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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

Today we have the trusty Stephanie substituting for The Doc. At this time Doc is occupied with her Big Stick music, and/or fine-art sculpture related responsibilities (as she will be increasingly frequently over the next sveral months) We believe Doc will hopefully be back on the clock for Saturday's blog installment... Of course on Friday (tomorrow), we will be running our regularly scheduled FEEDBACK FRIDAY feature, which I now editorially administrate... Please enjoy Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day... This installment features a photograph that Doc snapped in the pits at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in scenic Englishtown, New Jersey. This is from the the track's popular DIGS AT E'TOWN nostalgia and traditional drag racing series. Doc says that you can file this shot in the "And now for something completely different" file. It's an early 1960s Buick Invicta. And it sure does qualify as a rare breed of Buick, that you don't see very often at the drag strip these days. She's a real beauty and possesses the grace of an opulent queen...  If nostalgia racing turns you on, be sure to check out Drag Racing Underground's NOSTALGIA RAW and FUNNY CAR REUNION RAW dvds, by simply clicking on the "VIDEO CATALOG" link at the top center of the page. It's no secret that racing aficionados who are genuinely in the know, claim that Drag Racing Underground dvds are the most entertaining, enlightening and hardcore in all the world...

 

 

Substitute Stephanie's snapshot of the day features a rare early 1960s Buick Invicta at Raceway Park.


 

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were back home at their living compound and heavenly racing operations headquarters, after returning from a crucial assignment that teleported them to the distant year 3000. The Heavenly Drag Racing Association (H.D.R.A.) previously assigned our do-gooders to prevent drag racing from being completely wiped out of existence in the year 3000. Corrupt politicians were headstrong on abolishing the sport of drag racing at a 'heavyweights only' international legislative conference . Larry Lamb was unsuccessful in persuading the politicians to save drag racing with his brief speech at the podium. This forced Larry to metaphysically produce a mammoth-sized money bribe, paid to the corrupt Druscula Fusscula, the officiator of the Washington D.C. based conference. Of course this weighed emotionally heavy for our group, because they never paid a bribe before. Paying the bribe caused controversy among our crew, due to what can admittedly be perceived as a morally and ethically questionable strategy...

Larry Lamb receives a telepathic message from the H.D.R.A.'s top brass, and then announces to his trusty, supernatural subordinates, "The superiors at the H.D.R.A are now insisting that we create a cover-up scenario, in order to eliminate the notion that we paid the bribe to alleviate the threat of drag racing's massive extinction."... "Why is it so important that we cover up the fact we paid a bribe?" Sebastian asked... Larry replies "The HDRA believes that the fact that we paid a bribe, has leaked out through a time-traveling news-cycle cyber-eliptical virus pirate-broadcast, distributed among the drag racing afterlife's darkside-- This could open the floodgates for threats of future aggressive extortion against us. Everyone from the darkside will be looking for a big fat bribe. It's imperative that the darkside be tricked into believing that the bribe incident had nothing to do with us or the H.D.R.A.."... “Let me get this straight," Fred The Wrench blurts, "Are we now supposed to postpone our getting back on the drag strip, the job we're REALLY SUPPOSED to be doing, so that's we can make up a phony baloney story, to cover the truth of what really happened?!?"... "Yes, Fred," replies team leader Larry Lamb... "HECK WITH THIS!!!" protests Fred, "I WANTS TO GET BACK TO THE DRAG STRIP!!! I WANTS TO BE TURNIN' WRENCHES, NOT HAVING TO BE SOME KIND OF SECRET AGENT MAN COVERT OPERATIVE, 'CAUSE THAT AIN'TS MY LINE OF WORK!!!!"...

