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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

I wish today was a day when it'd be appropriate to just talk about normal drag racing related subject matter, but with the unsettling tracking we're seeing of Hurricane Irma, I feel compelled to say a few words for all our brothers and sisters of Florida and the many islands in Irma's destructive path... You're all in our thoughts and prayers. It's clearly understood that this storm is packing a strong punch of dangerous winds and fiendish flooding factors. I hope that if you've been instructed to evacuate, that you're able to "get out of Dodge" as they say. I know it's a cliche' that you're probably sick of hearing at this point, however, it is true that houses, apartments and many material things can be replaced over time, but not your life -- that's precious -- so try to be smart for you and your family members-- if there's an evacuation order, please follow it. Try to stay strong and out of harm's way.

 

 


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog promoting the upcoming Inaugural NITRO REVIVAL scheduled for Saturday September 30 at Barona Drag Strip in Lakeside Ca, caused Cindy Gibbs and lots of you folks to write with positive vibes . Eugene from Blue Lake, CA wrote, "Thanks to the Doc for plugging the NITRO REVIVAL nostalgia race. I trust that Steve Gibbs knows what he's doing. I'm planning to attend!" -- Rudy from Malaga, CA said, "Doc is right. I want to be able to say that I went to the first NITRO REVIVAL Us west coasters love Doc for her valuable support of the event."... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Ian from all the way in Chesham, England said, "With Larry being a lamb, I find it ironic that with lambs usually perceived as the gentle ones of the animal kingdom, that he's in the position of such stern authority."-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "Larry Lamb's right on the money. Maria played her role with the darkside beatnik sand draggers perfectly. It was the guys who screwed up!"... My blog titled 'INDY'S KNOWN FOR MORE THAN DEEP-FRIED SAUERKRAUT BALLS', where I congratulated all the winners of NHRA'S U.S. Nationals prompted Andrew from Lodi, NJ to write, "Thanks for recognizing local boy done good Eddie Krawiec. When he took the Pro Stock Motorcycle win I felt Jersey strong!"... My blog honoring drag racing's laborers on Labor Day resulted in Susan from Hanover, PA to write, "Having two family members who crew for traveling pro teams, I sure appreciate Doc bringing to light the importance of the hard work they do."... Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Karen from Driggs, ID in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "Marvin's opinion of women and children reminds me of my disgraced grandfather who was in the KKK. He's nothing but a disgusting pig of a man!"... My blog proclaiming September as officially being SPORTSMAN RACER APPRECIATION MONTH generated a whole heap of emails. George from East Granby, CT wrote, "Doc has always been the friend of the little guys and sportsman racers. Giving us a whole month of honor is really appreciated! Please keep up the good work you do!"...  Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


I've been asked to give a promotional push for a nostalgia oriented shindig that's happening on the west coast later this month. It's called the NITRO REVIVAL ("And Reunion of, by and for Racers"). Steve Gibbs, a gentleman who spent a good part of his life serving with the National Hot Rod Association is the founding father and organizer behind it all, and he's a fellow with a genuinely stellar reputation as being a loyal friend to the old school drag racing community for many years. The exciting event takes place on Saturday, September 30th at Barona Drag Strip in scenic Lakeside, California. This is the very first (inaugural) debut of the race, so it'd sure be nice if lots of folks would show up and provide their support. And wouldn't you like to be able to say that you attended the first one? -- Of course you would!!... I had my trusty assistant Stephanie place a poster for the event with more details below. I strongly encourage you to consider this gala gearhead gathering that's just weeks away... BE THERE!!!...

 


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were finally back home at their racing compound/headquarters, after being assigned by the Heavenly Drag Racing Association for a revolutionary mission of mayhem  -- a mission that FINALLY facilitated Maria's repeated requests to the H.D.R.A. administration, to give her the opportunity to drive a race car in competition. This assignment had the team competing in the Darkside Drag Racing Association's 'Planet X Program' -- a program featuring ONLY female drivers from the darkside of the drag racing afterlife, who race and behave in fiendish fashion --  A beach dragster 'bikini league' that subscribes to a sleazy, "beatnik beach party" culture of lewd, hedonistic depravity. Maria was fortunate enough to put sand digger champ 'Dastardly Darla' on the trailer, however, she then found herself and our do-gooder crew in a tricky situation, as the race's 'after party'  kicked into an event of hyper-sleazy activity, resulting in uncomfortable social consequences for our morally and ethically upstanding team...

