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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She speaks the TRUTH!!... Nobody else on the web possesses the ability to speak the Truth, and 'TELL IT LIKE IT REALLY IS' the way she does!!-- Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media-- Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's Blog gives you a daily does of TRUTH and REALITY with HEART... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page NOW!!-- Be sure YOU check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

FEEDBACK FRIDAY... AND REST IN PEACE NORMAN HECHTKOFF...

Posted by: lovely

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Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog announcing March is MENTAL HEALTH MONTH in the drag racing community resulted in many of you writing in. Matty from Petersburg. VA said, "I've been battling depression and mental illness most of my life. Please thank the Doc lady for bringing attention to this problem that is no fault of my own."-- Fran from Gustine, TX wrote, "Mental heath is just as important to well being as physical health. Doc is my hero for having the sense to talk about it."... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Lionel from all the way in Huddersfield, UK  said, "Tech inspector Blowfish Billy is a nasty nautical character who cracks me up"-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "I hope the crew take their 1964 Plymouth Belvedere to Super Stock victory!"-- Thanks to all of you Phantom Racer fans who wrote in this week... My blog featuring a photo of me standing next to American revolutionary Thomas Paine during my recent trip to historic Bordentown, to visit my old music biz friend Matt Pinfield had Lisa from Keyport, NY chime in, "I'm a fan of Big Stick and Matt Pinfield. You are both local living legends who put the music first."-- Clara from Minneapolis, MN said, "Going to get a copy of Pinfield's new book and one of them new Big Stick records as soon as you release it!"... My blog advising readers to telepathically send good thoughts and prayers the way of old friend Joe Jacono, who is having health issues, inspired Butch from Davenport, IA to say, "The Rollin Stoned Funny Car was my favorite as a kid. I hope Joe gets better."...  Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Marisa from Clark, NJ in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "Marvin needs to leave innocent cyber surfers alone!"... Substitute Stephanie's blog informing folks that E'Town's OLD TIME DRAGS is scheduled for Sunday July 23rd caused Kevin from Highland Park, NJ to say, "The OLD TIME DRAGS is the one race I never miss."... On a more somber note,  I feel compelled to mention that I just caught word of old friend (though we've certainly had our squabbles over time) Norman Hechtkoff passing away. Many years ago Norman sat in the DRU tent with me at Raceway Park during a nighttime event, and he told me his entire life story, including his often difficult childhood and tough path as a young man-- We both shed tears that evening. Norman even went to one of my Big Stick concerts in New York City once. I've always had a soft spot for Norman, even though we didn't necessarily always agree with each other concerning some drag racing related issues. I hope that Norman gets the peace he deserves in the afterlife. Despite his occasional grouchy disposition, I sort of understood why he was that way from our long talk at the drags that night. May Norman Hechtkoff Rest in Peace. Ease your spirit, Norman, and let the light of all that is good in this universe set your soul free... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


MARCH IS MENTAL HEALTH MONTH IN THE DRAG RACING COMMUNITY...

Posted by: lovely

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Today we're officially launching an important public service campaign here at Drag Racing Underground. March is now officially Mental Health Month for both the national and international drag racing community. This is a campaign that we first initiated in 2016, and we figure that since it was such a huge success last year, we're bringing it back for 2017. March is a month to begin reaching out to those in the drag racing community who are dealing with debilitating issues related to mental health. Public awareness of this all-too-often ignored issue (or "swept under the rug" issue to be more direct and blunt) is absolutely necessary in order to aggressively take on this ongoing problem, and collectively work in a positive direction to make it better. We all need to show supportive concern for those individuals battling mental health related issues, and we also need to be supportive of their family members, who are affected by the so-called "rippling effect" the illness frequently incurs within the family unit. Openly moving towards understanding and properly treating mental illness can only strengthen the collective spirit and intertwining relationship bonds among us all. There needs to be an intellectual dialogue about this subject in our drag racing community, and not just one month out of the year. Mental Health needs to be respectfully addressed all year long. And we need to exercise a far more benevolent approach to dealing with those afflicted with mental illness. We need to aggressively seek out the resources necessary to make a difference. It's my opinion that most drag racing folks are generally good people, and I'm hopeful that this message will resonate among our community and have a positive impact. And I can guarantee you that if we tackle the issue of mental health in the drag racing world, it will have long range benefits in curbing the ugly epidemic of online bullying that we see on the drag racing internet, because all the mental health experts that I've spoken to over the years, strongly agree that most people who persistently bully on the internet do indeed suffer from some form of mild to severe mental illness. Talk about it with your family and peers. Get comfortable discussing mental health. C'mon, let's do this!!!...

