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Doc's Blog

Welcome to Diana 'The Doc' Thomas' official Blog ... A radio interviewer once referred to Diana as being a 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana has indeed filled the shoes (or fire boots) as truly being America's foremost 'Celebrity Drag Racing Authority & Visionary'... Diana is known for being somewhat controversial at times... She writes the truth... Diana tells it like it is about drag racing and other topical issues-- You've seen Diana 'The Doc' Thomas on our DVDs, with Bret Kepner on ESPN, and in all the major media... Don't miss your opportunity to read her daily blog right here at DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND... Diana's blog gives you a daily dose of truth and reality with heart... Diana's unique and refreshing perspective is unlike anything else on the drag racing web... We strongly recommend that you bookmark this page now... Be sure you check in daily to experience & enjoy Diana's unique insight, worldly wisdom and perspective...

Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

 

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were chilling out, after successfully rescuing Fred The Wrench's Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned-certified psyche spiritual counselor women and sending them safely back to their respective H.D.R.A. based homes. The tastefully, though semi-provocative, 'Victorian-Goth-meets-Madison Avenue' dressed counselors, Babella, Angelacias, Carinella, and Quadrosenella, greatly appreciated being saved from the clutches of a dark void celestial life-sentence, so they offered Fred the generous gift of having them serve as his eternal indebted servants, but Fred declined their incredible offer of gratitude, but did accept their offer to keep the four classic '69 Mustang muscle cars the ladies materialized in, and the counselors also went on to produce a miniature-sized Mustang Pro Modified car for Peter The Parrot. Though after the ladies teleported away, and left our crew with the cars, our gang then experienced a static-filled paranormal glitch resulting in the four classic Mustangs morphing from cars into actual mustang horses-- And Peter The Parrot's little 'Stang Pro Mod car also morphed into a mustang pony, but its size, much smaller than the other four mustangs, far more suited to Peter's smaller parrot sized stature... We're switching from firesuits, fireboots and helmets, to flannel shirts, riding spurs and cowboy hats?!?!...

 

Fred pouts a bit and mutters, "Oh well, looks like I better get my Roy Rogers cowboy hat and spurs out of the closet, I guess we're all gonna be goin' horseback ridin' with our new mustang ponies instead of hot roddin' with Mustang muscle cars."... Peter The Parrot fetches his Roy Rogers cowboy hat and spurs out of the closet, then hops up to straddle his pint-sized white mustang pony, he then squawks out of his beak in a horrible attempt at a western accent, "Awww, this ain't so bad, partners!! I'm feelin' fine fittin' happylike, ya'll!!"...  "WHAT KIND OF STUPID TALK IS THAT?!?!" shouts out a now disgruntled Fred The Wrench at Peter The Parrot, "THE IMAGE OF YOU IN A COWBOY HAT, SITTIN' ATOP A MINIATURE MUSTANG, PLAYIN' COWBOY, OR COWBIRD, OR WHATEVER YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYIN' IS WAAAY TOO MUCH OF A BRAIN STRAINING STRETCH FOR ME TO DIGEST. YA SEE, YOU'RE MAKIN' ME FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN ONE OF THEM STUPID SPAGHETTI WESTERN MOVIES, THE KIND OF MOVIES I'D STAY UP WATCHIN' LATE NIGHTS WITH MY LOONY TWIN SISTERS WHEN WE WAS LITTLE KIDS, AND MY SISTERS WOULD ALWAYS SPILL THEIR GRAPE SODAS ON THE COUCH, AND WHEN MOM WOULD WALK IN AFTER COMIN' HOME FROM THE LATE SHIFT AT THE INTERSTATE DINER, SHE'D GET MAD AT THE MESS AND HAVE THE FIRE OF ANGER N' EVIL IN HER TIRED, BLOODSHOT EYES!!!"...

