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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

 

Please meet Drag Racing Underground's NHRA race-winner-predicting-duo from Queens, New York. We'd like to introduce Franky & Felicia. They're a couple of sweethearts who have a love for drag racing, and have asked that we give them a shot at making race predictions. They persistently insisted to us that they have what it takes to get the job done. We're continuing to bring them to you now for their third season!! They definitely were not without controversy during their first two seasons!!... Feel free to send us your opinion of them by using the "Contact Us" link at the top of this page... For those of you missing Mike & Barbara, we regret to report that they've been cancelled... Without further ado, we proudly present to you Franky & Felicia and their NHRA predictions...


Franky: Yo! Me and my hot little lady are stoked 'bout giving youse our picks for this weekend's NHRA Summernationals at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey. Ya know, Jersey is one of my favorite states outside of New Yawk. When I was a kid, my family would frequently make the drive from Queens NY to Englishtown NJ, 'cause my mom used to be able to buy pantyhose for herself and tube socks for my dad on the cheap at Englishtown's big flea market. That's how I discovered Raceway Park. I'd hear the cars revving while we'd be at the market. Eventually I talked my dad into taking me to the drags, and the rest is history as they say. I don't want to say too much about me getting suspended from doing the picks for last weekend's New England Nationals, but hey, when I'm singing Billy Joel karaoke at the local bar, and some heckler starts yelling at me, making fun of my METS t-shirt, I ain't got no choice but to start a scuffle, and that lead to my "bad behavior suspension", making it so Felicia and I were cancelled from bringing you our Epping picks. I begged Drag Racing Underground to let us come back this week to give you our E'Town predictions. I dunno-- I just can't stand when people crack wise about the NY METS-- I get really peeved off! Anyways, whatever, whatever. Pull up a chair and read what me and Felicia got to say to youse 'bout the NHRA drag racing in Englishtown this weekend!

Felicia: Right on, Franky, you gorgeous hunk of a man! I thoughts you sez you wasn't gonna talk about the New Yawk Mets? I know you promised that you wasn't going to talk about The Mets as much this season, like ya did last season! Drag Racing Underground will be gettin' lots of emails again from all the people complaining about you talkin' 'bout the Mets on this DRAG RACING web page! And I'm glad your suspension is over and we're back here at Drag Racing Underground doing our picks. And my E'Town Top Fuel pick is for Chesterfield, NJ native Antron Brown. I'd like to see the Jersey boy win at his old Jersey drag strip. Antron cut his teeth in drag racing at Raceway Park when he was just gettin' started in the sport. Watch Antron and his Matco Tools digger set the weekend on fire.

Franky: No way is Antron Brown gonna win at E'Town.  And I don't mean any offense to all the Antron Brown fans out there in cyberland, but give me a friggin' break. I know you think he's a shoo-in 'cause he's a three time world champ and all that, but I ain't seein' dat happen, dollface. I'm going with Brittany Force and her Monster Energy dragster. I was jumping up and down when she finally won her first event of the year, last Sunday at Epping, not to mention the fact that she beat your pick for this week, Felicia, Antron Brown in the final round. I know that everyone is gonna send me wisecracking emails for picking Brittany. So many clowns like calling me a "fanboy" for frequently picking the highly funded Force girls, but who cares? I'm really feeling that Brittany and her crack crew are gonna dispense some serious whoop ass on the tough Summernationals field!

Felicia: That sounds corny, Franky. It don't sound like you, using that old tired 'whoop ass' expression?? I thinks maybe you're being coached what to say again by that cockeyed blowhard cousin Enzo of yours from Jersey?!?... I thinks your desire to pick Brittany Force is a form of blinded prognostication. And you know that Brittany beat Antron in Epping by less than a slice of a hair-- she just got lucky in my opinion. My pick for Funny Car at the Summernationals is someone who my pesky critics might refer to as somewhat of a 'longshot'. I'm predicting that Bob Tasca III and his Tascaparts.com Ford Mustang are gonna be makin' some brutal drag racin' moves on the E'Town asphalt. I gots that feeling in my belly that Bob Tasca III and crew are gonna get the job done, unless of course, that feeling in my belly is from last night's funky onion dip at our Billy Joel Queens NY chapter fan club party??