 

 

Drag Racing Underground announces March is now officially Mental Health Month in the drag racing community


 

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were home at their heavenly living compound & racing operations base... "I've received our next assignment from the execs at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association." said leader Larry Lamb, "We're going to time travel to a Super Stock event situated in the 1960s."... "Alright!!" exclaimed an enthused Fred The Wrench, "I love working my mechanical skills on the Stockers!"... "What's the purpose of this mission?" squawked Peter The Parrot... Larry replied "We're supposed to snoop around to investigate if a drag strip is actually a corrupt front for a sinister seafood operation, that gets all its product by illegally poaching from legitimate, honest, hardworking  fishermen."... "Are we going to some strip located along a coastline for this assignment?" inquired Maria... "Yes, Maria," replied Larry, "somewhere in the New England area, though it's in a obscure parallel universe of the drag racing afterlife."... "I hate poachers!!" blurts Fred, "They steal from those who do their business legitimately."...  "This should certainly prove to be an interesting and challenging mission" said Sebastian, "And I look forward to getting back in the driver's seat."...

"We're assigned to break up a suspected seafood poaching operation that's using a drag strip as a business front." states Larry Lamb with authority.... "Gotcha, boss." says Fred The Wrench, "I'll go find a vintage Stocker we can teleport with us to the track."... "Good, Fred." replies Larry Lamb, "The rest of you, get yourselves prepared in wardrobe and accessories to teleport to the mid-1960s metaphysical time frame"... "YES, SIR!!" collectively responds our do-gooder crew, as they then scatter about and start hustling to gather up all the things they'll need for their assigned mission... About 15 minutes elapses, Fred and Peter push a blue  '64 aluminum hemi Plymouth Belvedere to the compound's teleportation station, as the rest of the crew also step into the teleportation station and ready to time travel through the celestial sauce of the drag racing afterlife to their new assignment... Larry Lamb activates dials on the teleportation station's control panel and commences countdown "5-4-3-2-1!!"... Then in a flash of bright magenta light, our gang and the Super Stock Plymouth Belvedere dissolve in molecular matter and subsequently materialize in a discreet blind spot, out of general view, behind an alternative dimension's New England drag strip's souvenir stand...

"This place smells weird." says Sebastian, "There's a strong scent of burning rubber mixed with a barrage of various seafood smells."... "Ah," replies Larry Lamb, "perhaps that's our very first clue that there's something 'fishy' going on around here-- pun intended of course!"... "Well, let's get our car to tech inspection and do what we must to get race ready" blurts Fred The Wrench... "I'm glad I wore my straight-leg double-stitch dungarees" interjects Maria, "I seem to fit in just right with what the other gals are wearing here at this strip."... Our crew arrive in line at the track's tech booth, among a bevy of staunch looking Stockers. A rotund and sloppy track official who reeks of low-tide odors approaches our team, "Hey, I ain't ever seen you folks here before. My name's Blowfish Billy, 'cause as you can plainly see, my face kinda resembles a blowfish. I'm the tech inspector. That's quite a sharp looking Belvedere race car you strangers brought with you."... "Uh, yeah, thanks." says Fred The Wrench with apprehension... As the clam-scented cretin who calls himself 'Blowfish Billy' gives the car a once over, it's quickly apparent that Billy's pant pockets are filled with soggy clams and oysters...