It was a race 'after party' of debauchery that became difficult for our do-gooder guys to convincingly endure. 'Dastardly Darla' and the darkside girls were dancing in a lewd manner to blaring beatnik music. All the gruesome darkside guys were lustfully watching the women dance. A bikini wearing Maria bravely decided that for the sake of the mission, she'd maintain her 'low-life lady' masquerade, participating in the hedonistic dancing. Sticking around to endure the 'after party' was to give our do-gooder crew the opportunity of further infiltrating this unruly gang, and gaining valuable 'opposition intelligence'. All the gruesome beatnik guys were occasionally rotating their ghastly heads, and drooling like rabid dogs in heat at the dancing women. Some of the beatnik guys, including 'Dastardly Darla's' mechanic Slitzy, and his sleazy sidekick Stosh, noticed that our crew of fellows, Larry, Sebastian, Fred and Peter, were the ONLY guys on the beach who WEREN'T drooling, panting and spinning their heads in lust like the rest of the low-life beatniks were-- This stark contrast in behavior resulted in the guys of our crew being 'found out' for who they really are, covert spies of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association, and then, they were subsequently overcome and  imprisoned by the sand dragging beatniks of the Darkside Drag Racing Association...

Fortunately, Larry Lamb discreetly reached into a secret compartment of his woolly suit, and activated a micro-sized emergency teleportation device, that enabled our crew to escape, by teleporting them back to their home base. Sebastian, Fred The Wrench, Maria, Peter The Parrot, Larry Lamb and their sand digger metaphysically materialized back at their heavenly headquarters teleportation station. All our do-gooders breathed a huge sigh of relief... "I can't believe you got us out of there, boss!!!" squawked Peter The Parrot to Larry Lamb "You must have had some kind of trick up your sleeve!!!:.. "No," replied Larry Lamb in a cool and collected tone "It wasn't up my sleeve, dear boy, it was a tiny-micro teleportation device that I always keep hidden in my secret right front woolly pocket compartment."... Everyone rejoices collectively in happy harmony... "I'll make us some of my soothing celestial tea." says Maria as she and everyone else walks towards the kitchen table to reflect and unwind from their unsettling assignment... "Uh, make mine a coffee, black." blurts Fred The Wrench... "I know, I know, Fred," replies Maria, "You always prefer a strong black coffee instead of my special celestial tea blend."...

As Maria prepares beverages at the kitchen counter, Larry Lamb speaks in a firm tone to his subordinates, "Listen, we're extremely lucky that I was able to get us out of that darkside beatnik beach party imprisonment, if we don't work smarter, next time we might not be so lucky -- That said, we must all remember, that no matter how determined we are to gather valuable opposition intelligence, we have to know our limits, and how far we should go in our pursuit, and most importantly, know when it's time to be content with what we've achieved and then split the scene, before it's too late to do so, and we find ourselves in a difficult bind like we just did with those belligerent beatniks."... "I hear what you're sayin', boss." mumbles Fred The Wrench as he puts his head down in slight shame... "Me too." squawks Peter The Parrot... "I guess we got kind of greedy," adds Maria "I thought I was doing a good job of masquerading as a low life beatnik bikini chick."... "Oh, you were," replies Larry Lamb, "It was all us guys who blew the mission by not drooling like dogs at the dancing girls like the beatniks were. Not you, Maria. You deserve a lot of credit for playing your part flawlessly. We fellows made the mistake of letting our high morality get in the way of executing our roles of the mission."... "Yes," chimes in Sebastian, "All of us guys, including myself, should have done a much better job of playing the role of depraved degenerates."... "Yes," concurs Larry Lamb "It was us guys who blew our cover with the dirtbags, not Maria."...

