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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She speaks the TRUTH!!... Nobody else on the web possesses the ability to speak the Truth, and 'TELL IT LIKE IT REALLY IS' the way she does!!-- Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media-- Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's Blog gives you a daily does of TRUTH and REALITY with HEART... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page NOW!!-- Be sure YOU check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were assigned by the Heavenly Drag Racing Association for a revolutionary mission of all missions -- one that finally facilitated Maria's requests to the H.D.R.A. administration, to give her the opportunity to drive a race car in competition. Sebastian was forced to watch from the sidelines for this assignment, due to this mission requiring that the team compete in the Darkside Drag Racing Association's 'Planet X Program' -- a program featuring only female drivers -- nasty gals from the darkside of the drag racing afterlife, who race and behave in dirty fiendish fashion. It's a beach dragster bikini league that subscribes to a sleazy, beatnik "beach party" culture of hedonistic depravity, while serving as one of the darkside afterlife's toughest of sand digger drag racing sanctioned competitions. It's a truly way-sinister drag racing scene!! Maria was fortunate enough to put current champ 'Dastardly Darla' on the trailer in a 'too-close-for-comfort' sand dragster duel, however, she now finds herself in a tricky situation as the race's 'after party' has kicked into a beatnik affair of hyper-sleazy metaphysically accelerating degenerating activity!!!...

 Whacked-out, weirdo beatnik music plays loudly over the track's public address system -- A rowdy party that feeds completely on depraved debauchery has ensued!! This deranged darkside 'beach party' has become too freaky for our upstanding crew to easily endure!!  'Dastardly Darla' and all the darkside girls are dancing in a lewd and tasteless manner to the blaring manic beatnik beat. All the gruesome darkside guys are panting heavily while watching the women dance about in shameful gyrating fashion... 'Dastardly Darla' yells out to Maria "Hey, Maria! For being a winner, you sure ain't a very groovy chick when it comes to celebrating!!! Get over here, chick, and start shakin' it with me and the other gals!!!"... Maria quickly decides that for the sake of the mission, she must keep up her 'low-life lady' masquerade, and join in on the sleazy, hedonistic, gyrating dancing that all the other gals are engaging in.

Sticking around to endure the depraved dance party, gives our do-gooder crew a far better chance of further infiltrating this unruly gang, and gaining valuable opposition intelligence. They want this mission to be a shining success from an intelligence gathering standpoint... "Sure, Darla!!" Maria shouts back "Of course I'm, gonna dance! I wouldn't miss this chance to dance and party for all the beatnik beads in the universe, especially since I just shut you down good on the sand drag strip!!"... All the gals and guys who can hear the back and forth between Maria and Darla blurt out a collective "Wooooo!!" in response to Maria's sassy comeback... One of 'Dastardly Darla's' eyebrows on her green-tinted ghoulish face arches high on her forehead in cringing ire...

"Holy smokes!!" squawks Peter The Parrot "I thinks that Darla dame is starting to steam up!!"... "Yes, literally and figuratively." chimes in Sebastian "I believe that this beach party is turning treacherous!!"... "I suspect you're right, Sebastian!!" says Fred The Wrench... "Hmm," adds leader Larry Lamb as he looks wary while rubbing his woolly chin "We're certainly learning an awful lot about the ways of these darkside hoodlums, and that's great for our opposition intelligence gathering, however, I am concerned, and do wonder, how long Maria and the rest of us can keep up this ongoing creepy low-life masquerade???"...  The beatnik drumbeat gets faster in tempo. The dancing accelerates in gyrating speed, to the point where it's a surreal beatnik mind-trip of manic metaphysical proportion!!! Maria proceeds to skip right in front of 'Dastardly Darla', and rapidly builds up her own rate of hip gyration to the same wicked warp speed that the other darkside girls are dancing...

