732-750-0536

Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

We originally planned for our controversial NHRA winner pickers Franky & Felicia to provide their picks today for this weekend's AAA Texas NHRA FallNationals. However, Drag Racing Underground's Stephanie, who coordinates the publishing of the picks with Franky & Felicia, received word that Franky went AWOL yesterday, resulting in the entire publishing process falling apart. Evidently, after "having a few" with some of his "buddies" from the Queens, NY chapter of what's called "The Billy Joel/METS Coalition" (a fan club that combines its members' love for Billy Joel and the NY METS), it's said that Franky and some of his inebriated cohorts from the club hopped a subway train from Queens en route to Manhattan, where they all embarked on a reckless, drunken attempt to try to buy scalped tickets for last evening's GUNS N' ROSES concert at Madison Square Garden. Reports are coming in that Franky got into a scuffle outside the venue while trying to score tickets, when a group of GUNS N' ROSES fans from New Jersey started teasing Franky and his buddies about the Billy Joel fan shirts and caps they were wearing. Franky is alleged to have taken the teasing very personally and subsequently elevated the scuffle into a more serious brawl, which lead to Franky getting picked up by law enforcement and forced to spend the rest of the evening in the local police precinct's drunk tank.... Details are sketchy at best, but this recent development does once again put Franky on temporary suspension from his assigned prognosticating duties here at Drag Racing Underground. Felicia was not available for comment. Hopefully this matter involving Franky's questionable behavior will be straightened out soon, so that  both Franky & Felicia can return to these pages in time for them to provide us with their predictions for the NHRA Toyota Nationals in Vegas coming up in two weeks. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this has caused our regular readers...




Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are at their residence racing compound/headquarters, after returning home from yet another mission of paranormal hot-rod motoring mayhem, assigned by their superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. Our group just finished up a casual meeting at the kitchen table, where leader Larry Lamb firmly stated that he wants his subordinates to work on improving their tactical supernatural skills, he then lightened up a bit and congratulated Maria on being a winner in her very first bout of on-track drag racing competition... Maria leaves the team's post-mission kitchen meeting, and starts walking to her quarters... Moments later, the guys hear Maria shouting "AAAARRRH!!! THERE'S SOMETHING FROM THE DARKSIDE UNDER MY BED!!!! IT'S A GRUESOME MINIATURE-SIZED LIFE FORM, ER, AFTERLIFE FORM THAT I'VE NEVER, EVER SEEN BEFORE!!!!"... Rattled by Maria's cry for help, as well as a hideous gurgling sound emanating from the unwelcome intruder, the guys make a mad dash to Maria's quarters... Larry Lamb liberally sprinkles a defensive 'fairy dust' all over the threatening scaled-down gearhead ghoul!!...

The small creature loses its aggressive angst as the defensive fairy dust starts to affect its psyche and cosmic behavior thought patterns. The eerie apparition is now relatively calm and complacent, though oozing some kind of foul ectoplasm from beneath an old school drag racing respirator mask that it's wearing. Sebastian yanks the mask off its head... "I recognize that little twerp!!" blurts Fred The Wrench "His name is Mantis!! He's a clutch ghoul and bottom-end guy for the darkside's Funny Car fleet operations!"... "That's right, Freddy-boy!" gurgles Mantis, "I came here just wanting to borrow some tools -- that's all!"... "Yeah, right!" replies Fred "You don't expect us to believe that crock!?! You scared Maria out of her skin!"... "He sure did!" concurs Maria "Mantis is certainly an appropriate name for this little monster, because his head looks like a praying mantis!"... "You got a problem with that?!?" Mantis gurgles... "Yes, as a matter of fact I do," replies Maria in a sharp tone, "don't praying mantises eat each other's heads and do gross stuff like that??"... "Only the females do that sick stuff!" gurgles Mantis, "I'm a man!!"... "Ahem," interjects Larry Lamb, clearing this throat to command attention, "So, what are we to do with this oddball intruder from the drag racing afterlife's darkside? He's a strange mix of insipid interspecies creation. I don't know if we can believe ANYTHING he tells us?"...

