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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog expressing what an exciting time I had attending this past Wednesday night's "Race Your Ride Test N' Tune" at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park resulted in Arthur from Tansboro, NJ writing, "Doc is right. Wednesday nights at Englishtown is the place to be. I love the grudge races and No/Time cars -- Dustin from Belleville, NJ scribes, "I saw Doc and the same red 1959 El Camino pictured in her article on Wednesday night at Etown. That definitely made it the best test & tune night of my year!"... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Catja from all the way in Lahti, Finland said, "Until this week's episode, I was not aware that Peter The Parrot had such a complex concerning his short stature."-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "Mantis thinks he can actually teach veteran Fred The Wrench some pointers about clutch science? I doubt that very much."... My blog encouraging northeast nostalgia fans to come out for the Autumn "MONSTER BASH" happening at THE DIGS AT E'TOWN on Sunday Oct 29 prompted Barry from Deal, NJ to say, "I have THE DIGS marked on my calendar. The Halloween spin on the event is cool. I'm bringing my kids this year."...  Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Karen from Boswell, OK in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "If Marvin really believes the first amendment and free speech is a joke, maybe he should try telling that to my uncle who lost his vision fighting for those rights in Afghanistan! Marvin can go to Hell!"... My blog featuring recognition for all the winners of this past weekend's AAA Texas NHRA FallNationals caused Denise from Vancouver, WA to write, "I agree with Doc. I'm sure Franky must have been happy about Brittany Force winning Top Fuel. He's crazy about her. Even though Felicia seems to be his steady girlfriend, I think he has a serious crush on Brittany."... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


Regular readers of this blog are aware that I've been pretty busy over the last few months, tying up loose ends for the long awaited Big Stick album, that's now set to come out early 2018, so admittedly, I haven't been able to get out to the drags quite as frequently as I would have liked to this season... That said, last night, I abruptly convinced Drag Racing Underground's most absent & reluctant member, John Gill, to join me in an impromptu drive to E'Town's Wednesday Night "Race Your Ride Test N' Tune"... Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's wed nights are plenty of fun, and there's always surprises, because you never know what's gonna show up -- Hence, check out the below posted photo of the wild '59 El Camino that was there last night. Ain't she a bona-fide beauty?!?... It's also worth noting that many of you regular readers may recall back in September, when the NY TIMES ran a Sunday photo essay called "On Any Given Wednesday" with fab photos by Todd Midler and insightful text by John Leland. The piece was basically about E'Town's wed nights. John Gill offered a little "expert" help with that feature. It was pretty darn neat that the NY TIMES gave E'Town's wed nights some much deserved love... Anyways, it was so great to see good friends like Raceway Park's Michelle Marchese among others at the 1/4 mile strip last evening. Heck, it's always a genuine blast to be at the Englishtown strip on wed night. Lots of groovy racers and rides of all sorts of various genres were in attendance, making for a truly interesting variety of racing machinery. I suggest that my readers make an effort to get in on some wed night action in 2018 (you can even drive your street car to the track and then race it on the famous Raceway strip!)... Next time I'll be getting out to the drags will be on Sunday October 29th for THE DIGS AT E'TOWN's Halloween Themed "MONSTER BASH" nostalgia drag event at Raceway's 1/8th mile strip (use airport entrance gate #4). For those of you who still haven't made plans to "BE THERE", I highly recommend you do so now!!-- You're not going to want to miss this ghoulish gearhead gathering!! It's family fun for everyone!!...

 

 

This super fine 1959 El Camino was one of the many wild rides "under the lights" at Englishtown last night.


Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are at their residence racing compound/headquarters, after returning home from yet another mission of paranormal hot-rod motoring mayhem, assigned by their superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. The guys hear Maria shout from her quarters "AAAARRRH!!! THERE'S SOMETHING FROM THE DARKSIDE UNDER MY BED!!!! IT'S A GRUESOME MINIATURE-SIZED LIFE FORM, ER, AFTERLIFE FORM, THAT I'VE NEVER, EVER SEEN BEFORE!!!!"... Rattled by Maria's cry for help, as well as a hideous gurgling sound emanating from the unwelcome intruder, the guys make a mad dash to Maria's quarters... Larry Lamb liberally sprinkles a defensive 'fairy dust' all over the threatening scaled-down gearhead ghoul!!...