Franky: Fugget about Bob Tasca III he's not the racer I see making headlines this weekend. I respect the guy, BUT the Summernationals ain't gonna be his race by any stretch of your overactive imagination, my fragrant Felicia. My crystal ball is showing me images of Courtney Force in the E'Town Funny Car winner's circle. I was sweatin' it when she had the big explosion at Epping. I was relieved that she was able to walk away from that banger. She's a strong broad and the number one qualifier at Epping, so her crew must know sumpthin' 'bout tunin' wit nitro. Sure, I'll get called a "fanboy" 'cause of me pickin' a celeb like Courtney, but I don't care. I gots thick skin just like my hero Billy Joel. I'm  predicting Courtney's bark to be just as vicious as her bite and that she'll be making some Funny Car history this weekend!

Felicia: Ya know, I hates to say dis, Franky, but I just don't thinks Courtney is going to be all that for this coming NHRA  E'town event. Sorry 'bout dat, even though I admire her for handling her Epping blast like a hero. And I thinks you got that whole bite and bark thing backwards... Ya know, I get a lot of flack from many of you readers about me always talkin' 'bout myself, likes I ain't supposed to talk about myself?!? Geeeez, what kinda fun can a gal have if she ain't talkin' 'bout herself?!? Many of you smarty pants complain about me to management, 'cause you thinks I'm nothin' but a crazy bird from Queens. Whatever... For this weekend's race, I'm making me a Pro Stock pick that I've made in the past, every now and then I get an itch on my shoulder to pick 2nd generation sensation Vincent Nobile for Pro Stock. I like guys from Dix Hills, New Yawk, that town ain't too far away of a drive from our stomping grounds. I think Nobile and his Mountainview Tire '15 Camaro are gonna be unstoppable in Englishtown. We need a "local boy does good" Pro Stock feel good story for the Summernationals. Hey, maybe even Kenny Delco will go rounds?? We'll see what happens. I believe Nobile and crew are gonna turn on the heavy, honeybuns!

Franky: I don't agree, sweetcakes. I thinks you're delusional with that Pro Stock pick. I realize that Vincent Nobile is one tough doorslammin' guy, and I like the fact that he's sorta from our neck of the woods, but I'm just not feelin' him as hitting a winning note at Englishtown. Once again, I'm stickin' to my guns, staying loyal, and betting all my jollyrocks on Erica Enders. Just like when Brittany made it to the winner's circle at Epping, I also went happy bananas when Erica finally got herself a win at Epping. She proved that ya gotta believe! I know that she wasn't  setting the world on fire last season, but I still gots to believe that she's got her old winning swagger back at the wheel of her Chevy Camaro.  Her reaction times are still fierce.  And yeah, I can see all the hate mail coming my way now. All the haters who call me a "fanboy" because I still root for Erica, they gets me madder than Billy Joel driving his car through a Long Island pizzeria's window!! Erica Enders is a serious racer when she's out on the track, she sort of reminds me of how you get, Felicia, when you're playing Scrabble with those wise-cracking kids down at the Queens Borough Youth Recreation Center. You get that really intense game face of yours going on just like Erica does when she's driving.

Felicia: I hopes we did good, honey.

Franky: We picked 'em, babe. 'Cause we're a couple of classy winners who know how to pick da winners.