"Look, I'll come clean," Mantis says "I arrived here yesterday, but you do-gooders weren't here, so, I crawled in through one of the exterior vents."...  Mantis then switches to a more subdued gurgling  "I came here looking for political and moral afterlife asylum. I defected from the Darkside Drag Racing Association, because I could no longer bring myself to perform the disgraceful drag racing related tasks they kept constantly assigning me! I swear!!"... "Hmm," squawks Peter The Parrot, "call me crazy, but I think I might actually believe the guy -- and ya know, I sure wouldn't mind having another friend around here that's more my size."... "Let's put Mantis inside the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule," interjects Larry Lamb "and then diligently question his intentions."... "That's a smart next step, boss." says Sebastian "Then we'll see if his so-called 'seeking asylum' story is true or false."... Maria speaks, "Yeah, I agree, that's a wise next step in deciphering what this little Mantis creature's intentions really are."...

Larry Lamb motions for everyone to follow him out of Maria's quarters, and enter a special soundproof room that houses the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule... "Step inside the transparent capsule, Mantis," instructs Larry Lamb  "and sit yourself down on the chair."... "Uh, I'm too short to climb up on that chair." gurgles Mantis... Sebastian provides Mantis with a helpful boost up on the chair and then closes the capsule's door, though not without some of Mantis' bubbling, oozing, sticky ectoplasm getting all over his hands... "Ewwww" says Maria seeing the ooze on Sebastian "What is that stuff?!?"... "Ah, don't worry about that." says Mantis, now seated in the enclosed transparent capsule "That ooze is completely harmless, it's actually an organic traction compound ingredient, that quite frankly doesn't even work that well."... Sebastian grabs some paper towels and GoJo and cleans the strange, slimy ooze off of himself..

"Alright," says Larry Lamb with stern authority in his voice "Let the questioning and interrogation begin."... Larry works a remote operating console, flipping a couple switches that jump-start and activate power for the telepathic lie detector indicator capsule... "First question," Larry says into a wireless and gravity-defying microphone device "Are your intentions that of a covert hostile darkside operative?"... "No!" gurlges Mantis in a borderline robotic manner, as if the capsule in which he's enclosed, is creating a metaphysical aura around him, promoting forced truthful disclosure... Everyone looks on, somewhat relieved, to now know that Mantis appears to be at least somewhat on the up and up -- so far... "Second question," Larry dictates "Have you come to us in order to use either sorcery or supernatural strategies to attain our team's secret engine tuning tips?"... "Don't flatter yourself, or Fred The Wrench," Mantis gurgles "I've been around the block. I can hold my own with a wrench. I wasn't looking to gain any engine-tuning intelligence from you do-gooders! That's absurd!"... "Humph!" blurts out Fred The Wrench "Ain't this truth capsule thing supposed to humble the one being interrogated??"... Maria giggles at Fred's remark...

"Third question," continues Larry Lamb "In all your years of performing as a darkside, drag racing afterlife deity subordinate, is it true, as you've claimed earlier, that you indeed found yourself morally and ethically uncomfortable when ordered to perform evil tasks assigned to you by your darkside superiors?"... "YEESSS! YEESSS!" gurgles Mantis with conviction "MY SUPERIORS COMPLETELY FOCUSED THEIR EFFORTS ON CORRUPTING MY SUPERNATURAL SUBCONSCIOUS, IN AN ATTEMPT TO  MAKE ME A SHAMELESS CREW MEMBER WITH NO MORAL COMPASS WHATSOEVER!!! AND EVEN WORSE, THEY THEN WERE GHOULISHLY GROOMING ME TO GET INTO POLITICS!!!"... "Politics???" questions Larry Lamb... "YEESSS! POLITICS!!" gurgles back Mantis with high anxiety  "THEY WANTED TO REMOVE ME FROM MY CLUTCH AND BOTTOM END PIT DUTIES AT THE DRAG STRIP, AND HAVE ME RUN AS THEIR PUPPET STOOGE FOR THE OPPRESSIVE PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE AMONG THE DARKSIDE DRAG RACING ASSOCIATION'S GROTESQUE GOVERNING BODY!!!!!"... "Hmmm," says Larry Lamb, "evidently, Mantis seemed to believe that making the move from wrenching at the strip, to being transformed into a darkside politician would be a fate worse than being dunked in boiling oil?!?"... "Well," says Fred The Wrench, "If that's truly the case, as it appears to be from him sittin' in dat truth capsule, that's one quality and trait of integrity about the little freak that I can genuinely respect."... Maria once again giggles at Fred The Wrench's blunt frankness... "Ahem, fourth and FINAL question..." interjects a still conservatively skeptical and cautiously wary Larry Lamb, while trying to maintain a stern, poker-faced interrogating manner...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  What will Larry Lamb's fourth and FINAL question be?!?  What will Larry's 'Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule' interrogation ultimately reveal about Mantis' intentions???-- WHAT WILL LARRY'S LAST QUESTION AND MANTIS' ANSWER TELL US ABOUT THE PINT-SIZED INSECT-HEADED APPARITION FROM THE DRAG RACING AFTERLIFE'S DARKSIDE?!??  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