The small creature loses its aggressive angst as the defensive fairy dust takes affect. The eerie apparition is now relatively calm, though oozing a foul ectoplasm from beneath an old school drag racing respirator mask that it's wearing. Sebastian yanks the mask off its head... "I recognize that little twerp!!" blurts Fred The Wrench "His name is Mantis!! He's a clutch ghoul and bottom-end guy for the darkside's Funny Car fleet operations!"... "That's right, Freddy-boy!" gurgles Mantis, "I came here just wanting to borrow some tools -- that's all!"... "Yeah, right!" replies Fred "You don't expect us to believe that crock!?! You scared Maria out of her skin!"... "He sure did!" concurs Maria "Mantis is certainly an appropriate name for this little monster, because his head looks like that of a praying mantis!"... Larry Lamb, clears this throat to command attention, "So, what are we to do with this oddball intruder from the drag racing afterlife's darkside? He's a strange mix of insipid interspecies creation."...

"I'll come clean," Mantis gurgles "I'm here looking for political and moral afterlife asylum. I defected from the Darkside Drag Racing Association, because I could no longer bring myself to perform the disgraceful drag racing related tasks they kept constantly assigning me! I swear!!!"... Peter The Parrot squawks, "Ya know, I believe the little guy, and I sure wouldn't mind having someone more my size hanging around here!"... "Let's put Mantis inside the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule," interjects Larry Lamb "and then I'll diligently question his intentions."... Larry Lamb motions for everyone to follow him out of Maria's quarters, and enter a special soundproof room that houses the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule... "Step inside the transparent capsule, Mantis," instructs Larry Lamb  "sit down on the chair."... "I'm too short to climb up on that chair." gurgles Mantis... Sebastian provides Mantis with a helpful boost up on the chair and then closes the capsule's door, though not without some of Mantis' oozing, sticky ectoplasm getting all over his hands... "What is that stuff?!?" blurts Maria... "Ah, don't worry about that." says Mantis, from inside the transparent capsule "That ooze is completely harmless, it's actually an organic traction compound ingredient, that quite frankly doesn't even work that well."...

"Alright," says Larry Lamb with authority "Let the interrogation begin."... Larry activates the power for the foolproof lie detector indicator capsule... "First question," Larry says "are your intentions that of a hostile covert darkside operative?"... "No!" gurlges Mantis... Everyone looks on, somewhat relieved, to now know that Mantis appears to be at least somewhat on the up and up -- so far... "Second question," Larry dictates "Have you come to us to use supernatural strategies to attain our team's secret engine tuning tips?"... "Don't flatter yourself or Fred The Wrench," Mantis gurgles "I've been around the block. I can hold my own with a wrench. I wasn't looking to gain any engine-tuning intelligence from you do-gooders! That's absurd!"... "Humph!" blurts out Fred The Wrench "Ain't this truth capsule thing supposed to humble the one being interrogated??"... Maria giggles..."Third question," continues Larry Lamb "In all your years of performing as a darkside, drag racing afterlife deity subordinate, is it true, as you've claimed earlier, that you indeed found yourself morally and ethically uncomfortable when ordered to perform evil tasks assigned to you by your darkside superiors?"... "Yes! Yes!" gurgles Mantis with conviction "My sinister superiors focused their efforts on corrupting me even further, in an attempt to make me a shameless crew member with no moral compass whatsoever!! And even worse, they were ghoulishly grooming me to get into politics!!"... 

"Politics???" questions Larry Lamb... "YEESSS! POLITICS!!" gurgles back Mantis with high anxiety  "They wanted to remove me from my clutch and bottom-end pit duties at the drags, and have me run as their puppet stooge for the oppressive presidential office within the Darkside Drag Racing Association's ethically grotesque governing body!!!"... "Well," says Fred The Wrench, "If that's truly the case, then that's one trait of integrity about the little freak-a-zoid that I can genuinely respect."... "Ahem, fourth and my FINAL question," interjects a still conservatively skeptical and cautiously wary Larry Lamb, while trying to maintain poker-faced interrogating mannerisms "If we were to grant you asylum from the darkside, would you submit to us planting an override chip into one of your invocation oriented intelligence functions?"... Mantis takes a brief moment of contemplation and responds "Yes, yes I would."... The group's still somewhat befuddled by the course the truth capsule session has gone, but they're now less wary of Mantis, and certainly leaning towards possibly granting him the asylum he's requested.... "Can I ask Mantis a question, boss?" says Sebastian... "Me too!" squawks Peter The Parrot...  "I guess so." replies Larry  "I don't think our asylum seeking darkside defector wouldn't mind just two more questions...