Maria pours Fred's black coffee, and then the rest of the crew's celestial tea and sits down with everyone else at the kitchen table... "I also want all of you to work on improving your supernatural skills," continues Larry Lamb with a stern vocal delivery of authority "Your skills of telepathy, clairvoyance, alchemy manipulation and psychic telekinesis are definitely worth practicing and sharpening, those are the skills that need to be combined with our basic drag racing skills, to insure that we're prepared for anything the dastardly ghouls of the darkside throw our way. You all must clearly understand, that as the Heavenly Drag Racing Association continues to assign us far more tougher and challenging assignments, you're all going to need to be far more focused and on your game. This noble duty of ours is not going to be getting any easier, the level of difficulty and need for excellence in performance is going to dramatically increase. You all need to improve your metaphysical skills-- This is not just a suggestion, this is an order you all need to seriously heed, if we're to survive and successfully execute our future missions!"... With all that sternly said, leader Larry Lamb then proceeds to rise up from his kitchen chair to get a fresh box of Lorna Doone shortbread cookies (his favorite cookie treat for dunking in piping-hot celestial tea) out of one of the kitchen cabinets...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  It appears Larry Lamb is certainly taking his role as our crew's leader pretty seriously, after that close call that our do-gooder gang experienced at the hands of the low-life beatniks of the Darkside Drag Racing Association's sand dragster scene. While Larry was able to save his underlings from the scary predicament of eternal imprisonment by the dirtbag beatniks, he found it necessary when they all got home, to stress some important points of needed improvement, that his subordinates respectfully listened to and absorbed. We're seeing a more stern Larry Lamb, we're seeing a metaphysically motivated lamb who takes his leadership responsibilities of the heavenly drag racing afterlife very seriously... WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


Let's get one thing straight, Indianapolis, Indiana, is known for a heck of a lot more than its "delicious deep-fried sauerkraut balls", that our wise-cracking Franky, of our highly controversial "Franky & Felicia" NHRA race predicting duo gives it credit for!!... Fact is, Indianapolis, Indiana, is famous for hosting what is arguably the most prestigious of races on the grueling NHRA tour -- We're talkin' about the huge Chevrolet Performance U.S. Nationals at Lucas Oil Raceway... This past Labor Day weekend proved to be yet another spectacular running of the U.S. Nationals. Today I want to congratulate those who made it all the way to the winners circle... Steve Torrence captured his first Top Fuel Indy win in his Capco Construction dragster. Torrence was also victorious in the Traxxas Nitro Shootout (a race within a race). This was his 7th win of the season, and 15th of his career... J.R. Todd is an Indianapolis native who won the Funny Car honors. In the final he beat reigning NHRA flopper champ Ron Capps with his DHL Toyota Camry. It was Todd's first Indy win and 2nd for the season of his Funny Car career... Drew Skillman beat Greg Anderson in the final round to take the Pro Stock "Wally" trophy home. It was his first Indy win, 4th of the season, and 7th of his career at the wheel of his Ray Skillman Chevrolet backed Camaro... All of us around here who are part of the Old Bridge Township Raceway Park family, are proud that Englishtown alumnus Eddie Krawiec rode his Screamin' Eagle/Vance & Hines Harley Davidson to clinch his second Indy win, third of the season and 39th of his career. Eddie defeated Hector Arana Jr. in the final. It's also worth noting that Eddie was the No.#1 qualifier of the field... Other winners include Josh Hart - Top Alky Dragster, John Lombardo Jr. - Top Alky F/C, Brad Plourd - Comp Eliminator, Kevin Helms - Super Stock, Larry Gilley - Stock Eliminator, Kevin Adams - Super Gas, Sidnei Frigo - Pro Mod, David Barton - Factory Stock Showdown, James Daniels - Mopar Hemi Challenge, Jack Beckman - Traxxas F/C Shootout and Brian Spotts - Gassers... Another great U.S. Nationals in the history books!! Next race on the schedule is the 10th annual NHRA Carolina Nationals at zMAX Dragway September 15th-17th...

 

 

Congrats to Old Bridge Township Raceway Park alumnus Eddie Krawiec on his Indy Pro Stock Motorcycle win. 


HONORING DRAG RACING'S "LABORERS" ON THIS LABOR DAY 2017...

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Today is Labor Day... I want to to salute the hard working laborers who make up the drag racing teams that compete in NHRA, IHRA, and all the other various grueling, competitive racing circuits in our sport. Yeah, those who labor so tirelessly, doing the dirty and often under-appreciated "grunt work" are the people who I'm giving my tip of the hat to on this Labor Day 2017. They're the individuals getting dirt under their fingernails, breaking a sweat while turning wrenches, changing tires in the blink of an eye, often in the extreme heat and humidity (the REAL "working conditions" at the drag strip)-- I'm talking about those drag racing workers who don't make the zillions of dollars, don't have the media constantly asking them to pose for pictures, the laborers of the sport who certainly are NOT a "household name"... They are the "UNSUNG HEROES" of drag racing... I ask all my readers on this Labor Day to please take a brief moment while enjoying your barbecue, and playing a fun-spirited game of "Bikini Twister" on the backyard deck with your friends, to please think of those in our sport who perform the hard labor, whether it be the folks toiling in the pit crew, or those who do the backbreaking "track prep" and "clean-up" at your local strip, or the panting photographers selflessly sweating bullets out on the unmerciful, sun-sizzling starting line to document the sport for posterity... Just take a moment to have a thought of appreciation for those who have to use their muscles, and don't ever have the "luxury" of "complaining" or "whining" when they get "tired" -- I'm talkin' 'bout those at the drags who perform all the manual labor while still maintaining a strong and admirable work ethic, the kind of work ethic that's so deeply rooted in our nation's earliest of true-grit pioneering spirit... I know that an awful lot of you drag racing grunt workers read this blog religiously, and I want you to know that there are people like me in this drag racing business who genuinely appreciate all you do for this sport...