Alexis DeJoria announced on Monday that she's going to retire from the grueling NHRA drag racing battleground following the conclusion of this 2017 season.  The 40-year-old is currently ranked 11th in the Mello Yello NHRA Funny Car standings. There's no denying that her stint of driving the Patron Tequila flopper in conjunction with Kalitta Racing, has produced some impressive results over the last few seasons. More than once on these pages, I've openly admitted to personally liking the lady. Having met Alexis DeJoria a couple times, and even spending some quality time with Alexis earlier this season, talking with her about my Big Stick music thing, I find her to be an intriguing and groovy gal. I give Alexis a heck of a lot of credit for being brave enough to strap into a nitro Funny Car on a frequent basis, and go through the ultra-tough regiment of participating on the NHRA tour -- That sure ain't no walk in the park, bub!... She's racked up some celebrated wins, and she's also experienced the kind of bumps and pain that occasionally comes with the territory. Overall, I believe that Alexis can be proud of all she's accomplished as a professional drag racer. I know that some blowhard fans of NHRA drag racing like to make a stink when drivers (especially WOMEN drivers) decide to retire from the sport -- They treat drag racing as if it's some sort of "weirdo cult", where you're NEVER supposed to be permitted to leave and walk away. I believe that sort of cockeyed thinking is stupid poppycock, and definitely doesn't reflect the views of most of the sport's more stable and rational fan base... In closing, I want to go on the record as wishing Alexis the very best for when she walks away from the sport at the end of this 2017 season. Hopefully she'll be able to find more quality and leisure time to spend with her loving husband of four years, Jesse James, and the rest of her family (because she claims that's one of the major reasons for her retirement announcement, she wants to dedicate more time to enjoying family)... Very best wishes for Alexis to live the rest of her days with happiness and joy after she walks proudly away from all this volatile nitro-burning noise. Alexis DeJoria now possesses some shiny, well-deserved and earned "Wally" trophies up on her mantle, and plenty of great drag racing memories for her to reflect on through her golden retirement years... We love her...

 

 

The soon to retire Alexis DeJoria enjoys a moment with nitro teammate Doug Kalitta at the Englishtown strip.

 

 


Race fans who stop going to the drags when Summer ends are missing some of the best times at the strip. The Autumn season brings colorful foliage on the trees, as well as ultra-comfortable temperature changes -- the kind of weather changes that actually help enhance the sport with better drag racing conditions. When temps drop a few degrees, the race car engines absolutely love it -- the tires on the cars are joyful because the slightly cooler weather often means better bite on the track surface, etc, etc -- THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT AUTUMN IS AWESOME FOR DRAG RACING!!!... THE DIGS AT E'TOWN is Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's old school & traditional drag racing series. The 2017 season finale of the successful series happens on Sunday October 29th, 9am-4pm at the track's 1/8th mile strip (use airport entrance gate #4). It's the annual "MONSTER BASH" event with a Halloween twist, that brings droves of nostalgia racers and fans together every end of October at the scenic Englishtown, New Jersey, drag strip. Autumn helps make this event even more awesome, because the Fall season flavor is a genuinely positive factor for a favorable day of fast family fun! The IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT will be in full-effect! The on-track drag racing action is spectacular! There's all sorts of groovy hot rods and show cars! You'll see some of the coolest local bands of the region perform live! There's great food! Below is a photo from a previous "Monster Bash" -- aren't the trees changing colors such a beautiful sight!... Come on out to THE DIGS AT E'TOWN annual "MONSTER BASH" on Sunday October 29th!! It's an Autumn paradise for nostalgia drag racing fans... I highly recommend it!!... BE THERE!!!... For more information please visit racewaypark.com

 

 

The Fall and Autumn season is AWESOME at THE DIGS AT E'TOWN annual MONSTER BASH Sunday Oct 29th!