"This is gettin' downright scary!!" squawks Peter The Parrot "They're all gyrating into a warp-speed metaphysical blur!!"...  All the gruesome beatnik guys are occasionally rotating their heads at a sinister speed, as they continuously pant and drool like dogs in heat at the women!! The 'beach party' has taken a torrid, turbulent turn to where the basic laws of physics are being thrown out the window!!! The beatnik music has morphed into a potent pulsating hum that sounds like thousands of un-grounded amplifiers!!!  It's all like a frantic warp-speed fandango!!! Maria and 'Dastardly Darla' are now bouncing off each other in a static-electric whirlwind gone completely haywire!!! All the sand from the beach is rising into the air and spiraling like Kansas twisters on steroids!!! The sand dragsters have become airborne by the brutal winds!!! Some of the beatnik guys, including 'Dastardly Darla's mechanic Slitzy, take notice that our crew of guys, Larry, Sebastian, Fred and Peter aren't drooling, panting and spinning their heads in lust for the dancing women like the rest of the beatniks at the party...

Slitzy approaches our crew in his tattered shorts with several other hedonistic hoodlums and says, "Hey!! What's up wit you lame-oh cats?!? Why ain't you diggin' all the chick-a-dees dancing in a warp-speed metaphysical twist?!? What's the deal with you boring deadbeats?!? Are you a bunch of squares or sumpthin'?!?"... Then another one of the hoodlums, named Stosh, wipes a whole lot of green, slimy drool from his face and blurts out to our guys, "We know that youse are not like us!!! As a matter of fact, we thinks you're all phony imposters from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association, and youse are all here for some kind of ulterior undercover motive that ain'ts on the level!!!"... Then suddenly all the bikini wearing beatnik girls, and Maria too, stop gyrating and dancing, and are standing on what's left of the beach sand. Maria can plainly see that something's going down and it's NOT good. Slitzy then walks up to Maria and says, "You ain't fooling us, chick-a-dee, not anymore anyways. Maybe you did a good job of pretending to be a sleaze for a while, but we're on to all of you now!!! When we saw that your boys weren't diggin' on the ghoulish groovy-girl hedonistic dance scene like we all do, we figured it out!!!  And now you're all going to be our prisoners!!! You do-gooders are going to have to toil as our enslaved servants for all eternity!!!! YA DIG?!?!? I SAID, I SAID, DO YA DIG WHAT I'M SAYIN'?!?!?"... Maria can't help but to look aghast... Then 'Dastardly Darla' gets right up in Maria's face and says "THE MAN JUST ASKED YOU IF YOU DIG WHAT HE'S SAYIN?!?!?"... 'Dastardly Darla' then shoves Maria's bare shoulders and adds "I"M GONNA ENJOY THIS!!! I'M GONNA MAKE YOU AND YOUR CREW OF DOPEY HEAVENLY DO-GOODERS SQUIRM AND SUFFER UNDER ME AND MY BOYS' GREASY SLEAZY THUMBS FOR ALL ETERNITY!!! NOW YOU'RE STUCK WITH US, BABYCAKES!!!!!!"...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Looks like the sleazy sand dragster race 'after party' of hedonistic depravity has come to an abrupt halt, as the low-life beatniks of the Darkside Drag Racing Association's sanctioned scene, have now realized that our crew aren't part of their group, but are really do-gooders sent on an intelligence gathering assignment from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association!!!  And now the creeps, including 'Dastardly Darla' and her mechanic Slitzy, are saying that they're taking our do-gooder crew prisoner, and damning them to be their enslaved servants for all eternity!!!! WHAT CAN OUR GANG POSSIBLY DO NOW?!?! IS THERE ANY WAY AT ALL TO ESCAPE THIS TORTUOUS FATE?!?!? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