 

 

This Labor Day 2017, I ask that while you're barbecuing, partying, and playing a game of "Bikini Twister" with friends on the deck, that you please take a brief moment to give some thought to those who labor so tirelessly at the nation's many drag strips.


Being that today is in fact Sunday, we present our regularly scheduled "THE SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" feature, to help in eliminating the sic and grotesque epidemic of drag racing internet trolling and bullying... We'd also like to offer you a link today to a special feature written by John Leland of the NY TIMES that appears online https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/31/nyregion/raceway-park-englishtown-photographs.html The story also appears in today's SUNDAY TIMES printed edition. There's quotes from Drag Racing Underground's own John Gill towards the end of the piece. It's about Wednesday Night Drag Racing at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. It's a neat photo essay (Stephanie).

Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way in which blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marvin's brand of belligerent behavior often has negative consequences for the collective drag racing scene... Marvin aggressively seeks out internet postings by women and young folk who he deems to be 'pesky' (because they don't fit in to his preferred ornery oriented demographic), and tries desperately to pick apart and dissect each and every single word they typed, often claiming the facts are wrong, even if he knows that they are really right-- Anything to create a confrontation laced with lewd language and 'f bombs' is merry sport for Marvin (using 'f bombs' sure makes Marvin feel more 'macho' and more like he's a 'big man')... When dorks like Marvin get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of 'debby-downer' dingbat dissent that fools like Marvin dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless nagging negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a 'family friendly' place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to Marvin's brand of blowhard bullying...

 

 

Marvin is a mess! The problem of blowhard bullies like him on the drag racing internet needs to be addressed!


Here at Drag Racing Underground, we're now officially proclaiming that September is Sportsman Racing Appreciation Month... That's right, anyone who really knows their drag racing, are well aware that it's the Sportsman Racers who serve as the so-called "backbone of the sport". There are more than 200 different classes of vehicles featured in NHRA competition, and the mass majority of 'em are Sportsman classes. There's a whole lot of Sportsman classes to discover, including Stock, Super Stock, Super Street, Comp, Super Comp, Alcohol Diggers n' Floppers, and Top Sportsman among several others... Besides Sportsman Racing being a big part of national events, it's also makes up the thick of the sanctioning body's divisional racing series. Next time you go to the drags, take a walk through the pits and peruse all the many Sportsman Racing teams, appreciate all the effort they put into their strong competitive spirit -- It's a part of the drag racing world that often gets overlooked by many who don't take the time to explore it, however, Sportsman Racing is a facet of the drag racing world that's certainly worthy of all our appreciation.

 

 

Drag Racing Underground is officially proclaiming that September is "Sportsman Racing Appreciation Month".


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog featuring the return of Franky's & Felicia's winners picks for the NHRA U.S. Nationals, after Franky's lengthy suspension for questionable behavior, resulted in droves of emails of many mixed opinions. Alex from San Bernardino, CA wrote "Thanks for finally bringing Franky's & Felicia's picks back for Indy. I missed their weird approach to drag racing. Please don't dump them just because they anger some of the thin skinned readers who don't have a sense of humor! They crack me up!"-- On the far other side of the opinion fence, Dean from Staunton, VA wrote, "What the hell does Franky's childhood story of throwing deep fried sauerkraut balls in an Indiana restaurant have to do with the U.S. Nationals in Indiana? You should have made his suspension permanent!"-- And Sarah from Fallon, NV said "Felicia's obsession with Leah Pritchett's eyebrows is ridiculous. How pretty Leah's eyebrows are have no affect on her driving a top fuel dragster!"... Wednesday's regularly scheduled TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series was postponed until next week, due to me wanting to pay tribute to the passing of my old friend Joe Jacono. My blog paying respects to Joe resulted in lots of you also chiming in. Aaron from Pittsfield, MA wrote, "I remember when I was young, seeing Joe race dragsters before he ran funny cars. He was one of the friendliest racers."-- Charlie from Gulfport, FL said, "Doc's tribute to Joe Jacono made this old man cry. It was an article that touched on the heart of drag racing."... My blog expressing thoughts and prayers for the victims of Hurricane Harvey, caused quite a reaction. Angela from Houston, TX said, "Please hug Doc for me. Her words of understanding helped me and my family."-- Randy from Beaumont, TX wrote, "Doc's photo by the big Texas flag said a lot to me. Knowing she cares so much about us makes the day better."... My blog praising the racers, fans and Raceway Park staff for the success of last Sunday's DIGS AT E'TOWN old school drag event  inspired Donald from Montclair, NJ to write, "Meeting Doc at The Digs was the highlight of my whole Summer. The old school drag racing is the best at Englishtown. I'll be at the Monster Bash in October too!"-- Seth from Mineola, NY said, "The Digs are a trip! I had the time of my life. Thanks to Doc for the heads up about it in her blogs.".. Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