"Thanks, boss," says Sebastian "Hey Mantis, would you be willing to help Fred and Peter wrench in the shop and at the various drag strips where we compete at?"... "Sure," replies Mantis, "I bet I could teach Fred some clutch science that he probably ain't currently aware of -- I'd be a valuable asset to this team!"... Fred rolls his eyes and shrugs his shoulders... "My turn to ask MY question," squawks Peter The Parrot, "Do you find that going through the drag racing afterlife as a short apparition to be challenging, ya know, wit all da shorty jokes?"... "That's a very good question, Peter." comes back Mantis, with more of his 100% truthful delivery, "Look, you and me, Peter, we're about the same size and stature, I get that, so yes, I can relate emotionally to being occasionally frustrated with wise-cracking spirits who don't realize to what degree they're getting on your nerves when cracking wise about your short size."... Peter The Parrot squawks out loud  "I SAY WE KEEP HIM!!! I THINKS  I'M GONNA REALLY LIKE HAVING THIS LIKE-SIZED, PINT-SIZED, BOTTOM-END, CLUTCH  FELLER AROUND!!! CAN WE PLEASE GIVE MANTIS ASYLUM, BOSS?!? CAN WE?!? PLEASE?!? I SAY WE KEEP 'HIM!!! WHADDAYA SAY, BOSS?!?!?... Leader Larry Lamb pauses, regaining his trademark distinguished composure, before starting to flap his woolly mouth and vocalizing his final executive decision of what's to be done concerning the future and fate of Mantis...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  What will Larry Lamb's final decision be?!?  After Mantis testing very well in the Truth Capsule, it appears that Peter The Parrot sure believes giving Mantis asylum is the right thing to do!! WILL LARRY LAMB EXPRESS AN EQUALLY ENTHUSIASTIC VERDICT OF MANTIS' FATE?!?!? WILL MANTIS COME ABOARD OUR HEAVENLY DRAG RACING ASSOCIATION SANCTIONED DREAM TEAM???? - OR BE ETERNALLY INCARCERATED?!? - OR WHO KNOWS?!?!  WHAT'S TO BECOME OF THE PINT-SIZED INSECT-HEADED APPARITION FROM THE DRAG RACING AFTERLIFE'S DARKSIDE?!??  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


WE OFFICIALLY PROCLAIM OCTOBER AS "OUT OF THE HOLE" MONTH!!!...

Posted by: lovely

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It's October... Fall is here... The Autumn foliage on the trees are turning such beautiful shades and colors, and we're celebrating all the racers who aggressively launch "Out of the Hole" in a way that dazzles the fans in the grandstands... Drag Racing Underground is officially proclaiming that October is "OUT OF THE HOLE" Month!!... That's right!! "Out of the Hole" is an old school drag racing expression meaning "the start of a race" -- And there's no denying that those racers who dig their rear slicks into the pavement and raise their front wheels into the air off of the starting line, are one of the race day features that makes a trip to your local drag strip a genuine gosh, darn blast!! Some racers even dare to dance "The Twist" when launching on the green bulb! October is the month that we salute all the racers and teams who campaign cars that start each and every race with a somewhat radical launch! Below we see a photo snapped at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in scenic Englishtown, New Jersey -- It's "Little Simon" in his twisting "No Time" Malibu, pulling "Out of the Hole" in spectacular fashion for the E'Town crowd!

 

 

Drag Racing Underground officially proclaims October to be "OUT OF THE HOLE" Month! Luv the wild launches!