"So, my dear man," Larry Lamb politely addresses Billy, "I can't help notice that your pockets are stuffed with what appears to be an ample surplus of seafood."... "What's it to ya?" comes back Blowfish Billy in a less than cordial, even somewhat suspicious manner... "Oh, I don't know," replies Larry, in an attempt to sound naive and unassuming, "we might possibly be interested in purchasing some seafood to bring home and cook up after we win this race."... Blowfish Billy has his head inspecting under the hood of the Belvedere, and then peers directly into Larry Lamb's eyes and says, "Win this race?? Maybe you out-of towners best focus your efforts on trying to go some rounds first, before you think you're gonna win this event!! And put the idea of anything to do with seafood out of your busybody, nosy minds for now, especially you, you woolly-faced lamb of a man!! The Super Stock competition around here can be tough! And I can guarantee you that the other regular  racers and track personal here don't necessarily take very kindly to outsiders and strangers like yourselves!!!"... "Okay, okay." replies a perplexed Larry Lamb, "I get it. You don't take very kindly to newbies around here, Billy."... "That's dang right!!" Blowfish Billy says as a tinge of anger slants his brow, then he adds, "Your car looks alright. It'll pass tech inspection today. I strongly suggest you all get it up to the staging lanes right now and make a time shot, because first round starts in less than an hour. And mind your own darn business if you make conversation with any of the locals!!! Nobody much appreciates curious snoopers asking questions!!!! Understand?!?!"...

 

 Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Tech inspector Blowfish Billy has made it clear that the folks at this New England track located in an obscure parallel universe, don't take very kindly to strangers, especially strangers who ask curious questions!! It's already become apparent that this drag strip has something to do with seafood, and quite possibly seafood that comes from an illegal poaching operation!! BUT it's also now obvious that our crew have to conduct any further snooping and investigating with careful discretion, because if they show too much of a collective inquiring mind, they might find themselves in trouble!! Will our do-gooders be able to successfully crack this case?!? Will they be able to go rounds in the Super Stock competition and win the event?!?! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


This past weekend I took a drive to Bordentown, New Jersey, to see "family"-- meaning I went to visit my old friend Matt Pinfield (we consider each other to be "family"). You might know Matt from his long stint at MTV or one of his radio gigs. Both Matt and I go back together many years, including his WRSU and WHTG radio days in Jersey. And we both generated our early "rock roots" (for lack of better words) from the same geographic proximity (we were neighbors).  Matt's got a brand new book out documenting his "Insane Improbable Rock Life", and I've got a new Big Stick album coming out this year, we swapped our respective goodies (yes, I gave Matt an advance copy of the Big Stick LP and I got a copy of his great new book). It was so good to see Matt again... That said, while in historic Bordentown, I also took the time to pose for a photo with my favorite personality of the American Revolution. There's an incredible bronze sculpture of Thomas Paine that stands in Bordentown. Paine was an English-American political activist, philosopher, political theorist, and rousing revolutionary. He authored "The Age of Reason", and was a person, somewhat like yours truly, in that he was all about enlightenment and doing what's right (especially when it came to championing the worthy cause of human rights)... I thought I'd share this whimsically enchanting photograph with you today...

 

 

Yours truly and American Revolutionary Thomas Paine enjoying each others company in historic Bordentown


THOUGHTS & PRAYERS FOR OUR OLD FRIEND JOE JACONO...

