TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... OUR DO-GOODERS LOSE A DRAG RACE?!?-- BUT IS THERE A SILVER LINING IS THE LOSING OUTCOME?!?...


Posted by: lovely in MyBlog on Feb 07, 2018

Tagged in: Untagged 

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are engaged in their first mission of the New Year. The superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association gave our crew an incredibly challenging assignment, teleporting them to a comet being directed through space by fiends from the Darkside Drag Racing Association. It's a corrupted comet being navigated to eventually collide with planet earth and cause cataclysmic destruction. Our gang are currently competing in a front-engined Top Fuel matchrace being held at the cold, creepy and dastardly deranged drag strip facility, located smack in the middle of the volatile comet. And when the race is completed, they're then to initiate a plan to overcome the demented 'snow creature' darkside drag racing inhabitants, and THEN, somehow redirect the comet's projection so that it DOESN'T hit and destroy the earth! It's a time-traveling, circa 1960 drag racing scene, in a twisted time-warped extraterrestrial environment of maniacal mayhem. Maria has a theory that they can possibly and eventually get the comet to change its fatal course by using an ancient Mesopotamian chant to implement a form of metaphysical telekinesis generated planetary projection diversion...

The ghastly snow creatures who populate this comet and its drag strip are hideous low-lifes with no sense of morals or ethics. Comets are fundamentally icy combinations of rock, dust and space debris, hence the wicked snow creatures abound. Our team's running their blown, trick, lightweight, 108-inch wheelbase digger.  Event director, Rosco, paired our team against 'Freaky Frostbite' and his 'Below-Zero Boys' crew. Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer and Freaky Frostbite in his icy white digger fire-up and do their burnouts. Both dragsters get marginal traction while smoking the tires. The somewhat icy drag strip is tricky at best. Maria runs out to the track to perform her back-up girl duties, wearing a parka jacket and hot pants... "My legs are cold." Maria says to herself as she shivers and directs Sebastian into the groove... 'Frigid Fug' of Freaky Frostbite's 'Below Zero Boys' gang is handling back-up duties for Freaky in the opposing lane, and he crassly yells over to Maria, "Hey Baby, it's a shame we're all gonna expire soon when this comet collides with Earth, 'cause I sure would like to get to know you better, babycakes!!"... Maria glances over at Frigid Fug with a sneer of disdain, while getting Sebastian staged in the beams. Freaky Frostbite plays a dirty waiting game, then Rosco waves him to stage. A  rickety christmas tree commences countdown and flashes GREEN!! Both dragsters raise the front tires high up off of the starting line and desperately try getting some kind of bite on a very slippery surface... WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP audibly echoes the dragsters through the dimensions of dark deep space!!!!!!...

It's a tough race!!! Is it possible that Fred The Wrench's tune up ain't cuttin' the muster in these chilled racing conditions?!? At the half track mark, Freaky Frostbite has a few feet of lead on Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer!! The rundown grandstands are filled to capacity with sinister snow creatures, cryptically cheering on Freaky Frostbite with fiendish, frothing-at-the-mouth enthusiasm!! This is a DRAG RACE that's NOT going so well for our do-gooders!! It's the first race of the New Year and it's a nail-biting, nerve wrecking, gosh, darn doozy of a drag strip battle!! Freaky Frostbite holds on to his lead and crosses the finish line first!!... "OH NO!" shouts Fred The Wrench while watching from his vantage point on the starting line "WE LOST! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! WE HAVEN'T LOST A ROUND OF RACING IN AGES!!!"... "Darn! Our very first race of the New Year and we're gettin' put on the trailer!" squawks a down n' out sounding Peter The Parrot... Frigid Fug and the rest of Freaky Frostbite's 'Below Zero Boys' are jumping up and down in gloating celebratory jubilation!... "We're gonna get our load on now!" gurgles Frigid Fug to his teammates "Iced shots and freezy beer floats for everyone!!"... "Listen up!" interjects event director Rosco, "I know it's a tradition for all of us to party hearty after a big win, but remember, we're going to be plowing this comet into planet Earth soon, so y'all better party and get drunk fast, 'cause we're all gonna be history once this comet hits and destroys Earth!"... "Hmmm" discreetly murmurs leader Larry Lamb to Fred, Peter and Maria, "You know, our losing this race may actually be a colossal-sized blessing in disguise, because if all these hideous snow creatures are now commencing to drink themselves cockeyed silly, that should make our task of overpowering them in order to divert the direction of this potentially cataclysmic comet a heck of a lot easier, I do say, dear chums."... "Right on, boss" replies Maria "You've got a good point with that strategic slant of the situation."...

Our do-gooder crew and Freaky Frostbite's 'Below Zero Boys' hop in golf carts with chains on the little tires and zoom down the strip to meet the drivers. Upon arriving in the shut off area, Frigid Fug and the 'Below Zero Boys' embrace Freaky Frostbite and waste no time in breaking out boxes and boxes of booze. All the spectators and track workers also start rapidly consuming outrageous amounts of alcohol and are immediately becoming extremely inebriated.... Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer pulls himself out of his cockpit, hangs his head in disappointment and says "I just don't get it. I cut a good light, I drove to the best of my ability, but I guess since Freaky Frostbite and his team have so much more experience in these chilled racing conditions, they were able to get the best of us."... Larry Lamb whispers to Sebastian, "I realize that you're upset about losing the race, but, as I told the rest of our team back at the starting line, your losing is most likely what's going to facilitate us being able to overcome these cold-hearted, darkside creeps, and get this comet redirected to a course that won't have it fatally colliding with planet earth."... "Yeah," adds Maria, "With all of these snowy goons getting stone cold drunk, they should be much easier to overtake and put into a state of submission."... "Aha," concurs Sebastian, "I get it. I understand what you two are saying to me-- Sure, we just lost the battle on the strip, BUT, with all these snow creatures celebrating their win, and getting their load on, we now have far more of an advantage at winning the war."... Loud music starts blaring over the P.A. system. Snow creatures are chugging iced shots and their freezy beer floats at a manic pace. They're dancing and carrying on likes there's no tomorrow-- Well, actually, with all of them gruesomely anticipating that the comet their occupying is going to collide with Earth, they have every reason to indeed think there is NO TOMORROW for their own sinister afterlife species!!!... IT'S HIGH TIME FOR OUR HEAVENLY DO-GOODERS TO GET BUSY AND MAKE A MOVE TO TAKE ON THESE SNOW-SATURATED DRUNKS, AND THEN REDIRECT THE PATH OF THIS RUNAWAY COMET TO INSURE THAT THERE IS A TOMORROW FOR THE INNOCENT INHABITANTS OF PLANET EARTH!!!...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  In the grand scheme of this ongoing saga, it's somewhat surprising, that the pairing of Sebastian aka The Phantom Racer against Freaky Frostbite and his 'Below Zero Boys' resulted in an ultra-rare loss for our do-gooder team! HOWEVER, our crew's defeat has possibly turned out to be what leader Larry Lamb has called a "blessing in disguise."  The fact that Frosty Frostbite, his 'Below Zero Boys' and ALL the snow creatures, are now celebrating their victory with raucous, reckless, massive consumption of alcohol, may very well make the objective of overpowering them and preventing the sinister snow creatures from hurling this comet into planet Earth an easier task!!!!  CAN OUR CREW OVERTAKE THE SNOW GOONS AND GAIN CONTROL OF THE COMET'S NAVIGATION, AND SUBSEQUENTLY DIVERT IT FROM PLANET EARTH'S PATH AND DOOM?!?! WE'RE DEFINITELY ALL WAITING WITH BATED BREATH TO SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2018 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.