 

Please meet Drag Racing Underground's NHRA race-winner-predicting-duo from Queens, New York. We'd like to introduce Franky & Felicia. They're a couple of sweethearts who have a love for drag racing, and have asked that we give them a shot at making race predictions. They persistently insisted to us that they have what it takes to get the job done. We're continuing to bring them to you now for their third season!! They definitely were not without controversy during their first two seasons!!... Feel free to send us your opinion of them by using the "Contact Us" link at the top of this page... For those of you missing Mike & Barbara, we regret to report that they've been cancelled... Without further ado, we proudly present to you Franky & Felicia and their NHRA predictions...


Franky: Yo! Me and my hot little lady are stoked 'bout giving youse our picks for this weekend's historic Chevrolet Performance U.S. Nationals at Lucas Oil Raceway in Indianapolis, Indiana. Ya know, Indiana is one of my favorite states outside of New Yawk. When I was a little kid, my whole family made the long drive from New York to visit my cousins in Indiana. I remember Indiana had the best deep-fried sauerkraut balls I've ever tasted. My family got thrown out of an Indiana restaurant on account of me throwing some hot sauerkraut balls at another kid who was making snide remarks about a NY Mets t-shirt I was wearing. That's part of a long story that I ain't necessarily sure I wanna tell. Anyways, I'd be remiss if I didn't say anything about me being suspended from Drag Racing Underground for over a month. All's I'm gonna say is that I don't think it was fair to keep me and Felicia away from all our fans for so freakin' long. Yeah, I called DRU's Stephanie and her hubby's luxury estate in Jersey a "friggin' dump", and I got in a messy traffic altercation brawl on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway, and yeah, maybe me and my ex girlfriend had an outstanding warrant for selling pirated movies on Canal Street, yada, yada, yada, whatever, whatever... Hopefully the DRU brass will lighten up and keep me and Felicia doing these racing picks for the rest of the season. Anyways, pull up a chair and read what me and Felicia got to say to youse 'bout the NHRA U.S. Nationals!

Felicia: Right on, Franky, you gorgeous hunk of a man! I thoughts you sez you wasn't gonna talk about anything related to the New Yawk Mets? You promised that you wasn't going to talk about The Mets as much this season, like ya did last season! Drag Racing Underground will be gettin' lots of emails again from all the people complaining about you talkin' 'bout the Mets on this DRAG RACING web page! And I'm glad your long suspension is FINALLY over! We was gone from here waaay too long! My Top Fuel pick for Indianapolis is Leah Pritchett. She won last week at Brainerd. And like I've said many times before, she's got da best darn eyebrows of any of the other dames in the dragster class. I wish I could get my eyebrows to look like hers-- I really do wish dat quite frequently. Watch Leah Pritchett and her Papa John's Pizza powered digger set this weekend on fire at Indy!

Franky: No way is Leah Pritchett gonna win at Indianapolis.  And I don't mean any offense to all the Leah Pritchett fans out there in cyberland, but give me a friggin' break. I know you think she's a shoo-in 'cause she won Brainerd and got multiple wins this year and all that, but I ain't seein' dat happen, dollface. I'm going with Brittany Force and her Monster Energy dragster. I was jumping up and down when she finally won her first event of the year at Epping, New Hampshire. And she blew the timing equipment up recording a unbelievable 332.75 mph pass at Brainerd last week. I know that everyone is gonna send me wisecracking emails for picking Brittany again. So many clowns like calling me a "fanboy" for persistently  picking the highly funded Force girls, but who cares? I'm really feeling that Brittany and her crack crew are gonna dispense some serious whoop ass on the tough NHRA U.S. Nationals field!

