly-anxious, fearful Fred, into a delicate, relaxed, peace-of-mind, blessed butterfly, by freeing him of an agonizing childhood memory, a memory of when on one Christmas morning, his father, who was also a mechanic, discovered that his son, Fred, lost his favorite pair of pliers, and then as punishment, he took a young Fred's one and only Christmas present, a 'Visible V8' model kit, and threw it into the blazing family fireplace -- a horrible experience that Fred was never really able to emotionally shake free of until the recent Christmas butterfly metamorphosis was performed by Maria... After the metamorphosis successfully cleansed Fred of his childhood Christmas trauma, Maria then went on to deliver another ancient Mesopotamian chant, that successfully transferred Fred back to his old human bodily-formed self. With Fred now free of his childhood induced, mentally debilitating pain, our crew went on to have a festive, glorious Christmas celebration together. Leader Larry Lamb put on his Bing Crosby Christmas records on the crew's vintage Zenith console stereo (Bing Crosby is Larry's favorite classic crooner, due to his smooth style and vocal delivery), and everyone also exchanged modest Christmas presents among themselves, and enjoyed wholesome seasonal merriment...

Some days have past since Christmas, and our gang are casually hanging out in the hot rod shop... "So," says Larry Lamb "Another year is soon coming to a close, and a new year is fast approaching, it is time, in the name of positive self improvement, a thing that we should always strive for, that we all make a commitment to making our New Year's resolutions."... "Uh, okay, boss." squawks Peter The Parrot "I'll go first. Um, my New Year's resolution is to try to become more organized. As Fred's assistant, I think I could do a better job of keeping the shop more clean, and making sure everything is in its proper place and easily accessible."... "That's sounds like a dandy resolution, Peter." replies Larry, "It's also a sound idea to improve the organization of the shop, for when we get called for an emergency assignment, and we don't have time much to search for all the necessary items needed to complete the mission."... "I guess I'll make my New Year's resolution" blurts Fred The Wrench, "I think I'll spend more time reading the telepathic technical bulletins that come in from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's mechanical educational bureau. There's always new tips on tuning and mechanical stuff in those bulletins, and even though I ain't much of a reading sort of guy, I really should make an effort to keep on top of that stuff, so we're better prepared when facing the darkside forces of the drag racing afterlife on the drag strip."... "Bravo!"  exclaims Larry Lamb, "I'm very proud of you, Fred, for your admirable resolution."...

"For the new year," chimes in Maria, "I'm going to explore more in the way of heavenly generated mysticism, channeling, alchemy, psychic ability, numerology, clairvoyance, subconscious regeneration, ESP, you know, all the sort of skills that come in handy when we're in a fix."... "Wow," replies Larry Lamb, that's quite a list of supernatural skill sets, but you're right, Maria. So often in our work, it's not just the nuts and bolts drag racing that counts, we also need those kind of metaphysical advantages that you seem to have such a knack for."... "I'll say," adds Fred The Wrench, "If it wasn't for Maria's ability to perform her ancient Mesopotamian metaphysical chants, I would have been plagued with my Christmas childhood anxiety for all eternity. She's a godsend in my opinion."... "So, what about you, Sebastian?" inquires Larry Lamb, "What's YOUR resolution for the new year?"... "The same thing it's been for the last few years, chief," respectfully responds Sebastian, "I'm going to dedicate at least an hour a day, when I have the time, to sharpening my reaction time skills with my practice tree, I'd still like to shave a little more off my reaction times, that's always a plus when I'm facing some of the slicker shoes from the darkside of the drag racing afterlife."... "Yes, that's true, Sebastian." concurs Larry Lamb, "while you're certainly no slouch on the tree, it can't hurt to try to even be a little quicker off the bulbs."...

"What about YOU, boss??" squawks Peter The Parrot to leader Larry Lamb "Don't YOU have a New Year's resolution??"... "Well," replies Larry, "Actually, I do, though it's not really drag racing related. What I'd like to do for the new year is spend more time building my expertise in the game of chess."... "Chess??" blurts out Fred The Wrench, "I'm more of a checkers kind of guy."... "Yes, I know, Fred." says Larry Lamb, "and there's nothing wrong with playing a fun game of checkers, however, when I was knee high to a grasshopper, during my mortal childhood in merry ole' England, I played chess with a sense of noble chivalry, especially among my peers at our distinguished school of intellectually gifted child lambs, yes, I was quite a stellar and formidable lamby lad on the chess board."... Fred The Wrench rolls his eyes a bit... "I saw that, Fred." snaps Larry Lamb... "Uh, I'm sorry, boss." replies Fred, "It's just I guess I ain'ts nearly as sophisticated as you are. And to be honest, I sometimes wonder how an uppity spirit like you ever got interested in this low-brow drag racing stuff??"... Well, first of all" says Larry, "I do appreciate your honesty, I respect that. As far as how such an 'uppity spirit' as you referred to me, became interested in what's often perceived as a low-brow motorsport activity goes, I was once grazing with my other 'uppity' lamb friends in a scenic green meadow adjacent to Santa Pod Raceway, in my hometown of beautiful Befordshire, England, and I heard the sound of the cars storming down the strip, I hooved it over to the fence on the top-end of the track, and watched in amazement at the accelerating action, and I immediately became hooked for life, and obviously the afterlife as well.'... "Really??" squawked Peter The Parrot... "Yes, indeed," replied Larry Lamb, "I recall saying to my other lamb chums at the time, this drag racing sport is baaaa baaaaa baaaad to the bone!"... All the crew chuckle at their leader Larry Lamb's colorfully clever comment and give each other a warm and harmonious group hug. We hope only the very best for our gearhead gang of the drag racing afterlife for the coming year...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Well, this was certainly a rather insightful episode. Getting to learn all our crew's New Year's resolution made for compelling and captivating reading. And it was sure a treat the way leader Larry Lamb disclosed how he originally became hooked on the sport of drag racing. His story was both educational and entertaining. It's just dandy how all the gang are having the opportunity to spend some peaceful quality time together at their compound, sharing their thoughts and resolutions... HOWEVER, AS WE ALL KNOW, THE GOOD AND PEACEFUL TIMES DON'T USUALLY LAST VERY LONG 'ROUND THESE PARTS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE EVIL FORCES OF THE DRAG RACING AFTERLIFE ARE ALWAYS LURKING IN THE SHADOWS!!!! WHERE IS THIS GOING?!?! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.