Larry and Sebastian stroll over to the main metaphysical programming console, and create a replacement scenario to erase the bribe incident from all forms of the enemy's intelligence and recorded history. They morphed time and space to create the illusion that the bribe was paid by an obscure alien being, that immediately expired after the extortion sum was paid. The crew experiences a brief sigh of relief-- But just as the crew get a brief taste of tranquility, Larry Lamb receives another urgent telepathic order from the H.D.R.A.... Larry's woolly face takes a solemn stare, and he addresses the crew, "I've just been assigned to direct this team through a mission of parallel universe enigma espionage.".... "WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?!?!" shouts Fred The Wrench. "THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE BACK ON THE RACE TRACK ANYTIME SOON!!!"... "I'm afraid not." Larry replies, "And I must tell you, Fred, this new mission requires that YOU pose undercover, as a traveling celestial carpet salesman, and you'll be wearing a radio telepathic transmitting wire, and an organically concealed telepathic earpiece for this espionage operation.".... "WHY ME?!?" shouts an unsettled Fred... "Because the brass at the H.D.R.A believe you're the most convincing looking among us, to play the role as a traveling celestial carpet salesman." replies Larry Lamb... Fred The Wrench stomps his worn and greasy work boots in further irate protest "MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION WAS TO BUILD A PERIOD CORRECT 1964 ALUMINUM HEMI PLYMOUTH STOCKER, NOT TO BE SPENDIN' MY TIME PLAYIN' THE ROLE OF A TRAVELING CELESTIAL CARPET SALESMAN!!! I'M A WRENCH!!!! I'M A MECHANIC!!!! THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS!!! THESE KIND OF ASSIGNMENTS TAKE A TOLL ON ME!!!! I AINT'S COMFORTABLE DOIN' THIS KINDA WORK!!!"

"Why does Fred have to play the role of a carpet salesman?" asks Maria... "Because that's how Fred's going to infiltrate the executive offices of the Darkside Drag Racing Association (D.D.R.A.)." replies Larry... "It's all making sense." interjects Sebastian "I'll bet the H.D.R.A. wants Fred to get into the D.D.R.A.'s offices, and find out for sure if our bribe cover-up story stuck solid with those dastardly darkside dirtbags." ... "Exactly" concurs Larry.... "Hey, that's kind of funny!" squawks Peter The Parrot, "I'll go to the wardrobe department and find a cheap suit for Fred to squeeze into. Maybe I'll see if they have a dopey looking top hat too!!"... "THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' FUNNY ABOUT THIS!!!" Fred blurts... "I agree with Fred, in that there really is nothing funny about this assignment." says Larry with authority, "As a matter of fact, this is actually an extremely serious espionage undertaking."... "I'll tell you what," says a level-headed sounding Maria, "I'll help find Fred a nice conservative though casual salesman's suit and ensemble."... "Aw shucks," squawks Peter "I wanted to make Fred look like he's a stand-in for a Death Of A Salesman off-off Broadway play!"... "Cool it." demands Larry to Peter, "Stop trying to instigate Fred into a tizzy with your wisecrack remarks."...

"So I'm supposed to act like I'm selling carpet to the sleazy kingpins over at the Darkside Drag Racin' Association's executive offices??" says a now slightly more subdued Fred, "Do I need to bring them carpet salesman sample things??"... "Yes." replies Larry, "You'll also need to develop casual and unassuming conversations with the gearhead ghouls at the D.D.R.A., and discreetly probe them for information confirming whether or not  the bribe incident is now void of any involvement of our Heavenly Drag Racing Association related operations."... "Alright, alright." acquiesces Fred, "Suit me up. Give me some carpet samples. Throw in some cheap cigars and a some chewing gum. I'm game."... "You really are a hero, Fred." says Larry, "I'm sure that after this mission is successfully completed, the H.D.R.A. will award you with plaques of appreciation."... "I don't need any more plaques of appreciation, or trophies, or fancy schmancy letters of accommodation." mumbles Fred, "How's 'bout them H.D.R.A. bosses rewarding me with our next assignment actually being at the DRAG STRIP?!?"... "I'll tell you what, Fred, my dear fellow" replies Larry Lamb, "That's my promise to you. I will make sure that the next time you go out on assignment, you're a wrench in overalls, at the drags, doing the thing I know you love to do more than anything else in all the infinite dimensions of space!"