August is finally here -- and with that said, now's a good time for you to make plans to attend THE DIGS AT E'TOWN's "HOT FUN SUNDAY" nostalgia drag event that's scheduled for Sunday August 27th!!!...  THE DIGS AT E'TOWN old school & traditional drag racing series happens at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's 1/8th mile drag strip.There's always such an eclectic variety of old school drag racing machinery that shows up for THE DIGS!!! There's always plenty of spectacular speedy surprises!!! And it's certainly one of the most "family friendly" of nostalgia drag racing scenes you'll ever experience!!-- THE DIGS is a very warm, friendly and comfortable old school hot rodding environment where everyone can genuinely enjoy themselves and have a great day at the drag strip, no matter what their age or "generational status"-- THAT'S WHY I'M ABSOLUTELY HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH THE DIGS-- AND THAT'S WHY I'LL DEFINITELY BE THERE WITH BELLS ON!!-- AND SO SHOULD YOU!!!... THE DIGS nostalgia series had an incredible season debut last month, with a record breaking car count and spectator attendance, and I look forward to it being even bigger for the upcoming August 27th event... There's old school drag racing, live music, great food -- It's a GAS!!!... And please keep in mind that on Sunday October 29th is the yearly DEAD MAN'S CURVE MONSTER BASH-- please take a brief moment to mark your calendar for the October date as well, and make plans to "BE THERE" for that one too!!... The gates open at 9am in the morning and the action goes on until around 4pm in the afternoon... Being that it all happens at the 1/8th mile strip, please use the airport gate#4 entrance... Free tech card with paid adult admission for all pre-1965 hot rods, customs and U.S. bikes, Detroit muscle cars & street freaks thru 1979. Adult admission is $12, Kids 6-12 $6, Kids 5 years of age and under are FREE... For more details and further information please visit www.racewaypark.com



Grab the family, stick the kids in the back seat and come on out to THE DIGS AT E'TOWN on Sunday August 27th!


For those who possess a heartfelt affection for the American "muscle car" power of the brash and beefy vehicles that roll off the Chrysler/Plymouth/Dodge automobile manufacturing assembly line, I've got some important news to share with you today. Very often we hear the old expression "Mopar or No Car", and let's face it, there's a good number of folks among the gearhead population who read this blog with regularity, and still subscribe to that mopar-loving mantra from days gone by (I know that from all the emails you Mopar racers, collectors and fans send my way indicating exactly that fact!!!)... The 31st annual Mopar Collectors Guide MOPARS @ ETOWN event takes place relatively soon on the calendar, August 26-27 to be precise, at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. This event is a "must see" for those who love the Mopar breed of high performance rides. It's one of my favorite shindigs of the racing season, and I highly recommend it for the whole family. Please be smart and mark your calendar now for MOPARS @ ETOWN!!... For more detailed information you are cordially invited to visit racewaypark.com

 

 

Have a tendency to possess an appreciation for Mopar muscle? You best plan to attend MOPARS @ ETOWN!!


THE "SUNDAY FUNNIES" THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Being that today is in fact Sunday, we present our regularly scheduled "THE SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" feature, to help in eliminating the sic and grotesque epidemic of drag racing internet trolling and bullying...

Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way in which blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marvin's brand of belligerent behavior often has negative consequences for the collective drag racing scene... Marvin aggressively seeks out internet postings by women and young folk who he deems to be 'pesky' (because they don't fit in to his preferred ornery oriented demographic), and tries desperately to pick apart and dissect each and every single word they typed, often claiming the facts are wrong, even if he knows that they are really right-- Anything to create a confrontation laced with lewd language and 'f bombs' is merry sport for Marvin (using 'f bombs' sure makes Marvin feel more 'macho' and more like he's a 'big man')... When dorks like Marvin get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of 'debby-downer' dingbat dissent that fools like Marvin dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless nagging negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a 'family friendly' place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to Marvin's brand of blowhard bullying...

 

 

Marvin is a mess! The problem of blowhard bullies like him on the drag racing internet needs to be addressed!


This is something that comes from the mind of my longtime friend, fast doorslammer racer, advocate and promoter Dave Hance. Yes, the same Dave Hance who created the spectacular "SHAKEDOWN" racing series. Below I posted his proposed rules for what he cleverly calls a "NEW WORLD ORDER 1/8th MILE PRO MOD CLASS". I ask that all you racers and fans of dastardly doorslammer competition take a moment to read it, absorb it, and consider the possibilities and viability of Dave's proposed concept -- because quite frankly, I believe it's a pretty darn good idea...


