TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... AN EERIE ENTITY OFFERS A LESS THAN HEART WARMING HOMECOMING FOR OUR DO-GOODER CREW?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact...  We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team successfully completed another covert celestial assignment for the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. They teleported to a Super Stock event situated in a 1960s time warp, to bust a drag strip in an alternative universe, that was functioning as a corrupt front for an illegal seafood poaching operation. Our crew got the job done thanks to Sebastian driving their '64 Plymouth Belvedere to victory over "Clawhammer Curtis", and his slick Jet Ford Cobra. Then when our gang went to put the cuffs on "Clawhammer" and his poaching cronies, Clawhammer and his crew metaphysically morphed into crabs... "Ya see," said  Clawhammer, now speaking as a small crawling crab, "Me and my boys are the lost souls of seafood poaching seasons past. We were once illegally poached seafood ourselves, and when we were mercilessly boiled alive in a big pot, during a teen bonfire on the beach, our spirits escaped the pain and became the racing men of the afterlife that you saw us as just before."... Larry Lamb interjected with empathy  "I'm sure the court of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association will take all your hardship and suffering into consideration when deciding your detention sentences."...

Clawhammer twitched his crab claws, then proclaimed "I want Fred The Wrench to have my Cobra as a gift. I won't be needing it in my current physical state and where I'm going. And even though I ribbed Fred pretty badly before, I could tell that he's a guy who has his heart in the right place with this drag racing stuff. I want Fred to have my prized Cobra car."... "I-I-I don't know what to say," responded a somber Fred The Wrench, "Truth is, Ford Cobras have long been one of my all-time favorite Ford muscle cars-- but hey, uh, why don't we just consider it a gift on loan while you do your time, Clawhammer-- I'll do some modifications to it while yer in da joint, so that when you get out, I'll give it back to you with even more heaping horsepower and torrid torque!!"... "Thanks, Fred!" Clawhammer responds, "I believe when I'm released, the authorities will permit me to live the rest of eternity in a more human like form again."...  It's an awkward situation, when the so-called good guys and the so-called bad guys have more of a blur between them and their ethical convictions than a clear black and white line... Larry Lamb teleportated Clawhammer and his crony crabs to central booking at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association... Then Larry Lamb activated teleportation for our crew and their Belvedere, as well as their newly acquired Jet Ford Cobra to back home at base headquarters...

As our group and their cars materialize in the teleportation receiving area at their home base, they notice a sinister shadowy figure going through Larry Lamb's desk... Sebastian immediately takes action, running and jumping the dark figure... "WHERE THE HECK DID IT GO?!?" shouts Sebastian as the eerie entity vanishes from visual sight... "Oh dear," sighs Larry Lamb while then checking his desk, "It looks like the creature swiped my recent 'goals and aspirations report' that I prepared for our superiors at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. As an agent from the darkside, as I'm sure that creature most certainly is, we can count on those creeps now having a clear outline of our present and future objectives if that information falls into their hands--This is NOT good!!"... "What a lousy welcoming home moment for us!!" squawks Peter The Parrot... "Darn, just when we was lookin' forward to relaxin a little bit!" blurts Fred The Wrench "I'll betcha that creepy spirit must have been a stowaway with that crated Chevy big block motor over there, the one that got delivered here while we was gone on assignment!! I ordered it from a questionable speed shop operation that's been recently rumored to harbor some spirits from the darkside in their shipping department. I should have known better than to purchase any speed goodies from them!!!"...

"Aw, c'mon guys," says Maria in an obvious attempt of try to comfort her cohorts, "I'll make us some of my soothing celestial tea-- and a strong black coffee for Fred, 'cause we all know that Fred doesn't like tea."... Our do-gooders then walk into the kitchen lounge, and sit down, as Maria begins brewing tea and coffee at the counter... Larry reaches for some Lorna Doone cookies for dunking in his tea, and speaks with steadfast seriousness, "I'll bet you that whatever that dark shadow creature actually is, he, she, or it, is probably still here hiding somewhere."... THEN A LOUD AND GHASTLY HOWL REVERBERATES FROM THE ADJOINING DYNO ROOM!!!... "WWWHAT IS IT?!?!?" screams Maria as she nervously spills a tray of hot tea all over Larry's prized Lorna Doone cookies... "THIS IS SERIOUS!!!" shouts an unsettled Sebastian as everyone stares at the ghoulish entity, "THIS IS EASILY THE MOST VICIOUS BEAST TO EVER INVADE OUR HEADQUARTER BASE!!!!"... "HE JUST SLIPPED LARRY'S REPORT PAPERS INTO A SEETHING SLIT LOCATED ON THE TOP OF HIS HORRIFYING HEAD!!!" squawks a petrified Peter The Parrot... "NOW ALL YOUR PLANS TO FIGHT MY ASSOCIATES OF THE DARKSIDE ARE ENTERED INTO MY BRAIN'S ORIFICE!!!!-- AND I WILL NOW RETURN TO MY LEWD LEADERS,  AND PLOT THE DEMISE OF YOU GEEKY GEARHEAD DO-GOODERS!!!" shouts the imposing creature with incredibly amplified vocal ambiguity!!!... "YOU ARE NOT  ESCAPING HERE WITH ALL THAT VALUABLE INFORMATION!!!" responds Sebastian as he metaphysically morphs into 'Phantom' mode, "I'LL STOP YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I EVER DO!!!!"....

 

 Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Just when our gang thought returning home after a tough mission would result in some peaceful rest and relaxation time, they find an eerie entity from the darkside invading their space!! Fred The Wrench seems to believe the creepy creature arrived as a stowaway in a crated motor package that was delivered while our crew were gone working in the field. And the fact that the sinister being swiped Larry Lamb's newest 'goals and aspirations report', means that if that information gets in the hands of the drag racing afterlife's darkside, there's going to be plenty of of trouble for our group!!! CAN THE CREATURE BE STOPPED?!?!? THIS IS SO DARN DANGEROUS OF A SITUATION THAT WE FEAR IF SEBASTIAN DOES TRY HIS BEST TO STOP THE ENTITY, IT COULD INDEED BE "THE LAST THING HE'LL EVER DO"!!!!...  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.