Please meet Drag Racing Underground's brand new NHRA race-winner-predicting-duo from Calabasas, California. We'd like to introduce Mike & Barbara. They're a modern professional couple of who have developed a fondness for drag racing, and have asked that we give them a shot at making race predictions. They persistently insisted to us that they have what it takes to get the job done. They claim that unlike Franky & Felicia, our regular drag racing prognosticators, they're capable of making their picks with educated reasoning and intelligent research, and they promise not to digress into the kind of self-centered, off-topic "babbling tangents" that Franky & Felicia have become so famous (or infamous) for. At this point, we believe we'll be alternating between Mike & Barbara and Franky & Felicia for this beginning of the 2017 season. Franky & Felicia will be assigned to predict the winners for the NHRA Arizona Nationals later this month. Please send us your opinion of whether you prefer the new Mike & Barbara, or if you rather see Franky & Felicia remain as our steady NHRA predictors, by simply using the 'Contact Us' link at the top of this page... Without further ado, we proudly present to you Mike & Barbara and their NHRA predictions...
Mike: Hello there drag racing people. My life partner, Barbara, and I, are genuinely enthused about giving you our picks for this weekend's 57th annual Circle K NHRA Winternationals, being held in sunny Pomona, California. Barbara and I regularly attend invitation-only wine tastings in Pomona, so we're familiar with the geography. Unlike Franky & Felicia, with their less than sophisticated thirst for cheap pineapple flavored wine coolers, Barbara and I have a more affluent collective mindset, directed towards the finer things in life. We promise that you won't hear us constantly talking about ourselves, or discussing such trite matters as Billy Joel karaoke nights at the corner dive bar, or getting loaded on cheap domestic beer at a Mets game, you know, the kind of rubbish that Franky & Felicia persistently bombard you with. We're going to stay focused on presenting you with well-thought picks for the NHRA races that are based on hard facts and intense research. Please pull up an ergonomically comfortable chair, and read what Barbara and I have to say to you regarding the NHRA drag racing scheduled for this weekend.
Barbara: I do like that way you opened our debut appearance here at Drag Racing Underground, Mike. I promise, that unlike Felicia, you won't hear me talking about my trips to the bargain basement nail salons, or the kind of trivial banter you've come to tolerate from that cheesy harlot. My Top Fuel pick is for multi-time NHRA world champion Antron Brown. My research shows that Antron and his Matco Tools team are a reasonably strong pick to reach the winner's circle for the first national event of the 2017 NHRA season.
Mike: I respectfully disagree, Barbara. As I studied the stats through the wee hours of the night, I came to the conclusion that Leah Pritchett is clearly capable of walking away with the 'Wally' for this weekend's Winternationals. During a recent testing session in Arizona, she recorded the quickest unofficial pass in NHRA history. She's a somewhat charming lady who knows her way down the drag strip. And with new sponsorship funding from a popular pizza franchise, Leah and her team should prove most competitive at Pomona.
Barbara: While your reasoning sounds solid, we'll have to agree to disagree on our Top Fuel picks, Mike. My Funny Car pick is for Ronald Capps. He and his NAPA team were able to finally win a long overdue NHRA championship last season, and I believe they'll hold on to that strong momentum, and go subsequent rounds to victory during this first weekend of formal racing competition.
Mike: You certainly make good points in your Funny Car pick, Barbara. However, I'm leaning towards seeing Courtney Force dominating the Pomona field. Much like Leah Pritchett, Courtney also performed exceptionally well during the recent nitro testing session in Arizona. Courtney ran the quickest unofficial pass in NHRA Funny Car history. Her team of strapping good chums will tune her Advance Auto Parts Chevrolet Camaro SS to earn the Winternationals win.
Barbara: Time will tell, dear. After my lengthy review of the designated racers, Courtney Force doesn't impress me quite as much as Ronald Capps does for this particular motorsport contest. For the debut race of NHRA's 2017 season, I'm making a relatively conservative pick in Pro Stock. I say that with Shane Gray stepping graciously back into the Gray family's Camaro, he's going to get the right kind of "set-up" as they call it, and he will completely monopolize the so-called 'factory hot rod' contingent.
Mike: I beg to differ, dearest. I don't believe that Shane Gray is as "conservative" of a pick as you may have been lead to believe. For my Pro Stock pick, I'm choosing Erica Enders. Granted, I'm well aware that Franky used to pick her to win with reckless and ridiculous frequency last season, and she had a less than stellar performance record for 2016, and I certainly don't want readers to think that I'd ever take a guy like Franky's lead when making my far more educated picks-- BUT, with Erica now returning to the cockpit of her winning Chevy Camaro, and doing away with her losing ride of last year, I believe she'll be making a statement by clinching this weekend's Winternationals. This 'elite' drag racing prognosticator believes that Erica and the 'Elite Motorsports' team are destined for success.
Barbara: I certainly hope that the readers prefer us to those terribly tacky Franky & Felicia characters, Mike.
Mike: Of course they will, Barbara-- Of course they will, my dear. We're so charming and rip-roaring respectable!