Well, it appears that the often suspended Franky of our somewhat controversial "Franky's & Felicia's NHRA Picks" feature has something to celebrate, being that his all-time favorite Top Fuel driver, Brittany Force, scored her 3rd win of the season and 6th of her career at this past weekend's AAA Texas NHRA FallNationals at the Motorplex. Brittany piloted her Monster Energy digger to a Texas Motorplex elapsed-time record of 3.681. She beat Shawn Langdon in the final. She also put Terry McMillen, Doug Kalitta, and points leader Steve Torrence on the trailer... In the Funny Car class, it was Robert Hight taking top honors in his AAA of Texas Chevrolet Camaro. Hight defeated reigning world champ Ron Capps in the final. This marks Hight's 4th win of the season and 41st of his career. He moves into second place in the points standings. In earlier rounds he whooped Jim Campbell, Alexis DeJoria and Tim Wilkerson... Pro Stock automobile had defending world champ Jason Line in the winner's circle for his 2nd time in 2017 and 27th time of his career. Line drove his Summit Racing Equipment Chevy Camaro to beat a red-lighting Drew Skillman in the final. Other racers to fall prey to Line include Alan Prusiensky, Alex Laughlin and Brian Self... All of us locals 'round here are proud of Old Bridge Township Raceway Park alumnus Eddie Krawiec. Eddie racked up his 6th Pro Stock Motorcycle win of the season, and 42nd of his career at the Motorplex, riding aboard his Screamin' Eagle/Vance & Hines Harley Davidson. He won the final round as soon as defending world champion Jerry Savoie activated the dreaded red bulb. Other racers losing to Eddie include David Hope, Karen Stoffer and Scotty Pollacheck. Krawiec possesses a healthy points lead with LE Tonglet positioned second.... Congratulations to all the winning Professional and Sportsman racing teams who were able to snatch up a shiny  "Wally" trophy at the Texas Motorplex...

 

 

Congrats to E'Town Raceway alumnus Eddie Krawiec on his Texas FallNationals Pro Stock Motorcycle victory.


Being that today is in fact Sunday, we present our regularly scheduled "THE SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" feature, to help in eliminating the sic and grotesque epidemic of drag racing internet trolling and bullying...

Today is the return of the "SUNDAY FUNNIES" feature here on the blog, though admittedly, the way in which blowhard Marvin conducts himself in life, and especially on the drag racing internet, the situation isn't necessarily that, ahem, funny at all-- As a matter of fact, Marvin's brand of belligerent behavior often has negative consequences for the collective drag racing scene... Marvin aggressively seeks out internet postings by women and young folk who he deems to be 'pesky' (because they don't fit in to his preferred ornery oriented demographic), and tries desperately to pick apart and dissect each and every single word they typed, often claiming the facts are wrong, even if he knows that they are really right-- Anything to create a confrontation laced with lewd language and 'f bombs' is merry sport for Marvin (using 'f bombs' sure makes Marvin feel more 'macho' and more like he's a 'big man')... When dorks like Marvin get behind their computer keyboard, and just type negativity with their fingers, it never results in anything positive for the drag racing community, because we don't need the blowhard brand of 'debby-downer' dingbat dissent that fools like Marvin dispense 24/7 on the internet. I do hope that some will take this lesson to heart, because it's a lesson that needs to be learned by those who constantly pollute the drag racing internet with endless oodles of mindless nagging negativity. Let's get smart in 2017. Let's work together to help make the drag racing internet a 'family friendly' place where more people can enjoy it and be enriched and enlightened by it. Let's put an end to Marvin's brand of blowhard bullying...

 

 

Marvin is a mess! The problem of blowhard bullies like him on the drag racing internet needs to be addressed!


As we're now immersed in the autumn season of pumpkins and Halloween howling, I ask that all my readers of the northeast please keep in mind that on Sunday, October 29th, Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in scenic Englishtown, New Jersey, will be hosting THE DIGS AT E'TOWN's annual "MONSTER BASH" nostalgia & traditional drag racing event... 9am-4pm at the E'Town 1/8th mile strip... It's a great family oriented, old school, ghoulish gearhead gathering!!... You'll most surely dig the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT!!!... There's time-traveling drag racing on-track action, show cars, movie cars, some of the grooviest live bands of the region, good food, and haunting Halloween seasonal family fun for everyone!!... Open headers permitted. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre 1965 hot rods, customs, and U.S. bikes. Detroit muscle cars and street freaks thru 1979 are welcome to participate. Helmets, seat belts required for racing. Adult admission $12.00 Kids 6-12 $6.00 Kids 5 and under FREE!!... BE THERE!!-- I certainly will!!... For more information and details you can visit racewaypark.com

 

 

Come on out and experience the Halloween nostalgia drag racin' sensation of THE DIGS' "MONSTER BASH"!!!