 

 


Being that today is in fact Sunday, we present our regularly scheduled "THE SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" feature, to help in eliminating the sic and grotesque epidemic of drag racing internet trolling and bullying...

Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way in which blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marvin's brand of belligerent behavior often has negative consequences for the collective drag racing scene... Marvin aggressively seeks out internet postings by women and young folk who he deems to be 'pesky' (because they don't fit in to his preferred ornery oriented demographic), and tries desperately to pick apart and dissect each and every single word they typed, often claiming the facts are wrong, even if he knows that they are really right-- Anything to create a confrontation laced with lewd language and 'f bombs' is merry sport for Marvin (using 'f bombs' sure makes Marvin feel more 'macho' and more like he's a 'big man')... When dorks like Marvin get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of 'debby-downer' dingbat dissent that fools like Marvin dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless nagging negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a 'family friendly' place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to Marvin's brand of blowhard bullying...

 

 

Marvin is a mess! The problem of blowhard bullies like him on the drag racing internet needs to be addressed!


I've been sort of putting off lending any of my own comments regarding last weekend's horrific Las Vegas Mandalay Bay gun massacre. It's strange how a catastrophic event where a deranged shooter named Stephen Paddock, now has our entire nation walking on eggshells, and so gosh darn afraid to address any of the more obvious issues involving the sinister mass murder. 58 people lost their lives and nearly 500 were injured, yet, we're all supposed to keep our mouths shut and move on -- I really don't get it. And yes, I'm well aware of our U.S. Constitution's 2nd Amendment, however, I don't believe that way back when that was written, it was done so with our forefathers' "psychic vision" of a future where one unstable individual could kill, injure and maim hundreds of innocent victims in a matter of minutes from an elevated perch, inside a hotel suite thousands of feet away. By using a gizmo called a "Bump Stock" weapon modifier, Stephen Paddock was able to turn semi-automatic weapons into fully functional rapid-fire automatic weapons, and it's a completely "legal" gun modification you can easily buy online for chump change. And yes, I know that there are lots of completely sane, rational and responsible gun owners and NRA advocates who think it's okay to stockpile countless guns n' ammo, but don't you think it's time we take a serious look at where we are with all this in relation to the safety concerns of the innocent? There's got to be some sensible compromise that can bring a little more sanity to the whole gun situation. So-called "right wingers" have a history of being stubbornly reluctant to have any conversation whatsoever of compromise on gun rules and regulations -- but I believe that's a direct result of extreme right wing media brainwashing. Charlie Sykes, an admittedly former "right wing talk radio star" recently released a book titled "How the Right Lost Its Mind" -- the book is written by an author who even takes some responsibility for how a faction of the right has seemingly lost its moral compass, and even its ability to decipher fact from fiction. It's an honest and eye-opening read, no matter what your political leanings... In closing, I want to express my sympathies for the victims and affected families of last weekend's Las Vegas gun massacre. For those innocent shooting victims who lost life and will never be able to speak their opinions on what happened, let's please try to do at least something to reduce the risk of these sort of tragedies occurring again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again, like they seem to be doing of late...

 

 


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog promoting the upcoming DIGS AT E'TOWN nostalgia drags "MONSTER BASH" scheduled for Sunday October 29th  resulted in lots of emails. Lawrence of Cranford, NJ wrote, "For the last couple of years the Monster Bash has been the best DIGS of the season. I'm sure this year will be no exception. Please tell Doc I will see her there and she can sign my Big Stick record collection!" -- Ernest from Jersey City, NJ scribes "I never miss the Monster Bash! Bring on those cool street gassers!"... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Alida from all the way in Heerhugowaard, Netherlands said, "I agree with Peter The Parrot that Mantis wasn't lying when he said he was there looking for asylum."-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "Mantis oozing an organic ectoplasm traction compound is freaking me out!"... My blog announcing Drag Racing Underground officially proclaiming October as being "OUT OF THE HOLE" Month, celebrating all the racers who launch off the starting line in spectacular fashion prompted Chuck from Boulder City, NV to say, "Leave it to Drag Racing Underground to come up with a respectful way to recognize wheelstanding racers. I haven't heard the 'out of the hole' drag racing expression in many years! Thanks for bringing it back! " -- Poncho from Conventry, RI wrote, "I love the photo of Little Simon's Malibu twisting off the line. That's one of my favorite No/Time cars at Englishtown." ...  Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Linda from Wikeson, WA in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "Marvin encouraging Russians to hack our electrical grid to eliminate women and children from posting about drag racing is his most asinine idea yet! He's such a disgusting cyber bully!"...  My blog congratulating winners of last week's AAA Insurance NHRA Midwest Nationals caused Katie from Wellington, FL to say, "I like the pic of Ron Capps signing autographs for the kids. He was friendly to my five sons too when they met him."... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


