TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... 'MANTIS' THE DRAG RACING DARKSIDE'S CLUTCH GUY SEEKS ASYLUM WITH OUR TEAM OF DO-GOODERS?!?...

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Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are at their residence racing compound/headquarters, after returning home from yet another mission of paranormal hot-rod motoring mayhem, assigned by their superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. Our group just finished up a casual meeting at the kitchen table, where leader Larry Lamb firmly stated that he wants his subordinates to work on improving their tactical supernatural skills, he then lightened up a bit and congratulated Maria on being a winner in her very first bout of on-track drag racing competition... Maria leaves the team's post-mission kitchen meeting, and starts walking to her quarters... Moments later, the guys hear Maria shouting "AAAARRRH!!! THERE'S SOMETHING FROM THE DARKSIDE UNDER MY BED!!!! IT'S A GRUESOME MINIATURE-SIZED LIFE FORM, ER, AFTERLIFE FORM THAT I'VE NEVER, EVER SEEN BEFORE!!!!"... Rattled by Maria's cry for help, as well as a hideous gurgling sound emanating from the unwelcome intruder, the guys make a mad dash to Maria's quarters... Larry Lamb liberally sprinkles a defensive 'fairy dust' all over the threatening scaled-down gearhead ghoul!!...

The small creature loses its aggressive angst as the defensive fairy dust starts to affect its psyche and cosmic behavior thought patterns. The eerie apparition is now relatively calm and complacent, though oozing some kind of foul ectoplasm from beneath an old school drag racing respirator mask that it's wearing. Sebastian yanks the mask off its head... "I recognize that little twerp!!" blurts Fred The Wrench "His name is Mantis!! He's a clutch ghoul and bottom-end guy for the darkside's Funny Car fleet operations!"... "That's right, Freddy-boy!" gurgles Mantis, "I came here just wanting to borrow some tools -- that's all!"... "Yeah, right!" replies Fred "You don't expect us to believe that crock!?! You scared Maria out of her skin!"... "He sure did!" concurs Maria "Mantis is certainly an appropriate name for this little monster, because his head looks like a praying mantis!"... "You got a problem with that?!?" Mantis gurgles... "Yes, as a matter of fact I do," replies Maria in a sharp tone, "don't praying mantises eat each other's heads and do gross stuff like that??"... "Only the females do that sick stuff!" gurgles Mantis, "I'm a man!!"... "Ahem," interjects Larry Lamb, clearing this throat to command attention, "So, what are we to do with this oddball intruder from the drag racing afterlife's darkside? He's a strange mix of insipid interspecies creation. I don't know if we can believe ANYTHING he tells us?"...

"Look, I'll come clean," Mantis says "I arrived here yesterday, but you do-gooders weren't here, so, I crawled in through one of the exterior vents."...  Mantis then switches to a more subdued gurgling  "I came here looking for political and moral afterlife asylum. I defected from the Darkside Drag Racing Association, because I could no longer bring myself to perform the disgraceful drag racing related tasks they kept constantly assigning me! I swear!!"... "Hmm," squawks Peter The Parrot, "call me crazy, but I think I might actually believe the guy -- and ya know, I sure wouldn't mind having another friend around here that's more my size."... "Let's put Mantis inside the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule," interjects Larry Lamb "and then diligently question his intentions."... "That's a smart next step, boss." says Sebastian "Then we'll see if his so-called 'seeking asylum' story is true or false."... Maria speaks, "Yeah, I agree, that's a wise next step in deciphering what this little Mantis creature's intentions really are."...