 

 

"STOP TALKING LIKE THAT, FRED!!!!" screams Maria... "WHY?!?!?!" replies Fred... "I BELIEVE YOUR VERBAL ACCOUNT OF YOUR MAMMA HAVIN' ANGER AND EVIL IN HER EYES HAS SUMMONED A SURROUNDING DARK SPIRIT OF THE DRAG RACING AFTERLIFE!!!!"..."I'm afraid Maria's right. I'm sensing unrest in the spiritual wavelengths of our surrounding space." says Larry Lamb... Sebastian speaks "I'm getting a reading registering in the red on the my wrist-worn sinister spirit detection meter!!"... "The darkside of the drag racing afterlife seeks revenge on us, they did not take kindly to us rescuing their captive prisoners from eternal blight." speaks Maria with cautious inflection in her voice, "And they're especially angry with Fred, 'cause he's still on their radar for a kidnapping. They still want to kidnap Fred away from us in the worst way, 'cause they desperately need a new crew chief to work for their evil racing operation."... Then all of a sudden there's the striking sound of an ancient cryptic bell ringing, echoing as if it's reverberating through a horrific spook house of mirrors... "WHAT IS DAT SINISTER SOUND?!?!? WHAT KIND OF BLASTED BELL IS DAT?!?!?" shouts a visibly distraught Fred The Wrench... "I'm afraid, dear boy, that's the sound of the black bell of horror that tolls when dark spirits are abound." says Larry Lamb as a weary look comes over his woolly face... Then an eerie dark purple fire whips around our gang, circling them and their newly acquired horses...  The mayhem causes the horses to react with fear. Peter The Parrot gets thrown off his now frantic miniature mustang pony... "DARN!!!!!" shouts Fred The Wrench, "NOW I'D BE HAPPY TO TAKE A STUPID SPAGHETTI WESTERN OVER THIS CURRENT DARKSIDE GENERATED GRIEF IN A HEARTBEAT!!!"... "TOO LATE NOW!!!!" echoes a fierce gargling voice...

 

"WHO SAID DAT?!?" blurts Fred... "I DID YOU FRUMPY FOOL!!!" replies the fierce gargling voice... "LOOK!!!" shouts Maria as she points on top of Fred's signature M&H Racemaster cap, "IT'S SOME SORT OF EVIL GHOSTLY ABERRATION HOVERING OVER FRED'S HEAD!!!"... Sebastian adds "IT LOOKS LIKE AN ENLARGED PISTON, BUT IT HAS GORY HUMAN FACIAL FEATURES!!"... "Oh, dear," says a less hysterical, and more composed Larry Lamb, "It's common knowledge that the darkside of the drag racing afterlife often keeps their damaged or burnt engine parts, especially burnt pistons, and puts a sinister spell on the parts, animating them into living, breathing, spirit-like entities assigned to do their evil bidding."... "THAT'S RIGHT, YOU WOOLLY-FACED FREAK!!!" sarcastically shouts the paranormal displeased piston, "AREN'T YOU THE SMART GOOFBALL CREATURE OF THE HOUR-- YOU MUST BE THE LEADER OF THIS PATHETIC CREW OF DUFUS DO-GOODERS!!!"... "Yes, I am" states Larry Lamb while maintaining composure, courage and pride, "And I downright resent you referring to my heavenly racing team as dufus do-gooders."...  "ME TOO!!" squawks Peter The Parrot "YOU BETTER TAKE THAT BACK, YOU PUTRID BURNT PISTON PEON!!"... "YOU AMUSE ME, BLOWHARDED BIRD!!" replies the now violently pulsating piston entity, "MAYBE I'LL PLUCK YOUR FEATHERS AND SEND YOU OFF TO A DARK STAR WHERE LITTLE BIRDS ARE ENSLAVED TO AN ETERNAL DAMNATION OF HARD LABOR!?!?!"... "YOU'LL HAVE TO GET PAST ME FIRST!!!" says Fred The Wrench as he looks up at the freakish piston hovering over his head, "WHY DON'T YA TRY TAKING ME?!??... The perturbed piston looks down at Fred, drooling a grotesque, burnt motor-oil type slimy substance out of its gurgling mouth-like orifice, dripping all over Fred's cherished M&H baseball cap and face, and shouts "OH YES, FREDDY BOY!! YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT THAT I'LL TAKE YOU!!! YOU'RE REALLY THE REASON I'VE BEEN SENT HERE-- YOU SEE, AFTER ALL THE FAILED ATTEMPTS BY MY DARKSIDE SUPERIORS TO SEIZE AND KIDNAP YOU, SO YOU THAT YOU CAN BE FORCED TO CREW-CHIEF FOR OUR DARKSIDE RACING TEAM, I'M THE ONE WHO IS FINALLY GONNA GET THE JOB DONE RIGHT!!! I AM PABBOOOLA, THE BURNT HEMISPHERICAL PISTON OF PANIC AND PAIN!!! YOU'RE COMING WITH MEEEE, BUB!!!!! YOU'RE COMING WITH MEEEEEEEE!!!! HA HA HA (GURGLE, GURGLE) HA HA HA!!!!!!".....