"Ladies & Gentlemen of the PRO MOD WORLD.... LET US ALL WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE 2018 a GREAT year WORLD WIDE for 1/8th Mile Heads-Up Pro Mod Racing !! Today there is a GREAT1/4mile rule package in place that allows all Three (3) power adders to compete for the WIN...The best racing in the world occurs when everybody adder has the ability to WIN on race Day. Hats off to the NHRA on a GREAT Program and a GREAT rules package. If your running 1/4 Mile Pro Mod class anywhere in the WORLD I highly recommend you run NHRA rules.

And NOW the TIME has come for 1/8th mile Pro Mod Programs WORLD-WIDE to UNITE behind a COMMON set of rules that will have ALL THREE (3) Power Adders Racing each other in the 1/8th mile. The GOAL of this NEW WORLD ORDER 1/8TH Mile class should be all power adders have a reasonable change or expectation to WIN on raceday. Ladies & Gentlemen I know this will NOT be easy to figure out and I know it will TAKE TIME to get final package worked out.... But I believe the future growth and fate of our heads up 1/8th Mile Pro Mod classes would be best served if we ALL GET ON THE SAME PAGE WORLD-WIDE. Every other sport world-wide has common rules....Baseball has 3 strikes no matter where in the World you play it.... for 2018 if your running a Pro Mod in 1/8th mile action the RULES should be the SAME in the USA, Middle East, Europe, South America, Canada and everywhere else in the World where there is racing. COMMON WORLD WIDE RULES Need to HAPPEN for 2018 and in those rules ALL the Power adders need to race each other !

This new potential NEW WORLD ORDER Pro Mod class would become the standard rule package for ALL Tracks and Racing Associations running 1/8th Mile Heads Up Pro Mod Action.

PROPOSED NEW WORLD ORDER 1/8TH MILE PRO MOD RULES:

NITROUS- 2,375LBS 5.3MAXBORESPACE
ENTRIES USING 799 C.I. OR LESS DED 100LB
SMALL BLOCK NITROUS - DED 375LBS

BLOWN: BASE WEIGHT 2,550LBS ROOTS BLOWN NO OD LIMIT
SCREW BLOWN 2550LBS ?? I need help here as I don't understand how to limit a screw...any help with this would be greatly appreciated.

TURBO: BASE WEIGHT: 2600LBS / 94MMMAX TURBO SIZE
ENTRIES USING 88MM TURBOS DEDUCT 100LBS

When commenting on rules try to envision a class where ALL 3 power adders have the ability to run 3.70-3.80 range.

For 2018 let the entire PRO MOD WORLD unite behind JUST 2 SETS OF RULES:

IF an association is running 1/4 mile PLEASE USE Current NHRA PRO MOD RULE PACKAGE.

IF an association is running 1/8th mile please use NEW WORLD ORDER 1/8th mile rule package which has NOT been finalized yet but will be soon !!

We ask anybody with a stake or interest in Pro Mod Type Racing ( including fans, sponsors, crew members, media & anybody else ) to please get behind this NEW direction. Thank you."

 

 

Racer, promoter & advocate for a "NEW WORLD ORDER 1/8 MILE PRO MOD CLASS" Dave Hance & yours truly.



Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog informing everyone that Franky's & Felicia's NHRA Sonoma picks were cancelled due to an extension being tagged on to Franky's suspension from last week resulted in so many of you writing in. Ryan from Smithtown, WA  said, "I was totally bummed out to hear that Franky was suspended for taking on some jerk driver in a Yankees cap who cut him off, and then suspended again for pirating DVDs with his ex-girlfriend from Pennsylvania. Missing Franky's & Felicia's NHRA  picks for two straight races in a row just plain sucks bigtime. "--  On the completely other side of the opinion fence, Jasmine from Hancock, MD wrote in, "Why does Drag Racing Underground keep Franky & Felicia and their stupid NHRA racing picks? If Franky is such a loser that he can't stay out of trouble, then let them both go! I sincerely hope that they DON'T return for the Northwest Nationals in August! They are so freaking dumb!"... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Manuela from all the way in Santiago, Chile said, "The sand dragster after party may be deranged as you Americans call it, but I do love it so very much that way!"-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "All the warped speed gyrating by the darkside beatnik girls has my head spinning! This is the best summer ever for the metaphysical drag racing crew!"... My brand new 'Drag Racing Thought of the Day' blog series, featuring drag racing related thought from a more virtuous mindset stirred up the proverbial pot with loads of conflicting reactions. Stacy from Concord Twp, PA  chimed in, "I agree with Doc that the culture of constant complaining on the drag racing internet makes it suck."-- On the other side of the opinion fence, Dominick from Park Hills, OK said, "Doc doesn't seem to understand that we are a nation of chronic complainers, that's what's making America a great country again!"... My blog raving about last Sunday's OLD TIME DRAGS & ROD RUN event at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park resulted in Freddy from Elizabeth, NJ  saying, "After so many years of wanting to, I finally had the opportunity to meet Doc at the Old Time Drags. She is absolutely right about this nostalgia race. It is a time traveling experience for us old timers who remember the good old days of the sport."-- Tyler from Spring Lake, NJ wrote in, "The 422 All Stars and East Coast Gassers were like a dream come true. I love classic door cars. The dragsters were cool too."-- and Christine from Westport, CT typed, "My family enjoyed the Old Time Drags a lot. Even though the weather report wasn't the best it could be, it was worth the long drive to Englishtown New Jersey."..  Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


We originally planned for today's blog to feature Franky's & Felicia's picks for this weekend's Toyota NHRA Sonoma Nationals. However, as you probably are already well aware, we just recently suspended Franky last week, just prior to the Mopar NHRA Mile-High Nationals, due to his involvement in a "road rage" related incident, when he was allegedly "cut off" on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway by a driver wearing a Yankees cap. And yes, we all know how strongly Franky feels that New Yorkers should be supporting the Mets and not the Yankees. An altercation ensued. To make a long story short, we then temporarily suspended Franky from his race predicting duties, in hopes that this issue would be cleared up by this week, and we'd be able to have him and Felicia return to predicting the winners for this weekend's scheduled NHRA race in Sonoma -- However, unfortunately, we've extended Franky's suspension, due to when he was being investigated for the recent road rage incident, an arrest warrant surfaced from Pennsylvania, alleging that Franky and an ex-girlfriend of his from Pennsylvania, were suspected of videotaping feature films inside a rural Pennsylvania move theater, and then they'd produce pirated DVD copies of same movies, and illegally sold them on Canal Street in New York City. So Franky is still stuck in quite a disturbing legal funk. We felt that we had no choice but to extend Franky's suspension. Hopefully this will all clear up in time for Franky & Felicia to return to this page next week, for them to provide us their predictions for August's NHRA Northwest Nationals. We apologize to all of you who were looking forward to Franky's & Felicia's Sonoma picks today. We're trying our very best  to sort this matter out as soon as humanly possible.





   


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were assigned by the Heavenly Drag Racing Association for a revolutionary straightline do-gooder mission of all missions -- one that finally facilitated Maria's longtime requests to the H.D.R.A. administration, to give her the opportunity to drive a race car in competition. Sebastian's forced to watch from the sidelines for this assignment, due to this mission requiring the team compete in the Darkside Drag Racing Association's 'Planet X Program' -- a program featuring all female drivers -- nasty gals from the darkside of the drag racing afterlife, who race and behave in dirty fiendish fashion. It's a beach dragster bikini league that subscribes to a sleazy, beatnik "beach party" scene of hedonistic depravity, while serving as one of the darkside afterlife's most brutally tough of sand digger drag racing sanctioned competitions. It's a truly rough n' tumble, sandy, and way-sinister drag racing scene!! Maria was fortunate to put 'Dastardly Darla' on the trailer in a 'too-close-for-comfort' sand dragster duel, however, she now finds herself in a tricky situation as the race's 'after party' has kicked into a beatnik affair of sleazy degenerating activity...