 

 


We are postponing our popular TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial paranormal drag racing adventure series, that's usually featured here every Wednesday, until next Wednesday (June 14th), so we can continue promoting this weekend's 48th Annual NHRA Summernationals taking place at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey... I also want to make a note for all of my dear friends in the media and drag racing industry who are expecting to see me at the track today for Media Day, I won't be able to make it, because I have to tend to some printing matters for the Big Stick press kit that's supposed to accompany the release of the upcoming record, plus, I might have to take a lengthy meeting today with one of our music attorneys, oh well, so unfortunately I'll be missing Media Day. However, I will definitely be showing up at the E'Town strip sporadically throughout Thurs, Fri, Sat and Sun-- I'm really looking forward to seeing lots of my friends and enjoying the spectacular racing... This is an event steeped in legend at one of motorsports' most historic of all racing facilities. Those who are in-the-know are well aware that more knowledgeable drag racing fans flock to this event than any other on the entire east coast... The very best in both the sportsman and professional ranks battle it out for big money and bragging rights on E'Town's hip strip with the maximum grip!!...  When "Mother Nature" is cooperative, we often witness the record books take a severe beating at this race. This is one of the best happenings of the whole season... Don't cha miss this one, baby!!... I highly recommend it... For more detailed information please visit nhra.com and/or racewaypark.com

 

 

See the draggin' speedsters of the nitro sisterhood (Brittany & Courtney Force) at the NHRA Summernationals!


HEY!! THE E'TOWN NHRA SUMMERNATIONALS ARE PRACTICALLY HERE!!!...

Posted by: lovely

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The 48th Annual NHRA Summernationals at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey, is just around the corner, as a matter of fact, it's happening very soon, starting Thursday June 8th until Sunday June 11th!!-- That's right, the Summernationals are practically here, and I stand as many of the dedicated drag racing fans here in my neck of the woods do, in chuffed enthusiastic anticipation of this behemoth sized spectacular drag racing shindig!!... This is an event steeped in legend at one of motorsports' most historic of all racing facilities. Those who are in-the-know are well aware that more knowledgeable drag racing fans flock to this event than any other on the entire east coast... The very best in both the sportsman and professional ranks battle it out for big money and bragging rights on E'Town's hip strip with the maximum grip!!... And this event isn't just about the fast cars that tow in from all around the country, it's also about the PEOPLE-- I love seeing so many racing personalities that I admire and respect in person, that's why I posted a photograph below from the 2015 Summernationals, where I had the chance to spend some time with one of my all-time favorite drag racing heroes, Carol "Bunny" Burkett-- it's seeing people like "Bunny" that really makes the Summernationals an incredible and enchanting experience...  When "Mother Nature" is cooperative, we often witness the record books take a beating at this race. This is one of the best happenings of the whole season. I'll be there with bells on-- and I hope to see you and your family there too!!... Don't cha miss this one, baby!!... I highly recommend it... For more detailed information please visit nhra.com and/or racewaypark.com

 

 

My hero Carol "Bunny" Burkett and yours truly together at a previous NHRA Summernationals back  in 2015.

 


NHRA SUMMERNATIONALS THIS WEEKEND JUNE 8-11... BE THERE!!...

Posted by: lovely

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Believe it or not, it's almost here!!... The 48th Annual NHRA Summernationals at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey!!... This is an event steeped in legend at one of motorsports' most historic of racing facilities. It's no secret that more knowledgeable drag racing fans flock to this event than any other on the east coast... The very best in both the sportsman and professional ranks battle it out on E'Town's hip strip with the maximum grip!!... When "Mother Nature" is cooperative, we often see the record books take a beating. This is one of my favorite happenings of the racing season. I'll be there with bells on-- and I hope to see you and your family there too!!... Don't cha miss this one, baby!!... I highly recommend it... For more detailed information please visit nhra.com and/or racewaypark.com

 

 


THE "SUNDAY FUNNIES" THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL...

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Being that today is in fact Sunday, we present our regularly scheduled "THE SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" feature, to help in eliminating the sic and grotesque epidemic of drag racing internet trolling and bullying...

Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way in which blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marvin's brand of belligerent behavior often has negative consequences for the collective drag racing scene... Marvin aggressively seeks out internet postings by women and young folk who he deems to be 'pesky' (because they don't fit in to his preferred ornery oriented demographic), and tries desperately to pick apart and dissect each and every single word they typed, often claiming the facts are wrong, even if he knows that they are really right-- Anything to create a confrontation laced with lewd language and 'f bombs' is merry sport for Marvin (using 'f bombs' sure makes Marvin feel more 'macho' and more like he's a 'big man')... When dorks like Marvin get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of 'debby-downer' dingbat dissent that fools like Marvin dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless nagging negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a 'family friendly' place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to Marvin's brand of blowhard bullying...

 

 

Marvin is a mess! The problem of blowhard bullies like him on the drag racing internet needs to be addressed!


It's official... Here at Drag Racing Underground we are officially proclaiming that June is "JUICE MONTH"!!... For the entire month of June we pay heartfelt tribute and recognize the brash beauty of NITRO drag racing. You see, "Juice" is an old school drag racing term from many moons ago meaning "NITRO". It's no secret that NITRO burning Dragsters and Funny Cars play a significant role in the overall excitement of today's spectacular sport of drag racing. It is NITRO that puts a "cackle" in the tank and provides the added boost that pushes drag racing to the outer limits of all modern motorsports! NITRO or "JUICE" as we're referring to it here, is the chemical liquid additive that causes flames to shoot tall from the headers and makes drag racing a sizzling spectator sport! For all my friends in the northeast, please keep in mind that next weekend (June 9th, 10th, and 11th) there's going to be a whole lot of emotionally accelerating NITRO racing at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park for the NHRA Summernationals! I'll be there and I hope to see you there too! For more detailed information you are cordially invited to visit racewaypark.com

 

 

NITRO in the tank has a tendency to put cackle in the idle and cause fierce flames to shoot from the headers!

 


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog explaining the cancellation of Franky's & Felicia's scheduled picks for this weekend's NHRA New England Nationals, due to Franky being suspended from duties for a "bad behavior incident" (a scuffle that happened in a Queens NY karaoke bar during Billy Joel night), resulted in a flood of emails. Mitch from Hayward, CA said, "I'm a fan of Franky's & Felicia's NHRA picks. I think all the party poopers who complain about them are just thin skinned wusses. It's not fair that Drag Racing Underground continually suspends Franky for behavior that has nothing to do with drag racing. If the guy gets in a barroom fight, what's the point of suspending him from making drag racing picks? Franky's the funniest **** on the whole internet in my opinion."-- On the far other side of the opinion fence, Melinda from Anderson, SC said, "Why don't you just get it over with and ditch Franky & Felicia permanently? Nobody cares about Billy Joel or the NY Mets, and that seems to be what they are more concerned about than doing sensible drag racing picks!"... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Ced from all the way in Cape Province, South Africa said, "I was looking forward to the crew competing against the darkside's electronics gambling ghouls. But their new bikini beach drag racing party does sound like it's going to be exciting."-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "How is Maria going to drive a sand dragster blindfolded?"... My blog announcing Drag Racing Underground's 1990 Chrysler Fifth Avenue project car prompted Dave from Grosse Pointe, MI to comment, "That is the ugliest project car I've ever seen. You guys really have balls to turn it into an outlaw No/Time racer!"-- On the other side of the opinion fence, Archie from West Allenhurst, NJ said, "Please don't waste $70,000 on that crapmobile. Do the right thing and take it to the junkyard and trade it in for the scrap money!"... My Memorial Day blog recognizing the ultimate sacrifice of "Astoria-Chas" and all the other soldiers who've died in battle resulted in Bobby from Astoria, NY writing, "Thanks for remembering Chas. I have my Ko-Motion diecast Corvette in my den to remind me of him."-- Lucy from Scranton, PA wrote, "Thanks to Doc for writing one of the most straight from the heart Memorial Day editorials I've ever read in my 71 years."... Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Bertha from Wichita Falls, TX in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "If Marvin has such a problem with men who bring their wives to the drag races, maybe he's the one who should stay home!"... My blog promoting the month of May as "Mighty Mopar Month" caused Frederick from South Plainfield, NJ  to say, "Tell Doc that EVERY month is Mighty Mopar Month in my garage!"... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