 

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... What the heck is this newest threat to Fred The Wrench's safety and well-being?!?!-- A gurgling, drooling, hemispherical burnt piston, animated aberration from the darkside of the drag racing afterlife, calling itself Pabboola?!?!-- Now terrorizing our crew at their home base?!?!  Pabboola seems extremely determined to finally complete the mission of kidnapping Fred, and making him serve as a crew chief for the darkside's racing operation!!!... WILL "PABBOOLA THE BURNT HEMISPHERICAL PISTON"  BE SUCCESSFUL IN KIDNAPPING FRED THE WRENCH, TO PUT HIM TO WORK FOR THE DRAG RACING AFTERLIFE'S DARKSIDE?!?!... WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

 

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2016 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


Today we have the trusty Stephanie substituting for The Doc. At this time Doc is occupied with her Big Stick related recording responsibilities (as she will be increasingly frequently over the next few months). We believe Doc will hopefully be back on the clock for Thursday's blog installment.... Of course on Wednesday (tomorrow) we will be running our regularly scheduled TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER popular metaphysical drag racing hit serial adventure series... Please enjoy Stephanie's Snapshot of the Day... This installment features a recent photo shot at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park. It's Doc on the left and veteran Raceway Park track photographer John McCartney on the right. Both of these characters have put in an awful lot of hours over the years covering the drag scene at Englishtown, though I'm sure John's put in substantially a lot more time than Doc has. Here we see the two loyal and dedicated drag racing media people posing for the camera, managing to muster the effort to put on radiant, cheerful smiles, despite the brutal heatwave they're enduring, because as you may or may not be aware, we've been experiencing a menacing heatwave here in the northeast of late. That said, we sincerely salute these two hard working individuals, and the selfless effort they both put into providing you folks with the best, and most accurate of drag racing coverage.  We love 'em both...

 

 

Despite the blazing heatwave, Doc and E'Town track photographer John McCartney smile for the camera.

 


Thanks to all the racers and spectators who came out in good numbers for yesterday's DIGS AT E'TOWN series event... Old Bridge Township Raceway Park's old school & traditional drag racing series once again proved to be a "blast from the past" on a warm Sunday in late August!!... It was nice to meet so many of you fine friendly folks who read this blog with regularity. I appreciate those of you who made the effort to introduce yourselves and your families. I genuinely enjoyed the two hours that I was able to sneak away from the recording studio, and spend at THE DIGS, before I had to leave and get back to the studio and tend to my "sampling duties". And I must admit that "Mother Nature" was pretty darn kind to us all yesterday, despite the warm weather, it wasn't nearly as hot n' humid as some of the days of the recent past-- It was a relatively comfortable experience to be outside and at the drags.  I also want to give some much deserved recognition to Raceway Park's Walter Frey and John McCartney for all the work they put into making THE DIGS such a success. There were so many interesting and varied cars that showed up for yesterday's DIGS!! Below I posted a photo of a couple of bold radical nostalgia rides as they were pulling into the water box-- I love these cars!!... Oh, and one more thing, don't forget to mark your calendars right now for Sunday October 30th, it will be the final date of THE DIGS series, it's the big "Monster Bash" 2016 season finale!! BE THERE!!!...