Felicia: That sounds corny, Franky. It don't sound like you, using that old tired 'whoop ass' expression?? I thinks maybe you're being coached what to say again by that cockeyed blowhard cousin Enzo of yours from Jersey?!?... I thinks your desire to pick Brittany Force is a form of blinded prognostication. My pick for Funny Car at the U.S. Nationals is Alexis DeJoria. Her Patron Toyota Camry seems to have its combo gettin' dialed in pretty sweet lately, especially since she won her first race of the season last week at Brainerd.  I like her a lot 'cause she aint's afraid to speak her mind just like a real Queens, New Yawk gal like me. She's a cool cookie! I gots that feeling in my belly that Alexis and her Kalitta teammates are gonna get the job done, unless of course, that feeling in my belly is from last night's funky onion dip at our Billy Joel Queens NY chapter fan club party??

Franky: Fugget about Alexis DeJoria she's not the racer I see making headlines this weekend. I respect the gal, BUT this U.S. Nationals ain't gonna be her race by any stretch of your overactive imagination, my fragrant Felicia. My crystal ball is showing me images of Courtney Force in the U.S. Nationals Funny Car winner's circle. She's a skilled broad who always qualifies strong . She won the Traxxas Shootout fan vote lottery thing, so I obviously ain't the only  person who thinks she's a competitive contender. I know that Courtney's got ants in her firepants to score a victory this weekend! Sure, I'll get called a "fanboy" 'cause of me pickin' a celeb like Courtney, but I don't care. I gots thick skin just like my hero Billy Joel. I'm  predicting Courtney's bark to be just as vicious as her bite and that she'll be making some Funny Car history this weekend!

Felicia: Ya know, I hates to say dis, Franky, but I just don't thinks Courtney is going to be all that for this coming U.S. Nationals event. Sorry 'bout dat, even though I admire her for handling a nitro car wit da best of 'em, I don't see her winning in Indiana. And I thinks you got that whole bite and bark thing backwards... Ya know, I get a lot of flack from many of you readers about me always talkin' 'bout myself, likes I ain't supposed to talk about myself?!? Geeeez, what kinda fun can a gal have if she ain't talkin' 'bout herself?!? Many of you smarty pants complain about me to management, 'cause you thinks I'm nothin' but a crazy bird from Queens. Whatever... For this weekend's race, I'm making me a Pro Stock pick that I've repeatedly made a few time already this season, though unlike Franky, at least I ain't been makin' the same Pro Stock pick of picking, uh, Erica Enders, for the last two years, jeeez!! I gots an itch on my shoulder to pick 2nd generation sensation Vincent Nobile for Pro Stock. I like guys from Dix Hills, New Yawk. And I thinks that Nobile and his Mountainview Tire Camaro team are gonna win that new 'battle of the burnouts' contest that NHRA is havin' at Indy. I believe Nobile and crew are gonna turn on the heavy, honeybuns!

Franky: I don't agree, sweetcakes. I thinks you're delusional with that Pro Stock pick. I realize that Vincent Nobile is one tough doorslammin' guy, and I like the fact that he's sorta from our neck of the woods, but I'm just not feelin' him as hitting a winning note at the U.S. Nationals. And I sure don't appreciate you crackin' wise about my longtime admiration for Erica Enders, Felicia! Once again, you can bet that 'm stickin' to my guns, staying loyal, and betting all my jollyrocks on Erica Enders. I'm still psyched about Erica's earlier season win at Epping. She proved that ya gotta believe!  I still believe that she's developing her old winning swagger back at the wheel of her Chevy Camaro.  Her reaction times are still fierce. I'm also excited 'bout her participating in the SAM Tech Factory Stock Showdown at Indy!  And yeah, I can see all the hate mail coming my way now. All the haters who call me a "fanboy" because I still root for Erica, they gets me madder than Billy Joel driving his car through a Long Island pizzeria's window!! Erica Enders is a serious racer when she's out on the track, she sort of reminds me of how you get, Felicia, when you're playing dodge ball with those wise-cracking kids down at the Queens Borough Youth Recreation Center. You get that really intense game face of yours going on just like Erica does when she's driving.

Felicia: I hopes we did good, honey.

Franky: We picked 'em babe. 'Cause we're a couple of classy winners who know how to pick da winners.