Today is "FEEDBACK FRIDAY", meaning I deal with emails that my assistant Stephanie and I receive from readers regarding our most recent blogs... Let's get right to your feedback... Yesterday's blog announcing that Franky's & Felicia's winner picks for this weekend's NHRA Texas Fall Nationals were cancelled, due to Franky getting suspended yet again for questionable behavior resulted in lots of emails of many varied opinions. Mark from Petersberg, VA wrote, "Why doesn't Drag Racing Underground's Stephanie stop playing high school hall monitor and just let Franky be Franky? Just because he gets in a fight trying to score Guns n' Roses tickets doesn't mean he should be suspended from predicting drag racing winners!" -- On the far other side of the opinion fence, Henry from Mooringsport, LA scribes "It seems like Franky gets suspended so often that you cancel the NHRA picks more than you have them! I think it's time to replace Franky and Felicia with someone more responsible."... Wednesday's TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER serial series resulted in lots of you writing in. Bertrand from all the way in LeChalon, France said, "Mantis is a wise cracking character."-- Once again Gary from Wellington, OH wrote in, "My bet is that Larry Lamb decides to give Mantis asylum from the Darkside Drag Racing Association."... My blog encouraging northeast nostalgia fans to come out for the Autumn "MONSTER BASH" happening at THE DIGS AT E'TOWN on Sunday Oct 29 prompted Lisa from Keyport, NJ to say, "I love going to the drags in the Fall because of the cooler temperatures. My hubby and I will definitely be there for the Halloween season finale!"...  Our so-called "SUNDAY FUNNIES THAT AREN'T NECESSARILY THAT FUNNY AT ALL" managed to get Leanne from Muleshoe, TX  in a bit of an angry frenzy, she typed, "Marvin calling women 'ditzy broads' really pees me off. I'd like to rattle that ignorant load of lard's cage!"... My blog featuring my straight talk in remembrance of all the innocent victims who were killed in the recent Las Vegas mass shooting caused an onslaught of responses. Amanda from Junction City, OR wrote, "Doc is right. I'm tired of having to walk on eggshells every time there's a mass gun murder. We should be able to discuss the subject openly. I'm all for the 2nd amendment, but something needs to be done to make the future safer for our children. Too many fools can easily get their hands on deadly weapons that can kill many people very, very quickly."-- On the other side of the opinion fence, Otis from Durango, CO said, "Please tell Doc to shut her pie hole. It's not guns that kill people, it's people who kill people. Why can't stupid media clowns like her understand that? What happened in Las Vegas is a small sacrifice for our right and freedom to legally arm ourselves as conservative American citizens."... My blog wishing Alexis DeJoria happiness when she retires from NHRA Funny Car racing at the end of the 2017 season resulted in Angie from Pleasant Hill, OR  saying, "I appreciated Doc's words about Alexis DeJoria wanting to retire. It's ok to walk away from drag racing to spend time doing other things. Doc is right, too many jerks treat this sport like it's a crazy cult that you can never leave. LOL!"... Thanks to all of you who wrote in with comments. Even though there's no way we have room to print all your emails, we want you to know that all your comments and suggestions are taken into consideration... Keep those emails comin' (by using the "Contact Us" link atop the page), whether you agree or disagree with mine, or any of our substitute guest bloggers' opinions, we're genuinely interested in your feedback... We just ask that you please keep your emails short and to the point, no rambling please, and please also include where you're from, we often find the location of where folks are writing us from to be sort of interesting. If you want to remain anonymous you can do that too (just write that you want to remain anonymous in the body of your email, and we won't disclose your identity in the event we choose to make a reference to your particular opinion)... Thanks...

 

 

It's "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND. That means I print excerpts from some of the emails that you readers write in with. I always appreciate you folks who sit down at your keyboard and type me your thoughts and opinions.


