FRANKY & FELICIA PICK THE WINNERS FOR THE NHRA HEARTLAND NATIONALS IN TOPEKA, KANSAS...

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Please meet Drag Racing Underground's NHRA race-winner-predicting-duo from Queens, New York. We'd like to introduce Franky & Felicia. They're a couple of sweethearts who have a love for drag racing, and have asked that we give them a shot at making race predictions. They persistently insisted to us that they have what it takes to get the job done. We're continuing to bring them to you now for their third season!! They definitely were not without controversy during their first two seasons!!... Feel free to send us your opinion of them by using the "Contact Us" link at the top of this page... For those of you missing Mike & Barbara, we regret to report that they've been cancelled... Without further ado, we proudly present to you Franky & Felicia and their NHRA predictions...


Franky: Yo! Me and my hot little lady are stoked 'bout giving youse our picks for this weekend's Menards Oil NHRA Heartland Nationals presented by Minties, at  Heartland Park in Topeka, Kansas, one of my favorite states outside of New Yawk. I've only been to Kansas once in my life, when I was in my early teens, and my family drove out there because my mom was looking to buy what was advertised in the back of the National Enquirer or one of them shopping center newspapers, as the original ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz or something like that, but when we got there the local cops said it was a scam to rip off stupid people, of course there's no way they could have thought we was all stupid, after all, we was wearin' our METS caps and jackets. We sure love our METS and performing Billy Joel karaoke.  And yeah, as most of you have probably already guessed, I'm still riding an emotional roller coaster as the METS drama is kicking in this season. They're my favorite baseball team in all da world. Anyways, whatever, whatever. Pull up a chair and read what me and Felicia got to say to youse 'bout the NHRA drag racing in Topeka this weekend!

Felicia: Right on, Franky, you gorgeous hunk of a man! I thoughts you sez you wasn't gonna talk about the New Yawk Mets? I know you promised that you wasn't going to talk about The Mets as much this season, like ya did last season! Drag Racing Underground will be gettin' lots of emails again from all the people complaining about you talkin' 'bout the Mets on this DRAG RACING web page! My Top Fuel pick for the Heartland Nationals is Steve Torrence. He's towing-in to Topeka looking for three straight NHRA national event victories after back to back wins in Charlotte and Atlanta. I know Franky ain't that sweet on Steve Torrence because he's been seen wearing a Yankees cap at last year's Summernationals in Englishtown, and my man is all METS all the time, not them Yankees-- Franky don't like the NY Yankees that much, ya know...

Franky: No way is Steve Torrence gonna win in Topeka, Kansas.  And I don't mean any offense to all the Steve Torrence fans out there in cyberland, but give me a friggin' break. I know you think he's a shoe-in 'cause he's won two in a row, but any guy who would wear a Yankeees cap instead of a METS cap gets my goat!  I'm going with Brittany Force and her team's Monster Energy dragster. Her crew is working like crazy to get her winning. I know that everyone is gonna send me wisecracking emails for picking Brittany. So many clowns like calling me a "fanboy" for frequently picking the highly funded Force girls, but who cares? I'm really feeling that Brittany and her crack crew are gonna dispense some serious whoop ass on the tough Topeka field!

Felicia: That sounds corny, Franky. It don't sound like you, using that old tired 'whoop ass' expression?? I thinks maybe you're being coached what to say again by that cockeyed blowhard cousin Enzo of yours from Jersey?!?... I thinks your desire to pick Brittany Force is blinded prognostication. I know Brittany might surprise everyone, but, eh, I dunno, not dis weekend, baby. For my Heartland Nationals Funny Car pick, I'm gonna go for who my pesky critics might refer to as somewhat of a 'longshot'. I'm predicting that Bob Tasca III and his Ford Mustang are gonna be makin' some brutal drag racin' moves on the Topeka asphalt. With the financial help from the Gary Crossley Ford dealership there's some hope I thinks. I gots that feeling in my belly that Bob Tasca III and crew are gonna get the job done, unless of course, that feeling in my belly is from last night's funky onion dip at our Billy Joel Queens NY chapter fan club party??

Franky: Fugget about Bob Tasca III he's not the racer I see making headlines this weekend. I respect the guy, BUT the Heartland Nationals ain't gonna be his race by any stretch of your overactive imagination, my fragrant Felicia. My crystal ball is doing what it usually doesn't ever do, it's zooming in on the face of Funny Car racer Ron Capps. He's usually your pick, Felicia-- but this rare time he's mine. Capps is  gonna unleash on the competition and give 'em a pounding with the NAPA  flopper! Don't forget that he's taken over the points lead and has won three straight races! Sure, I'll get called a "fanboy" 'cause of me pickin' a celeb gum-flapper like Capps, who has just won three back to back, but I don't care. I gots thick skin just like my hero Billy Joel. I'm  predicting Capp's bark to be just as vicious as his bite and that he'll be making some Funny Car history this weekend!

Felicia: Ya know, I hates to say dis, Franky, but I just don't thinks Capps is going to be all that for this coming NHRA  Topeka event. Sorry 'bout dat, even though I've been picking him kinda frequently this season.  And I thinks you got that whole bite and bark thing backwards... Ya know, I get a lot of flack from many of you readers about me always talkin' 'bout myself, likes I ain't supposed to talk about myself?!? Geeeez, what kinda fun can a gal have if she ain't talkin' 'bout herself?!? Many of you smarty pants complain about me to management, 'cause you thinks I'm nothin' but a crazy bird from Queens. Whatever... For this weekend's race of the early NHRA  2017 season, I'm making me a Pro Stock pick that I've made in the past, every now and then I get an itch on my shoulder to pick 2nd generation sensation Vincent Nobile for Pro Stock. I like guys from Dix Hills, New Yawk, that town ain't too far away of a drive from our stomping grounds. I think Nobile and his Mountainview Tire '15 Camaro crew are gonna be unstoppable in Kansas. I believe they're gonna turn on the heavy, honeybuns!

Franky: I don't agree, sweetcakes. I thinks you're delusional with that Pro Stock pick. I realize that Vincent Nobile is one tough doorslammin' guy, and I like the fact that he's sorta from our neck of the woods, but I'm just not feelin' him as hitting a winning note at the Heartland Nationals. Once again, I'm stickin' to my guns, staying loyal, and betting all my jollyrocks on Erica Enders. I know that she wasn't exactly setting the world on fire last season, but I still gots to believe that she's gonna be able to get her old winning swagger back at the wheel of her fast Chevy Camaro brand of 'factory hot rod'-- It's so much better than the Mopar she was campaigning last year.  And yeah, I can see all the hate mail coming my way now. All the haters who call me a "fanboy" because I still root for Erica, they gets me madder than Billy Joel driving his car through a Long Island pizzeria's window!! Erica Enders is a serious racer when she's out on the track, she sort of reminds me of how you get, Felicia, when you're playing hopscotch with those wise-cracking kids down at the Queens Borough Youth Recreation Center. You get that really intense game face of yours going on just like Erica does when she's driving.

Felicia: I hopes we did good, honey.

Franky: We picked 'em, babe. 'Cause we're a couple of classy winners who know how to pick da winners.