 

 Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Well, it appears that at least for now, Fred The Wrench is accepting the fact that he's going out to do work that's not really of an on-track, or 'at-the-drags' nature. Fred has to play the role of a traveling celestial carpet salesman, who is to infiltrate and gain valuable intelligence from the executive offices of the Darkside Drag Racing Association. One can only wonder what the offices of the D.D.R.A. will be like?? And will Fred be a convincing carpet salesman?? Will he be capable of talking with the enemy, trying to discreetly gain information, without bringing any suspicion on himself???  Will he be able to find out if the metaphysical cover-up of the bribe incident stuck?!? WHERE IS THIS ALL GOING?!?!? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


The recent presidential election certainly has lots of people discussing the now highly controversial issues of our liberties and freedoms. They're the hot topics as we get this new year kicked off and see a drastic changing of the guard in our hyper heated political arena... That said, I thought today would be a fine opportunity for me to bring up the fact that out of all the different popular forms of motorsport in this nation, (and the entire world for that matter), no other offers its participants the liberty and freedom of expression that drag racing does! When it comes to drag racing, we're the most "liberated" and "liberating" of all motorsports. I believe that's something we can take some genuine pride in, it's the sort of thing that makes us stand tall above the other forms of far more "restricted" motorsports. Below I posted a photo of a 1980 Chrysler LeBaron Town & Country wagon in the Old Bridge Township Raceway Park pits. This photo positively proves that today's blog is not "fake news".... In closing, I've been asked to give you the heads-up that Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's 35th annual Spring Englishtown Swap Meet & Auto Show is scheduled for Friday-Sunday April 28th-30th. It's a great time for your entire family... Oh, and one more thing, our TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER paranormal serial series will indeed be featured on this blog page come tomorrow morning...

 

 

 

 

 


Just want to express care and concern for all our friends in Georgia, who were ravaged by severe weather, including a blistering tornado overnight Saturday into Sunday. It's my understanding that our buddies at South Georgia Motorsports Park experienced some substantial damage to their drag strip's structures. Reports of at least eighteen lives lost, many injuries and massive property damage is most disheartening news...  And our thoughts and prayers also go out to those in Mississippi who also recently suffered from a fierce tornado. Mother Nature has been hitting much of the nation hard over the last several days...

 

 


THE "SUNDAY FUNNIES" THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marv's type of behavior often has negative consequences for the drag racing scene... During the recent presidential inauguration, Marv helped amplify the current political unrest among the drag racing community, using it as an excuse to unfriend more folks on his facebook friends list, who don't share his very specific and precise political views, and he also decided to unfriend those who still pay attention to Pro Stock racing, because he believes that Pro Stock isn't "real" drag racing (further exemplifying his ignorance-- let's see Marv try his hand at Pro Stock and see how far he'd get in the ultra competitive doorslammer class). And Marv also unfriended a heap of women just for kicks-- You see, although Marvin likes to pretend he likes the ladies, when you get down to it, Marvin doesn't REALLY like women very much at all (he believes that women don't have a place in drag racing, unless of course, they're scantly clad back-up girls, or servers at the beer garden). Marv is one of those snerts on the internet who tries so bloody hard to rile up trouble... When dorks like Marv get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of debbie-downer dingbat dissent that fools like Marv dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to the blowhard bullying...