We originally planned for our controversial NHRA winner pickers Franky & Felicia to provide their picks today for this weekend's AAA Texas NHRA FallNationals. However, Drag Racing Underground's Stephanie, who coordinates the publishing of the picks with Franky & Felicia, received word that Franky went AWOL yesterday, resulting in the entire publishing process falling apart. Evidently, after "having a few" with some of his "buddies" from the Queens, NY chapter of what's called "The Billy Joel/METS Coalition" (a fan club that combines its members' love for Billy Joel and the NY METS), it's said that Franky and some of his inebriated cohorts from the club hopped a subway train from Queens en route to Manhattan, where they all embarked on a reckless, drunken attempt to try to buy scalped tickets for last evening's GUNS N' ROSES concert at Madison Square Garden. Reports are coming in that Franky got into a scuffle outside the venue while trying to score tickets, when a group of GUNS N' ROSES fans from New Jersey started teasing Franky and his buddies about the Billy Joel fan shirts and caps they were wearing. Franky is alleged to have taken the teasing very personally and subsequently elevated the scuffle into a more serious brawl, which lead to Franky getting picked up by law enforcement and forced to spend the rest of the evening in the local police precinct's drunk tank.... Details are sketchy at best, but this recent development does once again put Franky on temporary suspension from his assigned prognosticating duties here at Drag Racing Underground. Felicia was not available for comment. Hopefully this matter involving Franky's questionable behavior will be straightened out soon, so that  both Franky & Felicia can return to these pages in time for them to provide us with their predictions for the NHRA Toyota Nationals in Vegas coming up in two weeks. We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience this has caused our regular readers...




Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you...TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER...Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit of the afterlife... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire. 


Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team are at their residence racing compound/headquarters, after returning home from yet another mission of paranormal hot-rod motoring mayhem, assigned by their superiors of the Heavenly Drag Racing Association. Our group just finished up a casual meeting at the kitchen table, where leader Larry Lamb firmly stated that he wants his subordinates to work on improving their tactical supernatural skills, he then lightened up a bit and congratulated Maria on being a winner in her very first bout of on-track drag racing competition... Maria leaves the team's post-mission kitchen meeting, and starts walking to her quarters... Moments later, the guys hear Maria shouting "AAAARRRH!!! THERE'S SOMETHING FROM THE DARKSIDE UNDER MY BED!!!! IT'S A GRUESOME MINIATURE-SIZED LIFE FORM, ER, AFTERLIFE FORM THAT I'VE NEVER, EVER SEEN BEFORE!!!!"... Rattled by Maria's cry for help, as well as a hideous gurgling sound emanating from the unwelcome intruder, the guys make a mad dash to Maria's quarters... Larry Lamb liberally sprinkles a defensive 'fairy dust' all over the threatening scaled-down gearhead ghoul!!...

The small creature loses its aggressive angst as the defensive fairy dust starts to affect its psyche and cosmic behavior thought patterns. The eerie apparition is now relatively calm and complacent, though oozing some kind of foul ectoplasm from beneath an old school drag racing respirator mask that it's wearing. Sebastian yanks the mask off its head... "I recognize that little twerp!!" blurts Fred The Wrench "His name is Mantis!! He's a clutch ghoul and bottom-end guy for the darkside's Funny Car fleet operations!"... "That's right, Freddy-boy!" gurgles Mantis, "I came here just wanting to borrow some tools -- that's all!"... "Yeah, right!" replies Fred "You don't expect us to believe that crock!?! You scared Maria out of her skin!"... "He sure did!" concurs Maria "Mantis is certainly an appropriate name for this little monster, because his head looks like a praying mantis!"... "You got a problem with that?!?" Mantis gurgles... "Yes, as a matter of fact I do," replies Maria in a sharp tone, "don't praying mantises eat each other's heads and do gross stuff like that??"... "Only the females do that sick stuff!" gurgles Mantis, "I'm a man!!"... "Ahem," interjects Larry Lamb, clearing this throat to command attention, "So, what are we to do with this oddball intruder from the drag racing afterlife's darkside? He's a strange mix of insipid interspecies creation. I don't know if we can believe ANYTHING he tells us?"...

"Look, I'll come clean," Mantis says "I arrived here yesterday, but you do-gooders weren't here, so, I crawled in through one of the exterior vents."...  Mantis then switches to a more subdued gurgling  "I came here looking for political and moral afterlife asylum. I defected from the Darkside Drag Racing Association, because I could no longer bring myself to perform the disgraceful drag racing related tasks they kept constantly assigning me! I swear!!"... "Hmm," squawks Peter The Parrot, "call me crazy, but I think I might actually believe the guy -- and ya know, I sure wouldn't mind having another friend around here that's more my size."... "Let's put Mantis inside the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule," interjects Larry Lamb "and then diligently question his intentions."... "That's a smart next step, boss." says Sebastian "Then we'll see if his so-called 'seeking asylum' story is true or false."... Maria speaks, "Yeah, I agree, that's a wise next step in deciphering what this little Mantis creature's intentions really are."...