As we're now immersed in the autumn season of pumpkins and Halloween howling, I ask that all my readers of the northeast keep in mind that on Sunday, October 29th, Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey, will be hosting THE DIGS AT E'TOWN's annual "MONSTER BASH" nostalgia & traditional drag racing event... 9am-4pm at the E'Town 1/8th mile strip (use airport gate #4)... It's a great family oriented, old school, ghoulish gearhead gathering... You'll most surely dig the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT!!!... There's time-traveling drag racing on-track action, show cars, movie cars, some of the grooviest live bands of the region, good food and haunting Halloween seasonal family fun for everyone!!... Open headers permitted. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre 1965 hot rods, customs, and U.S. bikes. Detroit muscle cars and street freaks thru 1979 are welcome to participate. Helmets, seat belts required for racing. Adult admission $12.00 Kids 6-12 $6.00 Kids 5 and under FREE!!... BE THERE!!-- I certainly will!!... For more information and details you can visit racewaypark.com

 

 

Experience the Halloween nostalgia drag racin' sensation of THE DIGS' "MONSTER BASH"!!!


 

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were finally home at their racing compound/headquarters, after being assigned by the Heavenly Drag Racing Association on yet another mission of paranormal hot-rod motoring mayhem. Our group just finished up a meeting at the kitchen table, where leader Larry Lamb firmly stated that he wants his subordinates to work on improving their tactical supernatural skills, he then lightened up a bit and congratulated Maria on being a winner in her very first bout of on-track drag racing competition. Maria triumphantly defeated former sand dragster champ and queen of the beatnik beach racers 'Dastardly Darla', in a grueling 'ladies only' sand digger duel during their assignment at a Darkside Drag Racing Association sanctioned sand dragster event...

"Well, I'm gonna change out of this beatnik bikini, wash up, and make some notes in my diary." says Maria as she leaves the kitchen and starts walking to her quarters... Only moments later, the guys can hear Maria screaming out loud "AAAARRRH!!! THERE'S SOMETHING FROM THE DARKSIDE UNDER MY BED!!!! IT'S A GRUESOME MINIATURE-SIZED LIFE FORM, ER, AFTERLIFE FORM I'VE NEVER, EVER SEEN BEFORE!!!!"... The guys are rattled by Maria's cry for help, as well as a hideous gurgling sound that's emanating from the unwelcome intruder! They proceed to make a mad dash to Maria's quarters.... "OH NO!!" exclaims Larry Lamb when seeing the scaled-down beast "SOMEONE HURRY AND GET ME MY STRONGEST DEFENSIVE FAIRY DUST!!!”... Peter The Parrot takes to flight, right to the compound's emergency metaphysical storage cabinet. He grabs a packet of premium defensive fairy dust in his beak, and flies directly back to Larry Lamb at the scene of the creepy commotion. Larry pulls the packet of fairy dust from Peter's beak, and liberally commences sprinkling it all over the threatening ghoul!...

