FRANKY & FELICIA PICK THE WINNERS FOR THIS WEEKEND'S NHRA THUNDER VALLEY NATIONALS IN BRISTOL, TENNESSEE...

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Please meet Drag Racing Underground's NHRA race-winner-predicting-duo from Queens, New York. We'd like to introduce Franky & Felicia. They're a couple of sweethearts who have a love for drag racing, and have asked that we give them a shot at making race predictions. They persistently insisted to us that they have what it takes to get the job done. We're continuing to bring them to you now for their third season!! They definitely were not without controversy during their first two seasons!!... Feel free to send us your opinion of them by using the "Contact Us" link at the top of this page... For those of you missing Mike & Barbara, we regret to report that they've been cancelled... Without further ado, we proudly present to you Franky & Felicia and their NHRA predictions...


Franky: Yo! Me and my hot little lady are stoked 'bout giving youse our picks for this weekend's NHRA Thunder Valley Nationals at Bristol Dragway in Bristol, Tennessee. Ya know, Tennessee is one of my favorite states outside of New Yawk. When I was a little kid, my whole family made the long drive from New York to Tennessee, 'cause my cousin Wilbur was in some kind of big banjo playing competition. We was supposed to show family support, but my aunt threw a stale turkey biscuit at my mother and we wound up driving home before the contest even started. It's a long story that I ain't necessarily sure I wanna tell. I got in some trouble again last night during Billy Joel karaoke at the local bar, some heckler started yelling at me, making fun of my METS t-shirt. I don't want to go into the details of that story neither.  I dunno-- I just can't stand when people crack wise about the NY METS-- I get really peeved off! Anyways, whatever, whatever. Pull up a chair and read what me and Felicia got to say to youse 'bout the NHRA drag racing in Bristol, Tennessee this weekend!

Felicia: Right on, Franky, you gorgeous hunk of a man! I thoughts you sez you wasn't gonna talk about the New Yawk Mets? I know you promised that you wasn't going to talk about The Mets as much this season, like ya did last season! Drag Racing Underground will be gettin' lots of emails again from all the people complaining about you talkin' 'bout the Mets on this DRAG RACING web page! My Bristol Top Fuel pick is for Chesterfield, NJ native Antron Brown. I really wanted to see the Jersey boy win at his old Jersey drag strip last weekend during the Summernationals-- But he had to settle for runner up to Steve Torrence. Me and Franky get mad when we see Steve Torrence wearing a NY Yankees cap at E'Town, doesn't he know that all us hardcore baseball peoples in this neck of the woods are diehard METS fans?!? Watch Antron Brown and his Matco Tools digger set this weekend on fire in Tennessee.

Franky: No way is Antron Brown gonna win at Bristol.  And I don't mean any offense to all the Antron Brown fans out there in cyberland, but give me a friggin' break. I know you think he's a shoo-in 'cause he's a three time world champ and all that, but I ain't seein' dat happen, dollface. I'm going with Brittany Force and her Monster Energy dragster. I was jumping up and down when she finally won her first event of the year, two Sundays ago at Epping, New Hampshire, not to mention the fact that she beat your pick for this week, Felicia, Antron Brown, in the final New England round. I know that everyone is gonna send me wisecracking emails for picking Brittany again. So many clowns like calling me a "fanboy" for frequently picking the highly funded Force girls, but who cares? I'm really feeling that Brittany and her crack crew are gonna dispense some serious whoop ass on the tough Thunder Valley field!

Felicia: That sounds corny, Franky. It don't sound like you, using that old tired 'whoop ass' expression?? I thinks maybe you're being coached what to say again by that cockeyed blowhard cousin Enzo of yours from Jersey?!?... I thinks your desire to pick Brittany Force is a form of blinded prognostication. And you must  know that Brittany only beat Antron in Epping by less than a fraction of a thin slice of a hair-- she just got lucky in my opinion. My pick for Funny Car at the Thunder Valley Nationals is "Fast" Jack Beckman. His "Infinite Hero Foundation" crew seem to have got their combo dialed in pretty sweet with their big Englishtown win last week. Beckman might even have enough mojo to give "Flappin' Gums" Capps a run for the championship. Look how he showed Capps a brutal lesson at E'Town!!  I gots that feeling in my belly that Beckman and his gang are gonna get the job done, unless of course, that feeling in my belly is from last night's funky onion dip at our Billy Joel Queens NY chapter fan club party??

Franky: Fugget about "Fast" Jack Beckman he's not the racer I see making headlines this weekend. I respect the guy, BUT the Thunder Valley Nationals ain't gonna be his race by any stretch of your overactive imagination, my fragrant Felicia. My crystal ball is showing me images of Courtney Force in the Bristol Funny Car winner's circle. I was bummed out that she didn't make it to the E'Town winner's circle last weekend. She's a strong broad and always qualifying at the top of the field. Sure, I'll get called a "fanboy" 'cause of me pickin' a celeb like Courtney, but I don't care. I gots thick skin just like my hero Billy Joel. I'm  predicting Courtney's bark to be just as vicious as her bite and that she'll be making some Funny Car history this weekend!

Felicia: Ya know, I hates to say dis, Franky, but I just don't thinks Courtney is going to be all that for this coming NHRA  Bristol event. Sorry 'bout dat, even though I admire her for handling a nitro car wit da best of 'em, I don't see her winning in Tennesse. And I thinks you got that whole bite and bark thing backwards... Ya know, I get a lot of flack from many of you readers about me always talkin' 'bout myself, likes I ain't supposed to talk about myself?!? Geeeez, what kinda fun can a gal have if she ain't talkin' 'bout herself?!? Many of you smarty pants complain about me to management, 'cause you thinks I'm nothin' but a crazy bird from Queens. Whatever... For this weekend's race, I'm making me a Pro Stock pick that I've made in the past, it seems quite frequently that I get an itch on my shoulder to pick 2nd generation sensation Vincent Nobile for Pro Stock. I like guys from Dix Hills, New Yawk, that town ain't too far away of a drive from our stomping grounds. I think Nobile and his Mountainview Tire Camaro were just about unstoppable in Englishtown, of course until "Mr. Smarty Pants" Greg Anderson stopped him in the final round. Last week Nobile was runner up, this weekend I promise that he's gonna be your celebrated winner. I believe Nobile and crew are gonna turn on the heavy, honeybuns!

Franky: I don't agree, sweetcakes. I thinks you're delusional with that Pro Stock pick. I realize that Vincent Nobile is one tough doorslammin' guy, and I like the fact that he's sorta from our neck of the woods, but I'm just not feelin' him as hitting a winning note at Bristol. Once again, I'm stickin' to my guns, staying loyal, and betting all my jollyrocks on Erica Enders. I'm still psyched about Erica's win at Epping. She proved that ya gotta believe! I know that she wasn't  setting the world on fire last season, but I still gots to believe that she's got her old winning swagger back at the wheel of her Chevy Camaro.  Her reaction times are still fierce.  And yeah, I can see all the hate mail coming my way now. All the haters who call me a "fanboy" because I still root for Erica, they gets me madder than Billy Joel driving his car through a Long Island pizzeria's window!! Erica Enders is a serious racer when she's out on the track, she sort of reminds me of how you get, Felicia, when you're playing tiddly-winks with those wise-cracking kids down at the Queens Borough Youth Recreation Center. You get that really intense game face of yours going on just like Erica does when she's driving.

Felicia: I hopes we did good, honey.

Franky: We picked 'em, babe. 'Cause we're a couple of classy winners who know how to pick da winners.