Larry Lamb motions for everyone to follow him out of Maria's quarters, and enter a special soundproof room that houses the Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule... "Step inside the transparent capsule, Mantis," instructs Larry Lamb  "and sit yourself down on the chair."... "Uh, I'm too short to climb up on that chair." gurgles Mantis... Sebastian provides Mantis with a helpful boost up on the chair and then closes the capsule's door, though not without some of Mantis' bubbling, oozing, sticky ectoplasm getting all over his hands... "Ewwww" says Maria seeing the ooze on Sebastian "What is that stuff?!?"... "Ah, don't worry about that." says Mantis, now seated in the enclosed transparent capsule "That ooze is completely harmless, it's actually an organic traction compound ingredient, that quite frankly doesn't even work that well."... Sebastian grabs some paper towels and GoJo and cleans the strange, slimy ooze off of himself..

"Alright," says Larry Lamb with stern authority in his voice "Let the questioning and interrogation begin."... Larry works a remote operating console, flipping a couple switches that jump-start and activate power for the telepathic lie detector indicator capsule... "First question," Larry says into a wireless and gravity-defying microphone device "Are your intentions that of a covert hostile darkside operative?"... "No!" gurlges Mantis in a borderline robotic manner, as if the capsule in which he's enclosed, is creating a metaphysical aura around him, promoting forced truthful disclosure... Everyone looks on, somewhat relieved, to now know that Mantis appears to be at least somewhat on the up and up -- so far... "Second question," Larry dictates "Have you come to us in order to use either sorcery or supernatural strategies to attain our team's secret engine tuning tips?"... "Don't flatter yourself, or Fred The Wrench," Mantis gurgles "I've been around the block. I can hold my own with a wrench. I wasn't looking to gain any engine-tuning intelligence from you do-gooders! That's absurd!"... "Humph!" blurts out Fred The Wrench "Ain't this truth capsule thing supposed to humble the one being interrogated??"... Maria giggles at Fred's remark...

"Third question," continues Larry Lamb "In all your years of performing as a darkside, drag racing afterlife deity subordinate, is it true, as you've claimed earlier, that you indeed found yourself morally and ethically uncomfortable when ordered to perform evil tasks assigned to you by your darkside superiors?"... "YEESSS! YEESSS!" gurgles Mantis with conviction "MY SUPERIORS COMPLETELY FOCUSED THEIR EFFORTS ON CORRUPTING MY SUPERNATURAL SUBCONSCIOUS, IN AN ATTEMPT TO  MAKE ME A SHAMELESS CREW MEMBER WITH NO MORAL COMPASS WHATSOEVER!!! AND EVEN WORSE, THEY THEN WERE GHOULISHLY GROOMING ME TO GET INTO POLITICS!!!"... "Politics???" questions Larry Lamb... "YEESSS! POLITICS!!" gurgles back Mantis with high anxiety  "THEY WANTED TO REMOVE ME FROM MY CLUTCH AND BOTTOM END PIT DUTIES AT THE DRAG STRIP, AND HAVE ME RUN AS THEIR PUPPET STOOGE FOR THE OPPRESSIVE PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE AMONG THE DARKSIDE DRAG RACING ASSOCIATION'S GROTESQUE GOVERNING BODY!!!!!"... "Hmmm," says Larry Lamb, "evidently, Mantis seemed to believe that making the move from wrenching at the strip, to being transformed into a darkside politician would be a fate worse than being dunked in boiling oil?!?"... "Well," says Fred The Wrench, "If that's truly the case, as it appears to be from him sittin' in dat truth capsule, that's one quality and trait of integrity about the little freak that I can genuinely respect."... Maria once again giggles at Fred The Wrench's blunt frankness... "Ahem, fourth and FINAL question..." interjects a still conservatively skeptical and cautiously wary Larry Lamb, while trying to maintain a stern, poker-faced interrogating manner...

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER...  What will Larry Lamb's fourth and FINAL question be?!?  What will Larry's 'Truth or Lie Indicator Capsule' interrogation ultimately reveal about Mantis' intentions???-- WHAT WILL LARRY'S LAST QUESTION AND MANTIS' ANSWER TELL US ABOUT THE PINT-SIZED INSECT-HEADED APPARITION FROM THE DRAG RACING AFTERLIFE'S DARKSIDE?!??  WHAT THE HECK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2017 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


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