The small but somewhat sinister appearing creature loses its aggressive angst as the defensive fairy dust starts to affect its psyche and overall behavior. In a matter of seconds, the eerie apparition is complacent, though oozing some kind of foul ectoplasm from beneath an old school drag racing respirator mask that it's wearing. Sebastian yanks the mask off its head... "I recognize that little twerp!!" blurts Fred The Wrench "His name is Mantis!! He's a clutch ghoul and bottom-end guy for the darkside's Funny Car fleet! I've competed against his teams, we've been wrenching rivals for a long time!!"... "That's right, Freddy-boy!" gurgles Mantis, "I came here just wanting to borrow some tools -- that's all!"... "Yeah, right!" replies Fred "You don't expect us to believe that crock!?! You broke into our compound and must be here for some kind of mischief! AND you practically scared our dear Maria out of her skin!"... "He sure did!" concurs Maria,"Mantis is certainly an appropriate name for this little monster, because his head looks like a praying mantis to me!"... "You got a problem with that?!?" Mantis gurgles to Maria... "Yes, I do," replies Maria in a sharp tone, "Don't praying mantises eat each other's heads or something sick like that??"... "Only the females do that!" gurgles Mantis, "I'm a guy!"... "Ahem," interjects Larry Lamb, clearing this throat to command attention, "So, what are we to do with this oddball intruder from the drag racing afterlife's darkside? He's a strange mix of insipid interspecies creation. I don't know if he can be trusted?"...

Mantis says "Look, I'll come clean -- I arrived here yesterday, but you do-gooders weren't here, so, I crawled in and gained entry through one of the exterior vents." Mantis then switches to a more subdued gurgling vocal delivery, "I came here looking for asylum. I defected from the Darkside Drag Racing Association, because I could no longer bring myself to perform the disgraceful drag racing related tasks they kept constantly assigning me! I swear!"... "Hmm" squawks Peter The Parrot, "Ya know, call me crazy, but I actually believe the guy -- and ya know, I wouldn't mind having another friend around here that's more my size."... "Well," interjects Larry Lamb "Tell you what -- let's put Mantis inside the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule, and then diligently question his intentions."... "That's a smart next step, boss." says Sebastian "Then we'll see if his so-called 'seeking asylum' story is true or false."... Maria speaks, "Yeah, that's a wise plan."...

Larry Lamb motions for everyone to follow him out of Maria's quarters, and enter a special soundproof room that houses the Truth or Lie Indicator... "Step inside the transparent capsule, Mantis," instructs Larry Lamb  "and sit yourself down on the chair."... "Uh, I'm too short to climb up on that chair." replies Mantis... Sebastian provides Mantis with a helpful boost up on the chair and then closes the capsule's door, though not without some of Mantis' bubbling, oozing, sticky ectoplasm getting all over his hands... "Ewwww" says Maria seeing the ooze on Sebastian "What is that stuff?!?"... "Ah, don't worry about that." says Mantis, now seated in the enclosed transparent capsule "That ooze is completely harmless, it's actually an organic traction compound ingredient, that quite frankly doesn't even work that well."... Sebastian grabs some paper towels and GoJo and cleans the ooze off of himself... "Alright," says Larry Lamb with stern authority in his voice "Let the questioning and interrogation begin."...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  What wIll our heavenly drag racing team eventually wind up doing with this pint-sized darkside wrenching apparition?? What will an interrogation inside the 'Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule' ultimately reveal??? Will Mantis' story about seeking asylum from the Darkside hold water and pass the truth or lie test?? Is he telling the truth or not??? This miniature semi-sinister intruder with a head that looks like a praying mantis is on the proverbial 'hot seat' now!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


WE OFFICIALLY PROCLAIM OCTOBER AS "OUT OF THE HOLE" MONTH!!!...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

It's October... Fall is here... The Autumn foliage on the trees are turning such beautiful shades and colors, and we're celebrating all the racers who aggressively launch "Out of the Hole" in a way that dazzles the fans in the grandstands... Drag Racing Underground is officially proclaiming that October is "OUT OF THE HOLE" Month!!... That's right!! "Out of the Hole" is an old school drag racing expression meaning "the start of a race" -- And there's no denying that those racers who dig their rear slicks into the pavement and raise their front wheels into the air off of the starting line, are one of the race day features that makes a trip to your local drag strip a genuine gosh, darn blast!! Some racers even dare to dance "The Twist" when launching on the green bulb! October is the month that we salute all the racers and teams who campaign cars that start each and every race with a somewhat radical launch! Below we see a photo snapped at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in scenic Englishtown, New Jersey -- It's "Little Simon" in his twisting "No Time" Malibu, pulling "Out of the Hole" in spectacular fashion for the E'Town crowd!

 

 

Drag Racing Underground officially proclaims October to be "OUT OF THE HOLE" Month! Luv the wild launches!