Today we were planning on running our usual Franky's & Felicia's picks for this weekend's NHRA New England Nationals being held in Epping, New Hampshire, however, due to a recent "unacceptable behavior" incident on Franky's part, Franky and the couple's picks feature are now temporarily suspended. Franky has been reported to have instigated a scuffle last evening at a Queens, New York, bar during Billy Joel karaoke night. Details are still sketchy, but it's rumored a scuffle ensued due to a fellow patron's comments regarding the news of NY METS' Steven Matz soon returning to the pitching mound. As you are probably well aware, Franky is very sensitive regarding issues concerning the NY METS.  We're hoping this "behavioral matter" will somehow be resolved in time for the couple to have their picks feature return for the next scheduled NHRA national event, which incidentally is the NHRA Summernationals happening at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, NJ. We sincerely apologize to all our many readers who were expecting to see Franky's & Felicia's picks today.

 

 


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact...  We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were back at their home base. Fred The Wrench and Peter The Parrot finally settled their feud over whether the crew should take a shot at electronics-enhanced drag racing. Electronic boxes and gizmos are a substantial part of the darkside's gambler ghouls' racing scene. All the crew agreed on the idea of running electronics in one of their race cars, because our gang of do-gooders don't like to ever miss an opportunity to teach the darkside low-lifes a lesson on the drag strip... Leader Larry Lamb addressed everyone ""I'll going to my office to research where the next big gambling ghouls drag racing event is, and submit an entry form. I'll tweak the submission so that we appear as a darkside racing team, because you know they won't take kindly to having us compete if they suspect we're upstanding do-gooders working for the Heavenly Drag Racing Association."... Sebastian then went to his room to get crackin' on his practice tree skills...  "How can I help?" asked Maria... "You can go with Sebastian and smack him in the face when he cuts a bad light with his practice tree, Maria!" says Fred The Wrench... "Are you serious?!?" responded Maria... "Darn right!" said Fred The Wrench... "Why's that?!?" Maria quipped... "BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT US OLD TIMERS LIKE TO REFER TO AS SHOCK THERAPY!! HA HA!!" joked a jovial Fred as he gave Maria a joshing wink of one of his weary bloodshot eyes... Maria then put her hands on her hips and chuckled "Oh, Fred!! Sometimes you're such a corny kooky cornball of a cut-up!!"...

Larry Lamb, now settled in his office, makes an announcement  that blares over the entire compound's public address system "Attention, Attention-- While submitting entry forms and assignment protocol notes to the Heavenly Drag Racing Association's logistics department, I was informed that there's been an intelligence leak, resulting in the darkside's gambler gouls who race the electronics bracket scene now being aware of our identities and appearance, therefore, the Heavenly Drag Racing Association has redirected this particular assignment to a different group of do-gooders in a parallel universe. I ask that we all meet immediately in the main conference room. What remains of what the administrators from the H.D.R.A. have told me, and have subsequently assigned us, I will share with you all face to face."... Fred The Wrench and Peter The Parrot, who are situated in the workshop, look at each other, a bit confused after hearing Larry's announcement, and then start walking to the conference room. Maria and Sebastian halt their practice tree improving session and also give each other a perplexed stare after hearing Larry's statement, and then make tracks to the conference room as well...

All are now together in the conference room... "Please, I ask the you all take a seat." says Larry Lamb in a serious tone, as he sits himself at the helm of a long Italian marble conference table with diamond moon star inlays at its edges... Everyone proceeds to sit down... "What this all about, boss?!?" squawks Peter The Parrot ... "Yeah, we was just gettin' dem electronics properly installed in our '32 roadster with the trick Ford incline six-cylinder!" blurts Fred The Wrench... "I understand that we were all on the verge of getting immersed in the electronics racing project, Fred." replies Larry Lamb "However, our identities have been compromised with those big dollar gambler ghouls. The H.D.R.A. now has to give that assignment to someone else, a different do-gooder team with a better chance of pulling off a successful and more discreet covert electronics drag racing counter operation."... "So, WHAT is OUR assignment going to be?!? questions Maria... "Well, Maria." responds Larry Lamb, "The new assignment that the H.D.R.A. has issued us, will in fact, facilitate your longtime, repeated requests to the administration.".... "You mean I'M FINALLY GOING TO GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO DRIVE?!?" exclaims Maria, as she can barely contain her happy giddiness, "YOU'RE SAYING THAT AFTER ALL THIS TIME, I'M FINALLY, FINALLY GETTING MY CHANCE TO OCCUPY THE DRIVER'S SEAT IN A RACE CAR?!?!?"...