 

 


Today is the day, folks!! Today Sunday August 28th is "HOT FUN SUNDAY" at THE DIGS AT E'TOWN!! If you haven't already made plans to attend, and you're reading this blog early enough in the day, I suggest you hightail it out to Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey! I know that I'm gonna sneak out of the recording studio for at least a couple hours today to be there. Today's the second "DIGS" event of the 2016 season. For those of you not aware, THE DIGS is Raceway Park's old school and traditional drag racing series that happens at the facility's 1/8th mile strip. It's a nostalgia drag racing scene that's warm and embracing of everybody. It's a nostalgia scene that's not as "full of itself" as some of the other nostalgia drag racing scenes we see these days. Women, kids, curious novice nostalgia fans, everyone's warmly welcome. The first DIGS event of the season back in July was jam-packed with racers and fans, I expect the same for this Sunday. The TV weather forecasters are all saying that we're gonna have great weather today for drag racing!! Lots of Drag Cars, Gassers, Muscle Cars, Street Freaks, Vintage Motorcycles, etc, thru 1979 make up the machinery you see parked in the pits and storming the strip. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre-1965 Hot Rods, Customs and Domestic Bikes. Helmets and seatbelts required. See the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT!! There's groovy music, good food, and an easy-going social environment. Like I said earlier, it's happening TODAY Sunday August 28th!! And please keep in mind that the third and final date of THE DIGS season series is Sunday October 30 for the MONSTER BASH event. Adult admission $12, Kids 6-12 $6, Kids 5 and under FREE. Gates Open 9am-4pm. Enter at the airport gate #4. I love this special old school and traditional drag racing series. I sincerely hope that I'll be seeing YOU there!! For more information you can visit racewaypark.com

 

 


TOMORROW SUNDAY AUGUST 28TH COME TO "THE DIGS AT E'TOWN"!!!...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

Admittedly, we've been receiving emails from some of our readers who reside outside the northeast region (mostly from the west coast), who claim that they're getting kind of tired of seeing yours truly keep promoting events that take place here in my neck of the woods. I apologize to those folks who are growing tired, however, I still do want to use today's blog to spread the word about something happening 'round here tomorrow that I believe is well worth talking about. Please bear with me. I promise to dedicate some blogs to various more national and international subjects and drag racing related issues starting next week-- I promise... Anyways...  Tomorrow August 28th I recommend my local readers make an effort to attend  "HOT FUN SUNDAY" at THE DIGS AT E'TOWN!!  It's the  second "DIGS" event of the 2016 season at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey!! For those of you not aware, THE DIGS is Raceway Park's old school and traditional drag racing series that happens at the facility's 1/8th mile strip. It's a nostalgia drag racing scene that's warm and embracing of everybody. It's a nostalgia scene that's not as "full of itself" as some of the other nostalgia drag racing scenes we see these days. Women, kids, curious novice nostalgia fans, everyone's warmly welcome. The first DIGS event of the season back in July was jam-packed with racers and fans, I expect the same for this Sunday. The TV weather forecasters are all saying that we're gonna have great weather for drag racing tomorrow!! Drag Cars, Gassers, Muscle Cars, Street Freaks, Vintage Motorcycles, etc, thru 1979 make up the machinery you see parked in the pits and storming the strip. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre-1965 Hot Rods, Customs and Domestic Bikes. Helmets and seatbelts required. See the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT!! There's groovy music, good food, and an easy-going social environment. Like I said earlier, the next and second date of the season is coming up TOMORROW Sunday August 28th!! And keep in mind that the third and final date of THE DIGS season series is Sunday October 30 for the MONSTER BASH event. Adult admission $12, Kids 6-12 $6, Kids 5 and under FREE. Gates Open 9am-4pm. Enter at the airport gate #4. I love this special old school and traditional drag racing series. I sincerely hope that I'll be seeing YOU there!! For more information you can visit racewaypark.com

 

 


SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY AUGUST 28TH!!! IT'S THE DIGS AT E'TOWN!!!...