Larry Lamb motions for everyone to follow him out of Maria's quarters, and enter a special soundproof room that houses the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule... "Step inside the transparent capsule, Mantis," instructs Larry Lamb  "and sit yourself down on the chair."... "Uh, I'm too short to climb up on that chair." gurgles Mantis... Sebastian provides Mantis with a helpful boost up on the chair and then closes the capsule's door, though not without some of Mantis' bubbling, oozing, sticky ectoplasm getting all over his hands... "Ewwww" says Maria seeing the ooze on Sebastian "What is that stuff?!?"... "Ah, don't worry about that." says Mantis, now seated in the enclosed transparent capsule "That ooze is completely harmless, it's actually an organic traction compound ingredient, that quite frankly doesn't even work that well."... Sebastian grabs some paper towels and GoJo and cleans the strange, slimy ooze off of himself..

"Alright," says Larry Lamb with stern authority in his voice "Let the questioning and interrogation begin."... Larry works a remote operating console, flipping a couple switches that jump-start and activate power for the telepathic lie detector indicator capsule... "First question," Larry says into a wireless and gravity-defying microphone device "Are your intentions that of a covert hostile darkside operative?"... "No!" gurlges Mantis in a borderline robotic manner, as if the capsule in which he's enclosed, is creating a metaphysical aura around him, promoting forced truthful disclosure... Everyone looks on, somewhat relieved, to now know that Mantis appears to be at least somewhat on the up and up -- so far... "Second question," Larry dictates "Have you come to us in order to use either sorcery or supernatural strategies to attain our team's secret engine tuning tips?"... "Don't flatter yourself, or Fred The Wrench," Mantis gurgles "I've been around the block. I can hold my own with a wrench. I wasn't looking to gain any engine-tuning intelligence from you do-gooders! That's absurd!"... "Humph!" blurts out Fred The Wrench "Ain't this truth capsule thing supposed to humble the one being interrogated??"... Maria giggles at Fred's remark...

"Third question," continues Larry Lamb "In all your years of performing as a darkside, drag racing afterlife deity subordinate, is it true, as you've claimed earlier, that you indeed found yourself morally and ethically uncomfortable when ordered to perform evil tasks assigned to you by your darkside superiors?"... "YEESSS! YEESSS!" gurgles Mantis with conviction "MY SUPERIORS COMPLETELY FOCUSED THEIR EFFORTS ON CORRUPTING MY SUPERNATURAL SUBCONSCIOUS, IN AN ATTEMPT TO  MAKE ME A SHAMELESS CREW MEMBER WITH NO MORAL COMPASS WHATSOEVER!!! AND EVEN WORSE, THEY THEN WERE GHOULISHLY GROOMING ME TO GET INTO POLITICS!!!"... "Politics???" questions Larry Lamb... "YEESSS! POLITICS!!" gurgles back Mantis with high anxiety  "THEY WANTED TO REMOVE ME FROM MY CLUTCH AND BOTTOM END PIT DUTIES AT THE DRAG STRIP, AND HAVE ME RUN AS THEIR PUPPET STOOGE FOR THE OPPRESSIVE PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE AMONG THE DARKSIDE DRAG RACING ASSOCIATION'S GROTESQUE GOVERNING BODY!!!!!"... "Hmmm," says Larry Lamb, "evidently, Mantis seemed to believe that making the move from wrenching at the strip, to being transformed into a darkside politician would be a fate worse than being dunked in boiling oil?!?"... "Well," says Fred The Wrench, "If that's truly the case, as it appears to be from him sittin' in dat truth capsule, that's one quality and trait of integrity about the little freak that I can genuinely respect."... Maria once again giggles at Fred The Wrench's blunt frankness... "Ahem, fourth and FINAL question..." interjects a still conservatively skeptical and cautiously wary Larry Lamb, while trying to maintain a stern, poker-faced interrogating manner...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  What will Larry Lamb's fourth and FINAL question be?!?  What will Larry's 'Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule' interrogation ultimately reveal about Mantis' intentions???-- WHAT WILL LARRY'S LAST QUESTION AND MANTIS' ANSWER TELL US ABOUT THE PINT-SIZED INSECT-HEADED APPARITION FROM THE DRAG RACING AFTERLIFE'S DARKSIDE?!??  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.