"Yes, Maria" states Larry Lamb, "Sebastian is going to have to work the sidelines for this new assignment."... "How come?" says Sebastian... Larry replies "Because this new assignment requires that we compete in a division of the Darkside Drag Racing Association's planet X program. It's a program that features all female drivers, only female drivers are in the cockpit for this circuit, and very EVIL female drivers I might add, my dear subordinates."... "Ain't dat da beach dragster bikini league or somethin' like that, boss??" blurts Fred The Wrench, "I saw somethin' 'bout that on last week's H.D.R.A. Summer intelligence preview."... "Exactly, Fred" replies Larry Lamb "It's a disgusting, deprived beach sand digger drag racing scene."... "WHAT?!?" exclaims Maria "I HAVE TO WEAR A BIKINI AND RACE AGAINST A BUNCH OF DARKSIDE DEPLORABLE GALS AT SOME KIND OF DISGUSTING DRAG RACING BEACH PARTY?!?... "That's the job, Maria." responds Larry Lamb, "Evidently all your requests over the years to get a chance at driving has resulted in the brass at the H.D.R.A. now willing to give you an opportunity with this eerie seaside driving assignment."... "I guess you can't complain, Maria." adds Sebastian, "After all, you have been pretty headstrong persistent in expressing your desire to drive with the H.D.R.A.."... "Oh, I know. I asked for it." says a now more subdued Maria,  "I'm good with whatever I have to do in order to help curtail the degenerate behavior of the Darkside Drag Racing Association, and their crop of wicked, crooked, rancid racers. I'll wear a bikini and drive one of them beach dragsters if that's what it takes. I'll beat them fiends and make you all proud of me-- I hope."... "That's the spirit, Maria!!" squawks Peter The Parrot... "Oh," says Larry Lamb with a bit of pause and apprehension, "There's still one other thing you need to know, Maria."... "What's that??" Maria replies... "All the women drive blindfolded." responds Larry Lamb... "DRIVE WHILE BLINDFOLDED?!?!?" blurts out Maria "GOOD GRIEF!!!!!!"...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... Well, it appears that our crew have had their assignments switched by the H.D.R.A., due to an intelligence leak, that blew their cover among the electronics gambler racing ghouls. Our team is now assigned to an all female driver division of the Darkside Drag Racing Associations sleazy beach digger competition circuit!! This is finally the opportunity that Maria has long been waiting for. Maria's going to be competing as a bikini wearing, blindfolded beach digger driver!! She's going to not only have to get the hang of driving fast, she's also going to have to be able to do so while blindfolded!!! CAN SHE DO IT?!?!? CAN MARIA PULL IT OFF AND PUT THE LEWD LADIES FROM THE DARKSIDE ON THE TRAILER?!?! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


Today we're proudly unveiling a special project coming to Drag Racing Underground for the Spring/Summer season... We're taking a beat-up 1990 Chrysler "Fifth Avenue", and transforming it into a threatening outlaw No/Time race car, and we're going to do so for a combined budget totaling only  $70,000 or less!!... That's right, this is going to be the one drag strip project that will have you captivated and amazed... Stay tuned for what the automotive aftermarket merchandising experts are already calling "the most ambitious project car metamorphosis of all time"... We're gonna take you from Fifth Avenue to the Outlaw Drag Strip!!...

 

 

This Spring/Summer Drag Racing Underground brings you the race car transformation project of a lifetime!!...