 Whacked-out, weirdo beatnik music begins playing loudly over the track's public address system -- then a rowdy party that feeds completely on depraved debauchery immediately ensues!!!... "Uh, I'm getting a little uncomfortable with this situation, and where this, ahem, party seems to be going." Maria says under her breath to her longtime do-gooder  teammates... Sure, it's dandy spectacularly grand that Maria just won the sinister sand dragster competition, while making her debut effort occupying the driver's seat, BUT, Good Golly Miss Molly!! -- This deranged darkside 'beach party' is becoming just a bit too freaky for our upstanding crew to easily endure!!  'Dastardly Darla' and all the darkside girls are dancing in a lewd and tasteless way to the blaring manic beatnik beat. All the gruesome darkside guys are panting heavily while watching the women dance about in shameful gyrations... 'Dastardly Darla' yells out to Maria "Hey, Maria! For being a winner, you sure ain't a very groovy chick when it comes to celebrating!!! Get over here, chick, and start shakin' it with me and the other gals!!!"...

Maria has that 'deer in the headlights' look come over her, as she quickly contemplates whether or not she's going to continue her convincing 'low-life lady' masquerade, and join in on the sleazy, hedonistic, gyrating dancing that all the other gals are engaging in, or if she's simply going to implore leader Larry Lamb to initiate a fast-exit and teleportation the heck out of this heated hedonistic hoedown?!?... If she chooses to stay and endure the depraved dance party, her and our gang might have a far better chance of further infiltrating this unruly gang, and gaining valuable opposition intelligence. However, if our crew decides to abruptly split and teleports home, their cover may be blown, and the mission as a whole won't be nearly as much of a success from an intelligence gathering standpoint!... Maria takes a deep breath, rolls her eyes a little to show her teammates that she's gonna stick it out and stay in this game "Sure, Darla!!" Maria shouts "Of course I'm, gonna dance! I wouldn't miss the chance to dance and party since I just shut you down good on the sand strip!!"... All the gals and guys who can hear the back and forth between Maria and Darla blurt out a collective "Wooooo!" in response to Maria's sassy comeback... One of 'Dastardly Darla's' eyebrows on her green-tinted ghoulish face arches and raises high on her forehead in cringing ire...

"Holy smokes," squawks Peter The Parrot "I thinks that Darla dame is starting to steam up!"... "Yes, literally and figuratively." chimes in Sebastian "I believe that this party has the potential of turning into a brutal brawl!!"... "I suspect that Darla is itching for a fight with our sweet Maria." says Fred The Wrench... "Hmm," speaks leader Larry Lamb as he rubs his woolly chin "We're certainly learning an awful lot about the ways of these darkside hoodlums, and that's great for our opposition intelligence gathering, but, I wonder how long Maria and all of us can keep up this creepy low-life masquerade??"...  The beatnik drumbeat gets faster in tempo. The dancing accelerates quickly in gyration speed, to the point where it's a surreal beatnik mind trip utilizing manic metaphysical features!! Maria skips right in front of Darla, and rapidly builds up her own rate of gyration to the wicked warp speed that the darkside girls are dancing...