Posted by: lovely

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Today I want to ask my readers to have positive thoughts and prayers for my old friend Joe Jacono. Some folks may remember Joe as the owner/driver of the famed "Rollin' Stoned" '73 Barracuda Funny Car back in the 1970's. Joe has a long and colorful history in the sport of drag racing that predates the "Rollin' Stoned" flip-top period. Joe even drove dragsters before getting into the Funny Car scene... Right now Joe's experiencing some serious health issues in the hospital related to his heart, and he could sure use some good vibes sent in his direction. Below is a video still from several years ago, when yours truly (left) was interviewing Bob Rosetty (middle) and Joe Jacono (right) at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. This was when Rosetty convinced Joe to come out of retirement and once again drive the restored "Rollin' Stoned" at E'Town's prestigious Old Time Drags event. Let's all send Joe our telepathic good wishes. Lots of us 'round here love the guy and want to see him get better...

 

 

Yours truly, Bob Rosetty, and Joe Jacono during good times several years back at E'Town Raceway Park


THE "SUNDAY FUNNIES" THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL...

Posted by: lovely

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Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way in which blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marvin's brand of belligerent behavior often has negative consequences for the drag racing scene... Marvin aggressively seeks out internet postings by women and young folk who he deems to be 'pesky' (because they don't fit in to his preferred demographic), and tries desperately to pick apart and dissect each and every single word they typed, often claiming the facts are wrong, even if he knows that they are really right-- Anything to create a confrontation laced with lewd language and 'f bombs' is sport for Marvin (using 'f bombs' makes Marvin feel more 'macho' and like he's a 'big man')... When dorks like Marvin get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of 'debbie-downer' dingbat dissent, that fools like Marvin dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless nagging negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a 'family friendly' place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to Marvin's brand of blowhard bullying...

 

 


Today we have the trusty Stephanie substituting for The Doc. At this time Doc is either occupied with her Big Stick music related work, and/or her fine-art sculpture related responsibilities (as she will be increasingly frequently over the period of the next several months or so)... We believe that Doc will hopefully be back on the clock for Monday's edition of this popular blog installment... Of course on Sunday (tomorrow), we will be running our regularly scheduled 'SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY' feature, which I now help editorially administrate for Drag Racing Underground, each and every single weekend with the help of Doc's ever insightful guidance and oversight... Please enjoy Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day... This installment features a photograph that Doc snapped at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in scenic Englishtown, New Jersey.  We see a bold vintage "Pittman & Edwards" inspired Willys cruising through the pits at the track's prestigious OLD TIME DRAGS event.  We're happy to inform you that the date for this season's scheduling of this event, which is the longest running nostalgia drag racing event in all of America, will be coming up on Sunday July 23rd, 2017. It might be a good idea to mark this date on your calendar right now and make plans to attend. Keep in mind that the East Coast Gassers Club have become a regularly appearing attraction at this gala gearhead gathering over the years. Not to mention the fact that this is one of Doc's favorite races of the season (so that really says something about the quality of this event)...  If nostalgia racing turns you on, be sure to check out Drag Racing Underground's NOSTALGIA RAW and FUNNY CAR REUNION RAW dvds, by simply clicking on the "VIDEO CATALOG" link at the top center of the page. It's no secret that racing aficionados who are genuinely in the know, claim that Drag Racing Underground dvds are the most entertaining, enlightening and hardcore in all the entire world... 

 

 

Substitute Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day features a bold vintage Willys at E'Town's OLD TIME DRAGS event.

 