Posted by: lovely

Tagged in: Untagged 

I realize that today is Friday, and we usually run our famous "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" feature, however, since I've been pretty much just promoting this Sunday's upcoming DIGS AT E'TOWN event all week, most of the emails we've been receiving from readers over the last few days have just been positive words regarding THE DIGS, so instead of running our usual "FEEDBACK FRIDAY" feature, I figured that I'd just dedicate today's blog to once again promoting this upcoming Sunday's "DIGS AT E'TOWN" race... So, here it goes... This Sunday August 28th I strongly recommend that you make the effort to attend  "HOT FUN SUNDAY" at THE DIGS AT E'TOWN, it's the  second "DIGS" event of the season at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey!! For those of you not aware, THE DIGS is Raceway Park's old school and traditional drag racing series that happens at the facility's 1/8th mile strip. It's a nostalgia drag racing scene that's warm and embracing of everybody. It's a nostalgia scene that's not as "full of itself" as some of the other nostalgia drag racing scenes we see these days. Women, kids, curious novice nostalgia fans, everyone's warmly welcome. The first DIGS event of the season back in July was jam-packed to the gills with racers and fans, I expect the same for this Sunday August 28th!! Drag Cars, Gassers, Muscle Cars, Street Freaks, Vintage Motorcycles, etc, thru 1979 make up the machinery you see parked in the pits and storming the strip. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre-1965 Hot Rods, Customs and Domestic Bikes. Helmets and seatbelts required. See the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT!! There's groovy tunes and an eclectic, easy-going social environment. Like I said earlier, the next and second date of the season is coming up this Sunday August 28th!! And keep in mind that the third and final date of THE DIGS season series is Sunday October 30 for the MONSTER BASH event. Adult admission $12, Kids 6-12 $6, Kids 5 and under FREE. Gates Open 9am-4pm. Enter at the airport gate #4. I love this special old school and traditional drag racing series. I sincerely hope that I'll be seeing YOU there!! For more information you can visit racewaypark.com

 

 


This Sunday August 28th I recommend that you make the effort to attend  "HOT FUN SUNDAY" at THE DIGS AT E'TOWN, it's the  second "DIGS" event of the season at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey!! For those of you not aware, THE DIGS is Raceway Park's old school and traditional drag racing series that happens at the facility's 1/8th mile strip. It's a nostalgia drag racing scene that's warm and embracing of everybody. It's a nostalgia scene that's not as "full of itself" or as "stuffy" as some of the other nostalgia drag racing scenes we see these days. Women, kids, curious novice nostalgia fans, everyone's warmly welcome. The first DIGS event of the season back in July was jam-packed with racers and fans, I expect the same for this Sunday August 28th!! Drag Cars, Gassers, Muscle Cars, Street Freaks, Vintage Motorcycles, etc, thru 1979 make up the machinery you see parked in the pits and storming the strip. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre-1965 Hot Rods, Customs and Domestic Bikes. Helmets and seatbelts required. See the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT!! There's groovy tunes and an eclectic, easy-going social environment. Like I said earlier, the next and second date of the season is coming up this Sunday August 28th!! And keep in mind that the third and final date of THE DIGS season series is Sunday October 30 for the MONSTER BASH event. Adult admission $12, Kids 6-12 $6, Kids 5 and under FREE. Gates Open 9am-4pm. Enter at the airport gate #4. I love this special old school and traditional drag racing series. I sincerely hope that I'll be seeing YOU there!! For more information you can visit www.racewaypark.com




Break the conventional chains which bind you to the belief that the only things in this world that exist are those we're able to touch and see in daylight. Ever heard of quantum physics?-- Many credible physicists and scientists from the world's most prestigious of learning institutions now believe that parallel universes exist all around us-- We are likely surrounded by spectacular space, time, energy, and matter anomalies that boggle the brain, proving that what was once thought to be fantasy and fiction, can now be believed as truth and fathomable fact ... We offer you a slice of hard science, combined with sporadic sprinklings of paranormal phenomena, as we here at Drag Racing Underground, proudly present to you... TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Step out of the narrow-minded mist that encircles those who wear their stagnate skepticism like an outdated peach-colored leisure suit, and allow yourself the freedom to follow the adventures of drag racing's infinite and most indestructible spirit... Pull up a chair, toss your inhibitions aside, and ride along with one Sebastian Conrad, strong spirited eternal speed freak extraordinaire.