 

 


Perhaps you remember a few months ago, when we were publishing the results of presidential election polling among members of the drag racing community right here on this page. We called it our "PRESIDENTIAL BURNDOWN" feature. It was the brainchild of my MIT genius grad associates, and it wound up generating more vicious hate mail than any of us would have ever imagined! So, I personally decided to terminate the feature, due to the degree of borderline threatening emails received from drag racing folks just for bringing up the issue of presidential politics. It was downright toxic... And now, I'm afraid that after yesterday's so-called "peaceful transfer of presidential power"  it appears as if the politics of it all is slicing a vicious wedge between those who are Donald Trump supporters and those who are not... I know that many of my regular readers are NOT participants on the "hipster" Facebook "social media" format, and don't particularly like when I bring up the subject of facebook here, but please bear with me-- You see, what's currently happening on facebook, is serious instability and unrest between drag racing folks with opposing political views and principles. Hate speech is heating up among members of the drag racing community who were once the best of friends, now, they're the worst of mortal enemies. And it's only getting worse, especially after yesterday's controversial inaugural activities in Washington D.C....  As if the drag racing internet wasn't already enough of a mess with all its blowhard bullies who pollute it, now we've got politics turning it into a virtual explosive minefield. How long is this going to last? What will be the final result of all this hateful confrontation between drag fans of opposing political convictions?? How much damage is this going to do to the sport?? Will people come to their senses and realize all the damage this is doing to relations in the drag racing community??  I'll try to keep an eye on the situation and offer an objective outlook on this page through the coming months... I'm really so sorry that politics are now hurting the unity of our drag racing community...  This sport has enough stupid problems already... We sure don't need this monkey wrench gettin' thrown into the mix... Oh well...

 

 


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog announcing that Old Bridge Township Raceway Park will be conducting NHRA Chassis Certification on Saturday, March 18th (pre-registration is required by March 13th), prompted Bob from Lyndhurst, NJ to write, "Thanks to Doc for the heads up. My partner will be calling the Raceway office to register our new car for certification. See you at the track later this year!"... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Tracy from all the way in Kotzebue, Alaska said, "Maybe you should change the name of your story to TALES OF FRED THE WRENCH instead of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER? The plot often seems like it's more about Fred than Sebastian!"-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "Let Fred build his period correct '64 Hemi stocker, and dump the espionage role. Let the old guy be happy for a change!"-- Thanks to all of you Phantom Racer fans who wrote in this week... My blog featuring a pic of yours truly standing next to Jim Slovak's way-cool circa 1966 dragster caused Clay from Sandy Hook, CT to chime in, "Doc looks pretty next to that front engined dragster. Please don't forget to give us the date for the 2017 Old Time Drags race at Englishtown."-- Elaine from Grosse Pointe Wood, MI said, "I want that incredible sundress that Doc is wearing in the photo!"... My blog in celebration of Martin Luther King Day brought on lots of positive reactions. Roger from Gate City, VA wrote, "It was good to see Malcolm Durham mentioned among Doc's list of black racers who made a difference. Keep up the good work."... Our so-called 'SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL'  managed to get Raymond from Dover, DEL in a bit of a rage. "It's jerks like Marvin who ruin nostalgia drag racing for the rest of us. Tell Marvin to put a sock in it!"... My blog expressing concern for the people in our nation affected by Winter Storm Jupiter caused Trisha from Blackburn, OK to write, "Freezing rain sucks! Thanks to Doc for showing that you people in the northeast really do give a hoot about us in Oklahoma."... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


Here's a helpful heads-up for our many racer friends in the northeastern region of the nation... Saturday March 18th, Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey, will be conducting its 2017 NHRA CHASSIS CERTIFICATION program. If you wish to apply, you must pre-register with the Raceway Park office by March 13th. The chassis certification process will happen rain or shine. There will be absolutely no drag racing the day of the chassis certification. Please spread the word about this event to fellow racers, race car builders/fabricators, etc... More information can be obtained at racewaypark.com

 

 


 

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were back home at their living compound and heavenly racing operations base, after returning from a crucial assignment that teleported them to the year 3000. The Heavenly Drag Racing Association (H.D.R.A.) previously assigned our do-gooders to prevent drag racing from being wiped out of existence in 3000. Corrupt politicians were headstrong on abolishing the sport of drag racing at a 'heavyweights only' international legislative conference . Larry Lamb was unsuccessful in persuading the politicians to save drag racing with his brief speech at the podium. This forced Larry to metaphysically produce a mammoth-sized money bribe, paid to the corrupt Druscula Fusscula, the officiator of the Washington D.C. based conference. Of course this weighed emotionally heavy for our group, because they never paid a bribe before. Paying the bribe caused controversy among our crew, due to what can admittedly be perceived as a morally and ethically questionable strategy...