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog that was supposed to be Franky's & Felicia's 2017 season debut of their picks for this weekend's NHRA  Arizona Nationals was unfortunately cancelled, due to the couple's submission featuring far more vulgar remarks regarding Mike & Barbara, than actual drag racing related content. We are trying to alternate the picks from week to week, between Mike & Barbara, our new slightly more "sophisticated" couple, and our more "streetwise" veteran stalwarts Franky & Felicia. However, we need to convince Franky & Felicia to be more accepting of Mike & Barbara, and our new alternating scheduling between the two couples. Lots of you wrote in about this matter. Henry from Mooringsport, LA said, "I think Drag Racing Underground is giving Franky & Felicia a bum deal. I don't care if they ain't sophisticated people, because they're a **** of a lot more entertaining than those boring Mike & Barbara snobs!"-- On the other side of the opinion fence, Angie from Buckley, WA wrote, "Tell Franky & Felicia to take a hike. Mike & Barbara make more sense and don't babble about themselves like Franky & Felicia."...    Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Boris from all the way in Dominical, Costa Rica said, "Me and my brothers who work in our auto repair garage are celebrating Fred returning to wrenching!"-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "Any drag strip that fronts for an illegal seafood poaching operation needs to be shut down!"-- Thanks to all of you Phantom Racer fans who wrote in this week... My blog expressing concern for our friends in California dealing with the recent rash of horrific storms caused Jade from Thousand Oaks, CA to write, "All the flooding is wearing us down, but Doc's encouraging words gave a huge boost to our morale."... My blog advising readers that Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's prestigious OLD TIME DRAGS event in now scheduled for Sunday, July 23rd, prompted Rafael from Trenton, NJ to write, "Thank you for giving us the date for the OLD TIME DRAGS. It is my favorite race each year. I will be there with my stepson. It will be his first drag race."... Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Dapphe from Hanover, PA in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "Marvin is the typical cowardly jerk who bullies kids and women on the internet!"... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


As you may or may not be aware, there's been quite a bit of controversy surrounding the issue of our NHRA prognosticators (those who predict the winners of the national events on the NHRA tour for us here on this particular blog page)... This year we brought in Mike & Barbara, a sophisticated couple from Calabasas, California, who base their picks on studious thought and research, to alternate from race to race with our more "streetwise" standby couple from Queens, NY, Franky & Felicia. The first race of the season, two weeks ago, the NHRA Winternationals, featured Mike & Barbara, who besides making their picks, did admittedly take a few editorial jabs at the questionable social graces and character of Franky & Felicia... We had planned to give Franky & Felicia their turn to have their picks published today for this weekend's NHRA Arizona Nationals. HOWEVER, evidently the jabbing remarks that Mike & Barbara made in their Winternationals picks regarding Franky & Felicia, resulted in Franky & Felicia turning in their picks for the Arizona Nationals, riddled with countless crude and vulgar insults aimed at Mike & Barbara, as a matter of fact, Franky's & Felicia's submitted picks featured far more negative remarks about Mike & Barbara, than actual content concerning the drag race. Therefore, we've made an executive decision here at Drag Racing Underground to temporarily suspend Franky & Felicia until they cool off, and are able to provide drag racing picks that are more about drag racing, and less about slandering Mike & Barbara... We apologize to all our regular readers who were looking forward to seeing picks for the NHRA Arizona Nationals on today's blog page... Hopefully this disturbing personal matter will be rectified sooner than later...

 

 


 

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were home at their heavenly living compound & racing operations base. Fred The Wrench just recently returned from a successful solo assignment, posing undercover as a traveling celestial carpet salesman, teleported to the executive offices of the Darkside Drag Racing Association (D.D.R.A.). Evidently the brass of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association (H.D.R.A.), selected Fred, to covertly infiltrate the offices of their drag racing afterlife adversaries, in order to find out whether or not the 'cover-up' that was initiated to erase all memory of Larry Lamb paying a hefty bribe managed to stick solid among their enemy-- Fortunately, Fred managed to find out rather quickly, that the cover-up DID in fact work. As you know, Larry Lamb paid a big bribe to Druscula Fusscula, the officiator of the corrupt international world legislators, who would have banned drag racing in the year 3000, had not Larry come up with a mammoth-sized bribe to save the sport from mass extinction. The bribe weighed heavily on our group, because they never paid a bribe before. Paying the bribe caused controversy among our crew, due to what can admittedly be perceived as a morally and ethically questionable strategy...