 

Last week's episode told of how our favorite metaphysical/afterlife drag racing dream team were "chilling out" (as the kids say) after rescuing Fred The Wrench's Heavenly Drag Racing Association sanctioned-certified psyche spiritual counselor women and sending them safely back to their respective Heavenly Drag Racing Association based homes. The tastefully semi-provocative, 'Victorian-Goth-meets-Madison Avenue' dressed counselors, including Babella (the strong n' sassy lip-smacking security chief), Angelacias (top honcho counselor), Carinella (counselor & time travel technician), and Quadrosenella (addiction specialist/undergrad counselor), genuinely appreciated being saved from the clutches of a dark void celestial life-sentence---- So they offered Fred the gift of having them serve as his eternal indebted servants, but Fred declined their incredible offer of gratitude, but did enthusiastically accept their offer to keep the four classic '69 Mustang muscle cars the ladies materialized in, and the counselors also went on to produce a miniature-sized Mustang Pro Modified car for Peter The Parrot. Though after the ladies teleported away, and left our crew with the cars, our gang then experienced a static-filled paranormal glitch resulting in the four classic Mustangs morphing from cars into actual mustang horses-- And Peter The Parrot's little 'Stang Pro Mod car also morphed into a mustang pony, but its size is much smaller than the other four mustangs, far more suited to Peter's smaller parrot scale and stature. Are we switching from firesuits, fireboots and helmets, to flannel shirts, riding spurs and cowboy hats?!?!...

 

Fred pouts a bit and mutters, "Oh darn, looks like I better get my Roy Rogers cowboy hat and spurs out of the closet, I guess we're all gonna be goin' horseback ridin' with our new mustang ponies instead of hot roddin' with Mustang muscle cars."... The crew breaks out in a short bittersweet chuckle at Fred's remark... "OH DARN, I'M GONNA MISS MY MINI-PRO MOD 'STANG!!!!" squawks an even more disgruntled  Peter The Parrot, "I GUESS I BETTER BE GETTIN'  MY ROY ROGERS COWBOY HAT AND SPURS OUT OF THE CLOSET TOO, AND GET SADDLED UP ON MY NEW PONY!!!!"... The four big mustang horses trot slowly towards Fred, Sebastian, Larry, and Maria, while the one miniature mustang trots towards Peter and licks his face... "Awww, this ain't so bad." says Maria as she affectionately holds her white mustang's head in her hands, "These ponies may not have bucket seats and groovy shifter consoles like the cars did, but they appear to be awful lovely creatures."... "Agreed" concurs Sebastian, "I didn't get to do much horseback riding during my mortal years on earth, being I spent all my time occupied with cars, so I'm kind of looking forward to spending some time with these critters."... "Me too." interjects leader Larry Lamb, "At this point in time, I certainly see no harm in having some friendly animals among us here at our shop and living facility."... Little Peter The Parrot falls in line with the others' positive attitudes, and hops up to straddle his pint-sized white mustang pony---- Peter then squawks out of his beak in a bad attempt at a western accent to his cohorts, "YEAH, THIS AIN'T SO BAD, PARTNERS. I JUST GOTTA GET MY COWBOY HAT AND SPURS OUT OF THE CLOSET AND I'LL BE FINE FITTIN' HAPPYLIKE, YA'LL!!"... "WHAT KIND OF STUPID TALK IS THAT?!?!" shouts Fred The Wrench at Peter The Parrot "LOOK, I CAN EMOTIONALLY HANDLE THE FACT THAT WE JUST LOST SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CLASSIC FORD MUSCLE CARS I'LL PROBABLY EVER LAY EYES ON FOR THE NEXT TEN THOUSAND YEARS,  AND I CAN EVEN HANDLE GETTIN' FRIENDLY WITH THESE HERE HORSEY CREATURES, BUT THE IMAGE OF LITTLE PETER PARROT IN A COWBOY HAT, SITTIN' ATOP A MINIATURE MUSTANG, PLAYIN' COWBOY, OR COWBIRD, OR WHATEVER HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE PLAYIN', WELL, THAT'S JUST A BIT TOO MUCH OF A BRAIN STRAINING STRETCH FOR ME TO DIGEST. YA SEE, HE'S MAKIN' ME FEEL LIKE I'M IN ONE OF THEM COMPLETELY ASININE SPAGHETTI WESTERN MOVIES, THE KIND OF MOVIES I'D STAY UP WATCHIN' LATE NIGHTS WITH MY LOONY TWIN SISTERS WHEN WE WAS KIDS, AND MY SISTERS WOULD ALWAYS SPILL THEIR GRAPE SODAS ON THE COUCH, AND WHEN MOM WOULD WALK IN AFTER COMIN' HOME FROM THE LATE SHIFT AT THE INTERSTATE DINER, SHE'D GET MAD AT THE MESS AND HAVE THE FIRE OF ANGER N' EVIL IN HER TIRED, BLOODSHOT EYES!!!"...