Larry Lamb gets a telepathic message over his hybrid-micro-vision presentation anatomy-installed screen, and announces to his crew, "Listen to this, our superiors at the Heavenly Drag Racing Association, are now insisting that we create a cover-up scenario, in order to cast doubt on the notion that we paid a bribe to alleviate the threat of drag racing's possible extinction."... "You're kidding, boss?!?" squawks Peter The Parrot... "No." replies Larry Lamb, "The HDRA brass are absolutely serious about this."... "Why is it so important that we cover up the fact that a bribe was paid?" Sebastian asked... "You see, dear boy," replies Larry, "The HDRA believes that the fact we paid a bribe, has somehow leaked out through a time-traveling news cycle virus, that's widely distributed among the drag racing afterlife's darkside, and this could open the floodgates for threats of future extortion against us. Everyone from the darkside will be looking for a big, fat bribe. Therefore, it's imperative that the darkside be tricked into believing that the bribe incident DID NOT happen, and that it was simply what's commonly known as 'fake news'"... "Huh, fake news???" interjects Maria, "What the dandelion is that?!?... "Evidently, my dear, Maria." replies Larry Lamb, "During the beginning of the millennial 2000, world political operatives created what is now known as 'fake news', basically, they were able to lie to large numbers of the population, essentially fooling them into believing things that simply are not based entirely in truth."...

“Let me get this straight," Fred The Wrench blurts, "Are we now supposed to postpone our getting back on the drag strip, the job we're REALLY supposed to be doing, so that's we can make up some kind of phony baloney story, to discredit the truth of what really DID happen, like paying that blasted bribe?!?"... "Yes, Fred," replies Larry Lamb, "This will indeed temporarily delay our embarking on any actual drag racing assignments."... "HECK WITH THIS CRUMB-BUM-BILLY-BOB COVER UP!!!" protests Fred, "I WANTS TO GET BACK TO THE DRAG STRIP!!! I WANTS TO BE TURNIN' WRENCHES, NOT HAVING TO BE SOME KIND OF SECRET AGENT MAN OPERATIVE, 'CAUSE THAT AIN'TS MY LINE OF WORK!!!"...  "Hmmm" comes back Larry, "You haven't gotten this loud and boisterous in protest about anything since before you left us for a couple weeks in the summer, for your morale-boosting, anger-management therapy, Fred."...  "THAT'S RIGHT, BOSS!! I CAN'TS HOLD BACK MY AGITATION FROM THE DIRECTION OUR WORK IS TAKING US!!!" shouts Fred, "I GOTS TO GET BACK TO THE DRAGS, OR I'M GONNA HAVE AN EVENTUAL RELAPSE, BACK TO BEING OLD ORNERY FRED!!!! AND I SWEAR ON MY BEST SET OF TOOLS THAT I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!!!"... "Point taken, Fred." Larry politely replies, "However, it's imperative that we all work together on this, or we may never be able to deal dominantly with the darkside of the drag racing afterlife ever again. If the darkside were to begin pinching us with extortion demanding bribes, that's a game we may never be able to win, no matter how great we do on the drag strip. So please bear with this all, Fred. Please try to understand the importance of this in the grand scheme of our work."