"Oh, man!" says Fred The Wrench "These gals are clocking in some high RPMs with their internal crankshafts!!"... "It's gettin' downright scary!!" squawks Peter The Parrot "They're all gyrating into a warped-speed metaphysical blur!!"... "Not too mention the fact that all the gruesome guys are now starting to rotate their heads at a nearly equally sinister speed!" adds Larry Lamb "Look at Maria! Somehow she's managed to alter her molecules and body mass to do this deranged dance like the rest of them!! How can she possibly maintain this manic movement and stay together as a spirit!?!"... The entire beach party has taken a torrid, turbulent turn to where it appears as if the basic laws of physics are being completely thrown out the window!!! The beatnik music has morphed into a potent pulsating hum that sounds like hundreds of thousands of un-grounded amplifiers!!! What was once 'suggestive' dancing by the ladies, has become much more of a dangerously frantic warp-speed fandango!!! The beatnik guys are also displaying a warp-speed metaphysical ability to manipulate the motion of their bodies as they lustfully drool at the accelerated movement of the women!!! Maria and 'Dastardly Darla' are now bouncing off each other in a static electric whirlwind of warp-speed inertia gone cockeyed haywire!!! All the sand from the beach is rising into the air and spiraling like Kansas twisters on steroids!!! The sand dragsters have become airborne!!!  WE MUST ASK THE QUESTION --  HAS OUR HEAVENLY DRAG RACING DO-GOODER CREW FINALLY BIT OFF MORE THAN THEY CAN POSSIBLY METAPHYSICALLY CHEW?!?!?

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  Looks like the sleazy sand dragster race 'after party' has become a hedonistic dance of depravity, that's now switched into a high-hybrid gear of metaphysically motivated mayhem!!! The dancing girls, especially Maria and 'Dastardly Darla', are gyrating and bouncing off each other in a warped speed fiendish fandango!!! The guys are also locked into a ghoulish warped-speed darkside induced possession of their deranged spirits!!! Sand is blowing around like a thousand terrible tornadoes, while all the sand dragsters are flying through the muggy air like bombastic beach balls!!! THIS BEACH PARTY HAS REACHED A SINISTER STAGE!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


Today we're introducing a new feature here on the Drag Racing Underground blog page. It's called The Drag Racing Thought of the Day... This feature will highlight a profound righteous thought or upstanding honest reflection that's recently come to my mind, that I justifiably feel is worth sharing with you and all the regular readers of this blog. I believe that this new feature will give me an additional opportunity to express ideas and opinions related to drag racing, that come from a far more ethically and morally virtuous mindset, than most of the blowhard biased babble we're so used to seeing driveled elsewhere on some of the drag racing internet... This feature is for both young and old members of the drag racing community to absorb and contemplate...

 

 




Dragsters de jour along with a superb soup-to-nuts interesting variety of other speedy samplings of nostalgia drag racing machinery were served up on a scrumptious phat platter at yesterday's 38th annual E'Town OLD TIME DRAGS & ROD RUN.  On the ultra-extensive menu were diggers, altereds, the East Coast Gassers, nostalgia super stockers, the 422 All Stars, classics from the Ida Automotive stable, hot rods, rat rods, muscle cars, roadsters, street rods, show cars, unique oddities, etc, etc (whew!-- if variety is indeed truly the spice of life, the OLD TIME DRAGS was quite the spicy old school shindig for sure!!!)... There were vendors with all sorts of groovy memorabilia and drag racing related merchandise. Lots of stuff  to see and absorb. It proved to be such a "family friendly" event with all different generations of people, young and old, enjoying the day. The proverbial "blast from the past" mantra was in full effect and made a substantial impact on your gearhead oriented psyche -- It was definitely a drag racing  "time traveling experience" for the ages... Despite a less than favorable weather forecast for the weekend, and lingering overcast clouds, the car count and spectator numbers were pretty darn impressive. I enjoyed meeting up with a lot of old and new friends alike (many of you who told me that you read this blog with regularity, and I genuinely do appreciate you all for that -- I really do!!!). Special thanks to all the teams, racers, spectators and vendors for making the gathering a super fun success-- and thanks also goes out to the steadfast Raceway Park staff for putting the whole show together and keeping it running smooth throughout the day. I'm already looking forward to next year's 39th edition of the OLD TIME DRAGS!!!...

 

 

Dragsters de jour and so much more made yesterday's E'Town OLD TIME DRAGS fast family fun for everyone!