 

 

"STOP TALKING LIKE THAT, FRED!!!!!!" screams Maria... "WHY?!?!? WHATS DA MATTER WITS WHAT I'M SAYIN"?!?!? replies Fred... "I BELIEVE YOUR VERBAL ACCOUNT OF YOUR MAMMA HAVIN' ANGER AND EVIL IN HER EYES HAS RUSTLED UP, AND POSSIBLY EVEN SUMMONED SOME SURROUNDING DARK SPIRITS OF THE DRAG RACING AFTERLIFE!!!!"... "Uh," chimes in Larry Lamb, "I'm afraid that Maria may have a point. I too am sensing an unrest in the spiritual wavelengths of our surrounding space."... "I feel it too." says Sebastian, "I'm getting a reading registering in the red on the my wrist-worn sinister spirit detection meter!!"... "Evidently, the darkside of the drag racing afterlife seeks revenge on all of us, they did not take very kindly to us rescuing their captive prisoners from eternal blight." discreetly speaks Maria with cautious inflection in her voice, "And they're especially angry with Fred, 'cause he's still on their radar for a kidnapping. They still want to kidnap Fred away from us in the worst way, because they desperately need a new crew chief to work for their racing operation."... "Oh well," sighs Fred, "Lately Ive really become a magnet for metaphysical turmoil and trouble."... "Don't sweat it." says Sebastian to Fred, "When you're as good of a wrenching talent as you are, Fred, it comes with the territory."... "That's right." adds Larry Lamb, "Whenever there's a spirit like Fred, one that is gifted with the skill of turning wrenches with such natural finesse, there's always going to be the risk of opposing darkside race teams trying to snatch him up and kidnap him for their race team."... Then all of a sudden there's the striking sound of an ancient cryptic bell ringing, echoing as if it's reverberating through a horrific spook house of mirrors... "WHAT IS DAT SINISTER SOUND?!?!? WHAT KIND OF BLASTED BELL IS DAT?!?!?" shouts a visibly distraught Fred The Wrench... "I'm afraid, dear boy, that's the sound of the black bell of horror that tolls when dark spirits are abound." says Larry Lamb as a weary look comes over his woolly face... Then an eerie dark purple fire whips around our gang, circling them and their newly acquired horses...  The mayhem causes the horses to react with fear. Peter The Parrot gets thrown off his now frantic miniature mustang pony... "DARN!!!!!" shouts Fred The Wrench, "NOW I'D BE HAPPY TO TAKE A STUPID SPAGHETTI WESTERN OVER THIS CURRENT DARKSIDE GENERATED GRIEF IN A HEARTBEAT!!!"... "TOO LATE NOW!!!!" echoes a fierce gargling voice...

 

 

Yes, my dear friends, this is the mysterious mind-bending-hereafter rebirth, and puzzling parallel universe relocation of the bewildering being, energy, and entity we call THE PHANTOM RACER... "TOO LATE NOW" says a fierce gargling voice?!?!?... Seems as if Fred would now give a king's ransom for the current sinister situation to change into a stupid spaghetti western!!!... So what if Peter The Parrot looked waaay-too ridiculous sitting atop a little pony for Fred's sensibilities?!?!?--- That was a heck of a lot better of a vibe than the current creepy feeling of fear that's now dominating our group's collective psyche!!!! And even the horses are getting into a nervous tizzy over the impending threat... A BELL TOLLS AND ALL MUST NOW FIGHT TO SAVE THEIR SOULS!!!!!!.... WHAT DOES THE DREADED  'BLACK BELL OF HORROR' REALLY MEAN FOR OUR DO-GOODER FRIENDS?!?!?... WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT?!?!?... What's in store for our drag racing paranormal dream team as they continue to embark on unpredictable drag racing adventures throughout the parallel universes??... Can they all hold it together and successfully champion the powers of good??... Or will they fall victim to evil entities they cannot control???... These are just a few of the mind-twisting questions to be answered in future action-packed episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER!!... There's more paranormal mystical and maniacal drag race mayhem coming your way!!... You definitely do not want to miss it...