"I''m so glad you teleported me out of the offices of that slimy Darkside Drag Racing Association when you did!!!" blurts a relieved Fred The Wrench, "It was becoming a very dire and dangerous situation!!!"..."You sure played a convincing role as a carpet salesman, Fred!" compliments Maria... "Congratulations, Fred!" says Larry Lamb, "I promise that on our next mission, no more undercover role playing for you, you'll only be playing your most favorite role of all, that of a top notch drag racing mechanic!!"... Fred The Wrench proceeds to wipe some nervous sweat off his brow, sighs, and says "That's the best darn thing I've heard you say in weeks, boss!! I've sure had enough of playing secret agent man!! I can't wait to start turning wrenches at the drag strip again!!!"... Our crew shares a warm group hug and celebrates their recent success against the dark forces of evil... "I'll make some of my special celestial tea, and we can all sit together at the kitchen table and unwind." says Maria, "And yes, Fred, I know that you don't want any of my celestial tea, you want a large cup of java, black. Right, Fred?."... "That's right, Maria. No offense to your tea brewing talents, but I do prefer black coffee." replies Fred... Everyone gets seated at the kitchen table, while Maria goes to the counter to prepare tea servings for Larry Lamb, Sebastian, Peter The Parrot and herself, and a cup of coffee for Fred...

"I've already received our next assignment from the executives at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association." says group leader Larry Lamb... "Oh really, boss?" says Sebastian, "What are we going to be doing next?"... "We're going to time travel to a Super Stock event situated in the 1960s." replies Larry... "Alright!!" exclaims an enthusiastic Fred, "I love wrenching the Stockers!"... "What's the purpose of the mission?" squawks Peter The Parrot... "We're supposed to snoop around and see if a drag strip is a corrupt front for a sinister seafood operation, that gets all its product by illegally poaching from legitimate, honest, hardworking  fishermen."... "So I assume we're going to some strip located along a coastline for this assignment?" inquires Maria as she pours tea and a coffee, and then sits down with the rest of the crew... Larry Lamb dunks a Lorna Doone cookie (his favorite kind of cookie) into his piping hot cup of tea and says, "Yes, Maria, we'll be near a shoreline in the New England area."...

"I hate poachers!!" blurts Fred, "They steal from those who try to do their business legitimately. Me and my pops used to go clamming back when I was a mortal kid on earth. Once when we were shucking clams together, I announced to my dad of my wantin' to be a racing wrench. I recall him looking me in the eye and telling me that would make him proud."... "That's a touching story, Fred." Maria says with sincerity... "I never went clamming, but me and my grandpappy used to dig for earthworms together in a bonding way." Sebastian speaks... "I feel like I'm sitting in the middle of the bait store!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "Is this turning into a fishing tale?!? If it is, I want me one of them hats with all the fishing lures pinned to it!!"... "Ya thinks I could get a pair of fishing waders??" asks Fred... "Hold on, hold on, everyone." interjects Larry with distinguished authority "We're assigned to break up a seafood poaching operation that's using a drag strip as a phony front. We're NOT going to be fishing. We're going to be competing in a Stocker event, while keeping our eyes and ears open for anything that might lead to busting up a lowlife poacher operation."... Everyone absorbs what Larry just said, and straighten up their composure, and begin procedures to embark on their first on-track drag racing assignment in months... "I hear ya, boss." says Fred, "I'll go find a vintage Stocker to bring to the track."... "Good, Fred." replies Larry Lamb, "The rest of you, get yourselves well prepared to teleport to the 1960s. I have a gut feeling that this is going to be an intense assignment that we're going to have to be on the top of our game for!!"... "YES, SIR!!" collectively responds our do-gooder crew, as they scatter about and start hustling to gather up all the things they'll need for their newly assigned metaphysical mission...

 

 Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Fred The Wrench successfully completed the covert operation of finding out whether or not the 'cover up' of the bribe incident stuck with the dark side of the drag racing afterlife. But before anyone can really catch their breath and put their feet up, it's already time to embark on another important assignment. Can this corrupt drag strip, that's allegedly a phony front for an illegal seafood poaching operation be cracked?? Will our crew be capable of busting things up and bringing law and order to the situation?? How will our gang fair in the Stocker competition??  WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.