"Isn't there a recently developed formula of time warp manipulation, that can distort all existing memories and recorded metaphysical media of the bribe incident?" blurts Sebastian.... "Yes." replies Larry Lamb, "To do that, we must come up with a replacement scenario of events to cancel out our actions that we wish erased and distorted from time."... "How about making it look like the bribe came from an alien entity who then ceased to exist shortly after the bribe was paid?" interjects Maria... "Yes, Maria!" replies Larry Lamb, "That's a bang-up good show of an idea!"... Larry motions with his woolly head for Sebastian to follow him to the metaphysical programming console. The two start engaging buttons, turning knobs, manipulating the moment in time when the bribe was paid, realizing that it's important that the corrupt conference officiator and his ilk still have the money, because not only did the bribe save drag racing, but it also was agreed that half of the massive bribe money was to be used to help all the oppressed people of the world, suffering in poverty in the year 3000...  After a few minutes of intense concentration at the console, Larry Lamb exclaims "We did it! We created a warp in time, that distorts the facts, giving the appearance that an alien life form that subsequently self imploded, is the one who paid the bribe, not me, so now the bribe can't be traced back to our organization!"... "And it also distorts that corrupt Druscula Fusscula's memory, so he recalls the incident in a way that cancels out any and all memories of Larry and all of us." adds a smiling Sebastian...

Just as our gang share a collective sigh of relief, leader Larry Lamb receives another urgent telepathic order from the Heavenly Drag Racing Association... Larry's facial expression goes from conservative jubilation to a solemn stare... "What's the matter, boss?!?" squawks Peter The Parrot, "You look like the HDRA just sent you a troubling message!!"... Larry pauses, gains his composure and addresses the crew, "I've just been assigned to direct this team through a mission of parallel universe enigma espionage.".... "WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?!?!" shouts Fred The Wrench. "THAT SURE DON'T SOUND LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE BACK ON THE RACE TRACK!!!"... "I'm afraid not, Fred my boy," Larry replies, "And I must tell you, Fred, uh, this new mission will require that YOU pose as a traveling celestial carpet salesman from Boise, Idaho, and you must wear a radio transmitting wire and a concealed earpiece for the espionage operation.".... "WHY ME?!?" yells a now visibly unsettled Fred... "Because appearance wise," replies Larry, "The brass at the HDRA believe you're the most convincing looking among all of us, to play the role as a traveling celestial carpet salesman."... "LISTEN!!!! MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION WAS TO BUILD A PERIOD CORRECT 1964 ALUMINUM HEMI PLYMOUTH STOCKER, NOT TO BE SPENDIN' MY TIME PLAYIN'  A SECRET AGENT MAN, IN THE ROLE OF A TRAVELING CELESTIAL CARPET SALESMAN!!! I AIN'TS TRAINED FOR ESPIONAGE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!!! I'M A WRENCH!!!! I'M A MECHANIC!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS THIS NEW ASSIGNMENT ALL ABOUT ANYWAYS?!?!?"... 

 

 Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Well, we certainly don't want to see all this sort of non-mechanical work send Fred The Wrench into a relapse, digressing him back to his old, overly ornery personality. But you must admit, Fred does make a point, his job assignment is far more designated as being a metaphysically masterful drag racing mechanic, than constantly always having to drop his tools, and then play a part in some heavenly covert afterlife espionage operation. Do you think this newest assignment is still somehow related to the bribe incident's cover-up?? Will Fred The Wrench be able to keep his emotions and mental state in check, long enough to get through this latest diversion from the drag strip and the kind of work Fred really enjoys doing??!? We don't even know the full details of the new assignment yet!!!  We'll know much more about the new assignment in next week's installment!!! WHERE IS THIS ALL GOING?!?!? WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


As much of our nation's blanketed with snow, ice and chilly weather, it does the spirit good to reflect on warmer times spent at the drags this past summer. Below I posted a photo of yours truly standing next to Jim Slovak's "Potential H-Bomb" circa 1966 digger, powered by a potent Chevy 396 stuffed between the frame rails. Keith Soden is a trusty crew member. The team took runner-up honors in the hotly contested "Backseat Driver's Club" class (front engined dragsters), at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's OLD TIME DRAGS event, which incidentally is the longest running nostalgia themed drag race in the entire United States of America. I believe the OLD TIME DRAGS will be happening at E'Town this year towards the end of July (as it usually does). I will keep you posted on a confirmed date for the nostalgia drag race as soon as it becomes available to me.