 

Stay tuned next Wednesday for a new chapter of the serial paranormal drama series we call TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER... Be sure that YOU follow the story of Sebastian Conrad... Bookmark this page and BE HERE every Wednesday!!... You can read prior episodes of TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER by simply clicking on the 'DOC'S BLOG' link that's conveniently located atop this page, and then scrolling to her Wednesday blog installments (because this series is published here each and every Wednesday). All characters appearing in this series are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. TALES OF THE PHANTOM RACER story and imagery are copyright 2016 DRAG RACING UNDERGROUND.


YOU'RE INVITED TO THE DIGS AT E'TOWN THIS SUNDAY AUGUST 28TH!!!...

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This Sunday August 28th you're invited to "HOT FUN SUNDAY" at THE DIGS AT E'TOWN's second series event of the season at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey!! For those of you not aware, THE DIGS is Raceway Park's old school and traditional drag racing series that happens at the facility's 1/8th mile strip. It's a nostalgia drag racing scene that's warm and embracing of everybody. It's a nostalgia scene that's not as "full of itself" or as "stuffy" as some of the other nostalgia drag racing scenes we see these days. Women, kids, curious novice nostalgia fans, everyone's warmly welcome. The first DIGS event of the season back in July was jam-packed with racers and fans, I expect the same for August 28th!! Drag Cars, Gassers, Muscle Cars, Street Freaks, Vintage Motorcycles, etc, thru 1979 make up the machinery you see parked in the pits and storming the strip. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre-1965 Hot Rods, Customs and Domestic Bikes. Helmets and seatbelts required. See the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT!! There's groovy tunes and an eclectic, easy-going social environment. Like I said earlier, the next and second date of the season is coming up this Sunday August 28th!! And keep in mind that the third and final date of THE DIGS season series is Sunday October 30 for the MONSTER BASH event. Adult admission $12, Kids 6-12 $6, Kids 5 and under FREE. Gates Open 9am-4pm. Enter at the airport gate #4. I love this special old school and traditional drag racing series. And I hope that I'll be seeing YOU there!! For more information you can visit www.racewaypark.com





 


This Sunday August 28th is "HOT FUN SUNDAY" for THE DIGS AT E'TOWN's second series event of the season at Old Bridge Township Raceway Park in Englishtown, New Jersey!! For those of you not aware, THE DIGS is Raceway Park's old school and traditional drag racing series that happens at the facility's 1/8th mile strip. It's a nostalgia drag racing scene that's warm and embracing of everybody. It's a nostalgia scene that's not as "full of itself" or as "stuffy" as some of the other nostalgia drag racing scenes we see these days. Women, kids, curious novice nostalgia fans, everyone's warmly welcome. The first DIGS event of the season back in July was jam-packed with racers and fans, I expect the same for August 28th!! Drag Cars, Gassers, Muscle Cars, Street Freaks, Vintage Motorcycles, etc, thru 1979 make up the machinery you see parked in the pits and storming the strip. Free tech card with paid admission for all pre-1965 Hot Rods, Customs and Domestic Bikes. Helmets and seatbelts required. See the IDA AUTOMOTIVE GASSER SHOOTOUT!! There's groovy tunes and an eclectic, easy-going social environment. Special thanks to sponsors like Blacey's U-Pick Auto Parts and Auto Sales of Wrightstown, NJ, Vintage Variety Shop of Atlantic Highlands, NJ, and Pep Boys Speed Shop. Like I said earlier, the next and second date of the season is coming up this Sunday August 28th!! And keep in mind that the third and final date of THE DIGS season series is Sunday October 30 for the MONSTER BASH event. Adult admission $12, Kids 6-12 $6, Kids 5 and under FREE. Gates Open 9am-4pm. Enter at the airport gate #4. I love this special old school and traditional drag racing series. And I hope that I'll be seeing YOU there!! For more information you can visit www.racewaypark.com




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